Welcome to the Biker's web site

Biker's FAQ

  1. Warning...
  2. The Rules...
  3. What is this stuff?
  4. Who wrote this stuff?
  5. The Place
  6. Cast of Characters
  7. The Words
  8. What is AWAD

Warning

Biker's chronicles a fantastical world full of colorful bikers (with really large vocabularies). Some of this really large vocabulary may be disturbing to those with low threshholds for lewdness, crudeness, vivid descriptions of sexual activities, witch-craft, and spicy cooking. On the other hand, those of you who like that sort of thing are encouraged to read on.
 

The Rules

Copyright is retained by the author and these posts are for private use of the reader only. It is not to be published in any form whatsoever, including being made available on BBSs without the express prior consent of author.

This is a work of fiction.
 

What is This Stuff?

by Dick Ellis

 Back in 1994 I wanted to force my daughter to follow AWAD - so I forwarded it to her, but with the added feature of a short story or episode to make it more interesting. As I wrote these 'episodes', a story began to emerge, based on a bunch of characters who hang out at a bar named BIKERS. Most of them are "bikers" who go on runs, participate in rallys and competition, engage in the usual bar room brawls, and who also have lives beyond the roar of Harley Davidson (and other) motorcycles. I've mixed in some martial arts and mind-reading ability as well, just to add flexibility to the mess...

All fictional. All off the top of my head. Written daily, "on the fly", and sometimes sent without a second or third re-read or edit. Before Anu Garg mentioned BIKERS or in the AWAD newsletter I was sending these out to a list of 35+ friends. It jumped to 90+ in two days.

I attempt to send an episode (with A.Word.A.Day word) each day, 5 days a week, but sometimes I need an extra day or two to ... refresh.

Send comments if you're moved to do so, I learn, appreciate and am motivated by them (mostly).
 

Who Wrote This Stuff?

Biker's is completely the product of Dick Ellis

 The conversion to HTML was performed by Len Wanger (aka the doctor).
 

The Place

Bikers Heavy Metal Bar is designed for people who like to ride motorcycles and/or enjoy interesting food, drink, vocabulary and music. Everything in Bikers is metal, including the beer mugs, trays (on which gourmet foods are served), floors, tables, cuss-jar, and an aluminum-jewelled piano with metal-composite keys. The mirror behind the bar is made of a highly polished metal alloy - impervious to scratches and discoloration, as is the bartop.  A piazza was added a year or so ago which allows patrons to enjoy the Southern California weather.  Off the main barroom there's a kitchen, a backroom in which poker is played, and an office. Upstairs is a room with a bed in which The Boss sometimes stays, an apartment in which Jake lives and another office sometimes used as a storeroom.
 

Cast of Characters

THE BOSS - Harley D.,is the voice of the story. He owns several Biker bars, including BIKERS, DDD&D (Del Dios Down & Dirty), Owl buffet, Elyssium, La Punta (in T.J.) and others. The Boss is able to "read" peoples' thoughts, but he doesn't really know or care about it.  He takes it for granted and always has.  His memory comes and goes, so he might absquatulate at any moment because he has what he considers to be flashbacks - rememberances, and he doesn't really understand them so he takes off.

JEANNIE, or SIS, is the Boss's sister, . She's telepathic, telekinetic, physically and mentally powerful, a mindPUSHER. Her abilities in the martial arts are quite extraordinary.  Sis is tall and has a distance runner's physique. Her strong propinquity for the Boss is dangerous for his enemies.

BELL or BELLE (Isabella) is the mother and potentate of Sis and the Boss. She is a martial arts junkie/groupie.  She can hold her own in any bar room brawl or drinking contest.  Dark eyes, a bit stalky - she is fit and quick.

AZI, is the father of Sis and Boss, a native American (maybe Hopi). He makes rare appearances both in body and spirit.  His ghostly appearances are usually polysmeous and confounding. Spends his time on the fringes of civilization, on and off the reservations.

JAKE is BIKERS' bartender/gourmet cook, usufructuary of BIKERS. He is dedicated to the  culinary arts, managing BIKERS, and watching over the Boss. Stalky, balding, narrow eyes.  His arms look like he could bend iron beams.  DO NOT arm-wrestle him!

OSCAR is the pianist at BIKERS. He fills in for Jake when the 'gang' goes on a run. Oscar's inerrancy of touch when he's playing the blues is nothing less than extraordinary.  He levanted from New Orleans and his mother.

JILL is the owner of Jill's Jazz House. She and Oscar were once a famous jazz duo, she on flute and Oscar on piano.  They reunited and have recently announced their affiance to each other.

PETE, or RABBIT, is the Boss's half-brother.  Rabbit is a weekend wannabe biker, an afficionado. He loves the road almost as much as he loves the image. Skinny fellow, with a dark dense mop of hair. Mostly responsible for the helmet laws in California, since he is or was the governor of the state.

VERN (SIDECAR) is a big fellow.  Usually runs his hog with a sidecar attached. He stores and maintains all the Boss's bikes. He has had various hair colorings from blonde to darkish brown. Tattoos on both arms with a scar near one eye belie his Galahad behaviour.

CLAIRE (BOOM-BOOM), is a veteran of the Marines in which she served as a demolition expert. Boom-boom tried to manage DDD&D for the Boss, but gave it up.  A small person, dark hair, thin face, strikingly dark eyes, sharp features and a vitriolic tongue when riled. She and Sis have a hate-/-love relationship.

JOEY is the 'kid' of the group, an avid reader and in the beginning of his stay at Bikers, was barely able to write (some thought of him as muzzy). He's a gangling 20 year old, sparse stringy side burns, smooth-faced (but shaves).

B.J. is one of the regulars at Bikers.  He is the Boss's lawyer. Thin, tall, black with fierce eyes.  A Well-educated querist and prone toward being a user of hippopotomonstrosesquipedalianisms. He has responsibility for the Boss's legal affairs.

ROACH (Tod) is a predator, thief, unscrupulous leech. He's been in jail for grand theft auto and innumerable DUI's. He is known to have a taste for the general teen-age population (male and female). Likes to think of himself as vulpine, sly, and cool. He's thin (sometimes emaciated), with stringy greasy-looking dirty hair tied back in a ponytail.

JANE and SHANE (PECKFACE) are a bit of an enigma.  SHANE is always armed, wears white or no socks with his suits. Jane says the reason he's so intense is because he wears fustian underwear.  In Bikerland his nickname is PeckFace because he was attacked by birds during a burglary and has scars over most of his face to prove it. JANE and Sis are partners in a detective agency.  Both seem attracted to the role of shamus.

L.A. is a biker from Los Angeles who hangs with the Bikers' regulars.  Not everyone knows he's a cop from the LAPD but as time goes on he seems to be more and more willing to share his ties with enforcement.  In fact he will grizzle to anyone willing to listen about the woes of working.

GINGER YATES: on-and-off "owner" of the Center. Ginger managed the Center after Len supposedly died. She's tough, intelligent and has a bit of a temper. She has rufous hair with a fair complexion and knows how dress to enhance her fine physical qualities. KOVAL is her brother, an agent for the F.B.I.

LEN YATES, Ginger's husband, went to college with The Boss.  Len is good- looking, with a 35-year old businessman's physique. As manager/owner of the Center,  Len basically immured himself there during his manager-ownership.  He supposedly died while attempting to strangle The Boss for fear of a takeover, but - he's back.

RAY runs the Owl buffet in Gila Bend.  He was the original owner but lost it to the Boss in a poker game.  Ray is a pilgarlic in every sense of the word.

DORIS is a security guard at the Center, and from all indications, a past lover of Boss. She appears to be in sedulous pursuit of his ... attentions.

THE KID is/was a rash youngster with a predeliction for the life of the one-percenter, violence, fast living.  Might have been killed in a bike race.

An olio of past characters, workers at the Center, regulars at BIKERS,  or recently introduced characters include: HENRY, RON, ROB, BUD, JIM, PEALE, DOC, SHELLY, KITTY, and maybe others.  We may or may not see them again, who knows?
 

The Words

*pi.az.za n, pl piazzas or pi.az.ze [It, fr. L platea broad street--more at place] (1563) 2a: an arcaded and roofed gallery b dial: veranda, porch.

*ab.squat.u.late vi -lat.ed -lat.ing, -lates. Midland U.S. [Mock-Latinate formation, purporting to mean "to go off and squat elsewhere."] 1.a. to depart in a hurry.

*pro.pin.qui.ty n [ME propinquite, fr. L propinquitat-, propinquitas kinship, proximity, fr. propinquus near, akin, fr.  prope near--more at approach] (14c) 1: nearness of blood: kinship 2: nearness in place or time: proximity.

*po.ten.tate \'po-t-*n-.ta-t\ n: one who wields controlling power:SOVEREIGN.

*poly.se.mous \.pa:l-i-'se--m*s\ aj [LL polysemus, fr. Gk polyse-mos, fr. poly- + se-ma)  sign: marked by multiplicity of meaning.

*usu.fruc.tu.ary n. [L. usufructuarius.] (Law) A person who has the use of property and reaps the profits of it.

*in.er.ran.cy \(')in-'er-*n-se-\ n : exemption from error : INFALLIBILITY.

*le.vant \li-'vant\ vi [perh. fr. Sp levantar to break camp, deriv. of L levare] chiefly Brit: to run away from a debt.

*af.fi.ance \*-'fi--*n(t)s\ n [ME, fr. MF, fr. affier to pledge, trust, fr. ML affidare to pledge], fr. L ad- + (assumed) VL fidare to trust - more at FIANCE` archaic  : TRUST, CONFIDENCE. affiance vt : to solemnly promise (oneself or another) in marriage: BETROTH.

*afi.cio.na.do n. [Sp., fr. pp of aficionar to inspire affection, fr. afici.n affection, fr. L. affection-, affectio -- more at AFFECTION : 1845]: a person who likes, knows about, and appreciates a usually fervently pursued interest or activity : DEVOTEE.

*Gal.a.had \'ga-l-"had\ n  2 : one who is pure, noble, and unselfish.

*vit.ri.ol.c\, a. [Cf. F. vitriolique.] (Chem.) Of or pertaining to vitriol; derived from, or resembling, vitriol; as, a vitriolic taste; especially virulence of feeling or of speech.

muz.zy aj [perh. blend of muddled and fuzzy : circa 1728] 1 a : deficient in brightness : DULL, GLOOMY <a muzzy day> b : lacking in clarity and precision <his conclusions can be muzzy and naive -- Times Literary Supplement> 2 : muddled or confused in mind.

*vul.pine \'v*l-.pi_-n\ adj : of, relating to, or resembling a fox esp. in cunning.

*fus.tian n [ME, fr. OF fustaine, fr. ML fustaneum, perh. fr. fustis tree trunk, fr. L, club Date: 13th c.]1a : a strong cotton and linen fabric b: a class of cotton fabrics usually having a pile face and twill weave.

*sha.mus \'sha:m-*s, 'sha--m*s\ n [prob. fr. Yiddish shames sexton of a synagogue; prob. fr. a jocular comp]arison of the duties of a sexton and those of a store detective slang  1: POLICEMAN slang  2: a private detective.

*griz.zle vi. & t. [Etym. uncertain.] To worry; to fret; to bother; grumble.

*que.rist \'kwi(*)r-*st, 'kwe(*)r-\ n [L quaerere to ask] : INQUIRER.

*hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian adj : pertaining to a very, very long word.

*ru.fous \'ru:-f*s\ aj [L rufus red - more at RED] : REDDISH.

*im.mure vt im.mured ; im.mur.ing [ML immurare, fr. L in- + murus wall--more at munition] (1583) 1 a: to enclose within or as if within walls b: imprison 2: to build into a wall; esp: to entomb in a wall -- im.mure.me

*pil.gar.lic \pil-'ga:r-lik\ n [pilled garlic] 1a: a bald head 1b: a bald-headed man 2: a man looked upon with humorous contempt or mock pity.

*sed.u.lous \'sej-*-l*s\ aj [L sedulus, fr. sedulo sincerely, diligently, fr. se without]+ dolus guile - more at IDIOT, TALE : diligent in application or pursuit : ASSIDUOUS - sed.u.lous.ly av.

*pre.di.lec.tion \.pred-*l-'ek-sh*n, .pre-d-\ n [F pre`dilection, fr. ML praedilectus, pp. of praediligere t]o love more, prefer, fr. L prae- + diligere to love - more at DILIGENT : a prepossession in favor of something: PREFERENCE implies a strong liking deriving from one's temperament or experience.

*olio \'o--le--.o-\ n [modif. of Sp olla] 2: a miscellaneous mixture or collection : HODGEPODGE, MEDLEY.
 
 

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Thesaurus: n. ancient reptile with large vocabulary.