You've Had Too Much Coffee When...        * * * - You can ski uphill. - * * * * - You speed walk in your sleep. - *   * * - Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.  - * * - You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. -  * - You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. - *  You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.   * * * - You sleep with your eyes open.  - * * *  * * - You have to watch videos in fast-forward. - * *  You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.    * -  You spend your vacations visiting "Maxwell House"  - *  You're the employee of the month at the local coffee house and you    don't even work there.    ***-  You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week. - ***  * * -  Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.  - * *  * * * -  You chew on other people's fingernails.  - * * *  * * - The Nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.  - * *  **** -  All your kids are named "Joe"  - ****
	WISDOM TO LIVE BY: Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back. Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. He who hesitates is probably right. No one is listening until you make a mistake.