Reference: posted by: vejeestu on 6/27/00 to Kirpal Singh Satsang Club; Messages number 446 - 452
Since the age of six I was very fond of spirituality, and I used to get members of my family to tell me stories about Lord Krishna and Lord Rama. When I grew up I became a businessman. In 1952 when I was thirty-three years old there was a great crisis in my life; I knew I had to find God—I could not rest until I found Him. My wife became worried that I would leave home. In October of that year, one day at five in the afternoon I told my wife that I was going to see a Saint.
I may mention here that since my childhood I used to hear an inner voice guiding me and telling me what at do—for instance it would give warnings of accidents or of a snake in my path. Somebody would catch my hand and lead me out of danger. So on this day I heard the same voice which said,
"Today let us go to see a Saint."
I reassured my wife that I would be back soon, but that I didn't know where I had to go. The voice directed me antil I found myself standing in front of a gate. There I could read a notice saying that the place was called Sawan Ashram. I remember thinking, "This is a very nice name." So I walked in. In those days Master's house was very small and there were only a few buildings in the Ashram. I asked someone if there was a Saint living there. He said, "Yes, go upstairs."
When I went upstairs, I saw twenty to thirty people sitting in meditation, and also saw an impressive figure sitting in front of them whom I took to be the Master. I also sat down in meditation, but after a few minutes I opened my eyes and saw that the Master was still sitting there, but He was not speaking. I thought that as soon as He spoke I would talk to Him. After ten minutes someone came and put his hand on my shouIder and asked, "Will you do some service?" I was very happy to be asked—here I was, a new person and they were asking me to give service!
After it was finished, I returned to the roof, but I found that the Saint had gone. I asked the people there, "Where is the Saint who was sitting here?" But they told me He had not been there at all. At that moment I saw green, red and white Light circling the people sitting in meditation. Then I thought there must be something here, so I asked, "Where is the Master?" They told me He was standing in the compound. There I found Sant Kirpal Singh talking to a lady about her meditations. When He finished He came straight over to me and said,
"Well, you have come."
As soon as He uttered these words, my whole body was charged with Light and filled with happiness. I knew at once He was a great man. Then we sat down face to face, and He asked me why I had come. I replied that I had come to have bhakti—the loving devotion which leads to union with God. "I've got father, mother, wife, children, shop, house but I am not yet satisfied—today I've come for bhakti." He said that I should first grasp the theory, then I could have it. But I replied, "No, no. I want it right now." He again insisted that I should grasp the theory and attend Satsang. But I again refused. I then told Him that I wanted to talk to the Master who had been sitting on the roof. He sent for a photograph and asked me if this was the person I'd seen? When I replied that it was, He told me.
"This is my Master Baba Sawan Singh Ji Maharaj. He left the physical body four years ago but He is still working—I am an empty pipe and whatever water He sends I give out."
The people around the Master then said, "Why don't You give him something?" I also asked again with folded hands for inner experience. He replied, "All right, come tomorrow morning."
The next day the Master was holding initiation. I remember when I arrived Tai Ji was standing in the doorway and she told me to go inside. Master was lying on a bed. He looked towards me and His eyes were full of red Light. He said, "Have you got faith?" I said, "Yes." He then told me to go outside and sit in the veranda. There were about forty people there, so I took my place in the men's row. When the Master came out He gave us the theory; afterwards He put us into meditation. I had a very good inner exprience of Light and Sound.
For many years I had been giving two and a half hours each day to the worship of Lord Krishna and Lord Rama. As the Master had told us to do two and a half hours meditation this meant that I began giving five hours each day to my spiritual practices. As I had not attended a Satsang I was not aware that there was no need to carry on with my former practices. After nine days I suddenly heard the bell ringing so strong that I thought the whole of Delhi had gone mad - ding-dong, dingdong!
But then I remembered that the Master had said that the bell Sound was one of the highest - so I started jumping about and dancing. When I went to bed I completely left the body - Master was taking me by the hand just like a father taking a five year old child. He showed me the higher planes and the deities whom I was worshipping. The next morning I collected all my idols of brass, went to the Ashram and cast them into the well.
From then on I started attending Satsang - in fact I went twice a day as the Master gave meditation sittings morning and evening. This went on for three months. Then one day I asked the Master if He could give me more inner experience. He laughed and said, "Come tomorrow." I may mention here that from the very first day I was never prevented from entering the Master's house, even when He was sleeping or eating—I was being brought up just like a baby. So the next day when I arrived the Master took me to the meditation room, and put me into meditation which lasted five hours. After that I told the Master I wished to give up my worldly life and leave my business, but he was very insistent that I should carry on with my obligations in the world.
After another three months I again begged the Master to give me more. He put His hand on my shoulder, and He said, "You are like a sheep bleating 'Baa-baa'." (Note: Master sometimes would coin the saying, 'when the sheep bleats, the morsels fall from its mouth' - a statement on ingratitude - nt). The result was that whereas up to then I had enjoyed up to five hours continuously in oceans of Light, then I became like other people and the Light only lasted for fifteen to twenty minutes—the pot was not ready.
People used to complain that I was always telling my inner experiences. Well, it all started one day when Master told me -to take two men with me in the car to see Him at Rajpur, and He whispered in my ear that I should make them happy. So all the way I told them my inner experiences. I used to see showers, heavy showers and flowers of Light and Master sitting on the moon. There were rows of suns, thousands of suns. Once on this plane I saw Baba Sawan Singh showering His love on many satsangis, and I thought, 'Oh, He's not coming to me." But as soon as I had this thought, He came towards me, embraced me, but as He was doing this He changed into Baba Jaimal Singh.
Two months after I was initiated I saw Swami Ji, but when Master asked me what I had seen, I said I had seen Lord Krishna. Master laughed and laughed but it wasn't until I went back to my house that I saw a picture of Swami Ji and I knew then whom I had seen.
All this time the Master was drawing me nearer and nearer to Himself, allowing me to serve Him closely and showing me great love. Whenever I passed a fruit shop and saw any excellent fruit I would buy it for Him. He always accepted it. We eventually got a house within a few minutes walk of the Ashram and also a house almost next to His in Rajpur, My wife often cooked special dishes for the Master which He always ate and enjoyed.
I attended all the World Fellowship of Religions Conferences with the Master. The Prime Minister at the time of the first Conference in 1958 was Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru. He was not a spiritual man, that is not until he met the Master. He was not prepared to attend the Conference, but he came and he spoke; He was dragged by the Master. In his speech he criticised some ofthe holy men attending the Conference, but he praised our Master.
When this Conference was over the Master invited all the foreign delegates—there were about thirty—to the Ashram for lunch. Master was overjoyed to see them. There was one priest from Russia who was also overjoyed to be there. Master told them they could ask for anything they wanted. Only the Russian priest spoke up. He said, "We have seen so much of war we beg you please save us from more. We want peace." Master was very moved. He went into His house and came out carrying photo of Hazur which He gave to the priest. The priest said, I will honor Him, my family will honor Him, my country will honor Him."
The Third Conference was held in Calcutta and Master was extremely ill. I remember we were staying up on the third floor and Master could not even move one step. On the fourth day Muni Sushil Kumar came up to see the Master and said,
"The Conference is a failure, all is lost. The Buddhists refuse to agree to the final resolutions because they will not agree to 'God' being mentioned in it. What can be done?"
Master said, Don't worry, I will come tomorrow." But the next day the doctor said that if the Master left the room He would collapse. Master insited, so He was carried all the way down in chair. Before He went on to the stage the doctor said, "You re extremely sick, please speak slowly." But the Master asked the doctor to examine Him again. The doctor did so and said, "Oh, you are perfectly all right, totally all right." Master walked on to the platform and spoke for one hour. At the end all the problems were solved and everyone signed the resolutions.
But then He got back to His room, Master became so ill again that the poor doctor said, "I don't know who you are—one minute you are seriously ill, the next perfectly well, and then seriously ill again. Please excuse me, but I see that I am unable to help you.
According to my experience this much I can say, the Master used to take over the illnesses of others. Once I was with Him at Rahon. He was to give initiation to about one hundred people. He had refused three people, but someone in the Sangat there begged that they should also be included. Master allowed them in again and all were given Naam. Master was already unwell, but the next day Master told me He would now have to be ill for another three days. From this I realized we should never press the Master to give initiation to people He rejects.
One day when Master was out, two ladies came to the ashram. I spoke with them and they told me they wished to see the Master and to have initiation. I told them that if they came back next day the Master would surely see them and give them initiation. After Master got back that evening, I was with Him; there were several people in the room, and I was massaging Him. Suddenly He sat up and said, "I cannot give initiation to those two people!" No one in the room except me knew what He meant. When those two ladies came again next day I had to tell them the Master could not see them. The Master alone knows who is acceptable for initiation.
In the early days Master hardly ever refused anyone initiation. But later on when He saw so many take it and not do the practices He became more strict. He would just tell them to continue coming to Satsang. If anyone, however, told the Master he had seen Hazur inside, He was so overjoyed, He would say, "How can I refuse you Naam? All right, please sit down."
Sometimes the Master was very kind; I once said, "I would like to see the place at Rishikesh where You stayed after Hazur left the physical body." He kept silent. The next day at six in the morning Ram Saroop, Master's driver, arrived at my house, and told me the car was ready and Master was waiting. We all went to Rishikesh and Master was so jolly, and showed me every place — where He used to sit, where He used to wash, where He used to eat. Then He said, "Let's stay and have some lunch." He ordered me to get drinking water from a special well from where He used to drink. I brought the water, but when He tasted, He laughed and said, "This is not the right water." There ere several wells and I had gone to the wrong one. Master knew at once.
One day a young sadhu came into my shop and we began to talk. I asked him if he saw Light; he said "Yes." I asked him if he heard the Sound; he said "Yes". Then he questioned me. So I said, "By the grace of my Master I See and hear the Light and Sound." I could see his face turning color, so I asked, "Did you tell a lie?" He said, "Yes. Can you help me.?" I closed the shop and took him to the Ashram. The sadhu was very thirsty at the time but I did not know this. As soon as we saw the Master. He said, "Oh, you are just in time, tea is ready." We went inside with Iim; there were three cups of tea on a table, one for the Master, one for the sadhu, and one for me. Then the Master began to question the sadhu: why had he left his home and come to Delhi?
He said he had left Bihar because he had a fight with his elder brother, that he was married and had two children, and that he had been the manager of a factory. Master said at once,
"Look here, I can give you Light and Sound, but you must go back to your family, ask forgiveness, and fulfill your obligations. If you promise to do this, I can give you Naam."
He promised, and he was initiated the following day.
Once a group of us were at Master's house in Rajpur doing seva (service). Master had just bought the house and the garden was in need of clearing. We were a group of about twenty-five; we were clearing stones. It was a very hot day. Every few minutes I kept stopping and saying, "Oh, it's too hot to do this work!" But I was doing my duty. Suddenly Master came out — we were resting under the shade of a tree — and He said, "What is wrong?" Someone said, "Oh, it's Brij Mohan, he's saying it's too hot to work." The Master then sat down with me; He picked up a stone, looked at it, and said, "Oh cloud, my Brij Mohan is feeling very hot." In a moment the sky was full of clouds and we were able to work under these clouds until late in the evening.
The next day as we went on working the Master came over to me and pointed to some tenacious roots of a big tree clinging to the earth by many hair like minor roots. He said, "Brij Mohan, cut them!" He gave me an axe. I cut them and He said, "Look Brij Mohan, people in the world are like these roots; if we cut away our desires we can be free."
Master would teach me things at every turn. Once He asked me, "Who are you?" I replied, "I'm Your servant." He said, "No, you are the servant of your mind."
One day when I was setting out from Delhi to see the Master at Rajpur, my son wanted to go with me but he was very weak with typhoid fever. My wife asked me not to take him, but I said I would ask the child and see what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to go. But as we were about to leave, his condion became worse. The child insisted on going so we all left together. But once we started the journey the fever was gone. When we reached Rajpur, Master was eagerly awaiting us at the gate. He came and embraced my son and kissed him and took him in His lap. He told me,
"This also used to happen to me. My son Darshan used to have a high fever like this when we were going to see Hazur, but as soon as we got into the train very thing was all right."
Once when I was in my shop a dog came in and by intuition I knew he was saying to me, "I am dying, can you save me?" I called out, "Is there anybody who can save this dog?" Then a porter who was passing said that the dog had probably been given some poison, and that if he was given curd he could be saved. So I got some curd and gave it to him. He vomited everything—he was all right; he wagged his tail and went away. I was afraid, so I went straight to the Ashram. The Master was waiting for me. He said, "What's the matter with you?" I explained what had happened, so He replied, "You can bring dogs to life—I can bring men to life. All right, don't worry."
When the construction work at Manav Kendra started in the autumn of 1970, Master was in a very happy mood. He ordered Tai Ji to make some sweet-meats, and fruit was bought to give as parshad. I did not know about this so I came very late. Tai Ji said, "Why are you late? Master has been waiting for you." I found Master was sitting with a big basket of fruit which He had arranged in a very beautiful way. He was all smiles, and He said "Here is a shop — come on buyers, take any fruit you like!" He was talking like this. Then He distributed the fruit; parshad was given to everybody. He was so happy He even gave prashad to the birds also.
Once when the Master was away He asked me by letter to give money to someone who was in difficulties. I gave him some money, and then when Master came back He returned the money to me, but the way He returned it was very strange; as He was counting out the money He would open one eye and close the other eye, then close both eyes, then take the money back and recount it all over again. This went on for about ten minutes. I wondered what He was doing. Then He gave me that money, and I put it in my cash box in my house. Every day I would take money from it, but everytime I noticed instead of getting less that money increased. I thought Master must have given me so much, so after ten days of this I took it back to Him.
When Manav Kendra was still under construction an Army engineer came to see the Master, and wished to help install the pumping machinery which would fill the water tower. Master asked me to wait, assuring him He would go with him later on. But the engineer was impatient and insisted on going off to inspect the pump in spite of Master's repeated requests that he should wait for Him.
As he was inspecting the diesel engine, he fell forward and was in danger of losing his life. Some great force jerked him back, but his hand was cut off. A satsangi who was there immediately clamped his hand round the stub of the arm to prevent the engineer from bleeding to death. Master came, and he was rushed to the military hospital. The man who was holding the stump held it in such a fierce grip that he was unable to let go, and it took four soldiers to get his hand off before the doctors could operate. Master's comment was that on that day, the engineer was to have lost his life, but he had been given pardon and had only lost his hand.
I was always fond of meeting sadhus. I used to know a sadhu who helped me before I met the Master. Of course, once I found the Master I was so happy that when I met this old sadhu again I told him all about Master. He was overjoyed, and asked me take him to meet the Master. When I took him to the Master He didn't say a word. He just went over and put His hand on the old sadhu's head — he went into samadhi for three hours! When he came back he started weeping,
"Why have You brought me back? I was sitting with Baba Sawan Singh and He was talking to me."
Then Master told him. "You belong to Tulsi Sahib's family." He replied, "I came from Hathras, but I didn't know that." A year later the sadhu came to see me and he touched my feet. I jumped up and said, "No, you are more than my father!"
"No, no, my dear son, I got everything through you, and I've come to tell you a story. I was living in the jungle at Vrindavan; there was also a man who had gone there for worship, but his son got cholera and died. He brought the body to me. I was in meditation at the time; the Master appeared to me inside and told me to sprinkle the body with water, otherwise people would say sadhus have no power. I did this and the boy came back to life." The next day we both went to see the Master. But the Master appeared to be very much annoyed; He warned the old sadhu never to do this again. After the old man had left, the Master said to me, 'Look, Brij Mohan, I had to reprimand him to make sure that he didn't do that again. It was all right the first time, but this must not be repeated again."
Very shortly after I had been initiated I went to ask Master to give me more experiences. Tai Ji asked me to wait outside. Suddenly Master came out but I could only see a golden Light standing in front of me for about twenty seconds. Then He spoke, "What do you want?" I said, "Master, I want to see You," but as I was saying this I realised He had just shown me who He was — He was not a physical body but Light.
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