John Carey was my dear friend. We worked together in the jail in the early 1980's, and stayed in touch after our jobs carried us in different directions. On April 24, 1999, Johnny was called to Heaven at age 43, and a void was left in many lives.
Johnny's nickname for me was "Jet Black," and mine for him was "John Boy." He'd start every one of our conversations with, "What's it all about, Jet?" (a question we'd ask each other often while we were locked in the bowels of the jail). I'd always respond to his philosophical question with, "Who knows, John Boy - who knows?"
As we laid Johnny to rest, I looked around the chapel and saw people there from every walk of life. There were judges, attorneys, law enforcement officers, clerical personnel, and many, many others. It was obvious that everybody was there to say a grief-stricken good bye to a man they admired, and to someone they would miss. I couldn't help but think, "This is what's it's all about, 'John Boy.' Look at all the people your life touched!"
This page is
dedicated to my friend, John Carey. You are missed,
"John Boy."
This plaque was presented to each
member of Johnny's family by the Chesapeake Sheriff's Office.
Johnny's
Obituary, as it appeared in the Virginian Pilot on April 27, 1999:
John W. Carey
VIRGINIA BEACH -- John William Carey, 43, of the 4100 block of Indian River Road, died Saturday, April 24, 1999, in Virginia Beach.
Mr. Carey was born in Norfolk and was the son of Robert Lee Carey Sr. of Chesapeake and the late Margaret Williams Carey. He was a member of Bethel Baptist Church in Chesapeake and served as a sergeant with the Chesapeake Sheriff's Department.
Besides his father, he is survived by his wife, Sharon Hackworth Carey; his daughter, Lisa Kay Carey; his son, Jason Lee Carey, all of Virginia Beach; his sister, Betty Ann Carey Schacherer of Dallas, Texas; and his brother, Robert Lee Carey Jr., also of Virginia Beach.
A funeral will be conducted at 2 p.m. Wednesday in the chapel of Oman Funeral Home, Great Bridge. The Rev. John Dearing and Chaplain J.C. Jones will officiate. Burial with honors will follow in Chesapeake Memorial Gardens.
A Letter to the Editor I wrote to say goodbye to John Boy:
To the Editor:
The Chesapeake law enforcement community lost a good man on Saturday, April 24, 1999. Sergeant John Carey, a Circuit Court Bailiff with the Chesapeake Sheriff’s Office, died suddenly at home on that day, and we all lost a good man in his passing.
Unlike several of the other law enforcement folks that I have eulogized here, John was not what one would call a mover and a shaper in Chesapeake’s first line of defense. He was, quietly and proudly, just one of the many "working stiffs" who make-up the cadre of folks who stand between mainstream Chesapeake and its criminals. John Carey had no desire to move into upper management at the Sheriff’s Office. He enjoyed doing his job of providing security to the judges, jurors, witnesses, attorneys and spectators in our court system, and anybody who watched him work could tell he liked his job. John smiled constantly, and was always willing to offer assistance to any citizen in need of it.
Having known Johnny Carey for almost 18 years, I can tell you one thing about that ever-present smile of his - it was sincere! Everything about the man was. Johnny and I worked the same shift at the city jail many years ago, and his presence made our shift satisfying and even fun at times. Behind that impish smile was a fella who had a strong work ethic, but who could also bring good-natured humor and levity to a sometimes boring, and always hazardous job. In addition to working at the Sheriff’s Office, Johnny also worked his family farm, raising livestock and poultry. Often times, he’d put-in a full day’s work on the farm before coming-in on the evening shift at the jail. Despite being tired, he’d give the city another 8 hours - and his co-workers a dependable back-up.
Johnny Carey was many things - a devoted family man (who adored his wife Sharon and was so proud of his kids, Jason and Lisa) a jovial hard worker, a dependable deputy sheriff, and an almost-rabid Dallas Cowboys fan. That last attribute was sometimes maddening to those of us who call ourselves Redskins fans, but he had a way of "rubbing-in" a Cowboys victory that almost made it palatable (note, I said "almost"). Of all the things Johnny was to so many, the most important thing he was to me was a friend. My dad reared me to use that word judiciously, and told me that - if I was real lucky - at the end of my life, I could use-up a whole hand to count my true friends. Johnny made that count. While we didn’t see each other often (our jobs and families took us in different directions), when we did run into each other, his smile was still infectious, his warmth still sincere. He always had news of his family to share, and was interested in how mine was doing. We could talk as if we had just spent a shift together, and as if we were still those two young deputies working the 2nd shift together. I’ll truly miss those encounters.
To Sharon, Jason and Lisa, I can only say, "Thank you for sharing Johnny with us. His presence made Chesapeake a safer place, and made many people very happy. We are here for you, and hope your painful loss is made somewhat more bearable by the fact that we too feel your sadness." To all of those others who knew and now miss him, I would say, "Johnny Carey was an example of the way we should celebrate life. While his time here was brief, it was full. He’d want us to continue-on with our owns lives, and to enjoy the trip to its fullest."
One of our co-workers (all the old shift have talked since Johnny’s passing, trying to console one another), summed-up the way we all will probably remember Johnny. He said, "Since hearing about Johnny, I’ve done a lot of reminiscing. I’ve cried some, but I’ve laughed more." Johnny would like that.
Goodbye, my Friend.