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Andrew Lawson, M.D. |
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Parenting is both challenging and rewarding. I have read many books on parenting, and I believe that they have all been helpful. But I don’t always agree with everything that they say. It is important to incorporate some of their key ideas while at the same time maintaining your own personal approach.
A few key points: 1. Self-esteem: Your child is special! If your child feels loved and valued no matter what they do, then you make them a lion rather than a sheep-a leader rather than a follower.
How would your child complete this sentence: “Mommy and Daddy think that I am very __________.” If they would say ‘special’ or ‘loved’ then you are probably doing pretty well with their self-esteem.
When a famous football coach was asked how proud he must be with his son who was a star quarterback, he said, “I would be just as proud if he had never played the game at all.” This is the essence of self-esteem. It is saying to your child that you love them because of who they are NOT what they do.
Note: Your marriage matters to your kids self-esteem! If you put your kids first and you and/or your wife last, your kids will model being last! Ironically, they will follow your example and put themselves last and develop low self-worth.
2. Positive reinforcements: This can be a GREAT tool to encourage, discipline, and provide structure for your kids. Print and cut out the Spirit Awards. When your child shows love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, faithfulness, and/or goodness, circle it on the Spirit Award and time and date it. Buy some inexpensive ‘prizes’ that your child would like and put them in a card board box in a closet. Label each ‘prize’ with a number. When your child gets 10 Spirit Awards they can choose a ‘prize’ from the prize box that has the number 10 on it. They can wait until they get 20 Spirit Awards to get a bigger prize etc. You can also get your kids to work together! If they work together and collect 100 Spirit Awards, they can go to their favorite restraunt or play place.
3. Lead by example: Our kids watch us VERY closely ALL the time. It is important to lead by example in what you say and do. Yes, once again, marriage matters. Your kids watch VERY closely how you and your spouse interact. It is their primary way to learn how love is expressed and how to have a meaningful relationship. It has been said that your kids feel more loved by the love you show your spouse than by the love that you show them!
4. Safety first: Accidents are the leading cause of death and disability in kids so kid safety is key.
Bikes, skates, razors etc.: Lead by example and wear bike helmets! Wrist guards are very important to prevent wrist injuries and fractures.
Cars: Lead by example and wear your seat belt at all times and drive safely and responsibly. Check your car seats and make sure they are put in correctly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ
Swimming: Make sure your kids learn how to swim. Anytime your kids are in the pool make sure a responsible adult is in charge of watching them and that that person has no other responsiblities. Keep a gate around your pool and keep it locked at all times.
RESOURCES: Parenting tip #5: Quality Time Parenting tip #8: Pain & Suffering Parenting tip #10: Self Esteem Parenting tip #11: Expressing feelings
BOOKS TO READ: 1. The New Dare to Discipline by James Dobson 2. New Hide or Seek: Building Confidence in your Child by James Dobson 3. The Five Love Languages of children by Gary Chapman 4. Night Light: A Devotional for Parents by the Dobson’s 5. Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Cline & Fay |
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KIDS |
