My Song Book

I wrote my very first song sometime during the month of July in 2002.  I was still recovering from Bacterial Meningitis and a total broken heart.  I am sure that the burden that came along with an unexpected illness on top of my broken heart had a lot to do with the induced emotions I found myself going through.  Of course, it could have been some of the medication, however, I really don't so much feel it was. I was taking a shower when the song hit me.  When I am in the shower I usually find myself singing other people's music or reciting lines from my own pieces of poetry that are unfinished in order to find the next line.  For some reason when I said one of the lines in the shower that day, "If you really loved me," I even noticed my country drawl embedded deeply. So, I started singing the one line over and over again as sort of joke to myself.  One line after another came to me and I kept singing the lines over and over again each time adding a new line until I had to leave the shower to write it all down.  I can't explain the feeling that came over me after getting it all down on paper, or uhm computer screen. I  looked at it there staring back at me... my first song!  I could not believe I had just wrote a song.  Of course, of all things it had to be a country song.  That's okay with me though it was a song- and my first one.  How exciting, huh...  Well, it is hard to explain but to me it was an experience of growth and change.  I had just crossed over to writing songs.

I moved to this city
just for you
Packed all of my things
I even quite school
I gave up my life
I never thought twice
because, I loved you
(Chorus)
If you really loved me
You'd be here now
I'm trying to explain
I just don't know how
I don't believe that love
ever walks out
If you really loved me
Oh if you really loved me
If you really loved me
you would come home now
bring a dozen roses
and talk things out
Is it just me or is that what loves about
If you really loved me
If you really loved me
(repeat chorus)
If you really loved me
I wouldn't have to beg
I am giving up my pride
Have you heard a word
I've said...If you really loved me
You can come home now
Talking things out that's what loves about
If you really loved me

Angel Anyway

(Chorus Only)
I don't have a halo
I don't have a light
I don't have wings baby
to take you on a flight
but I know I can love you
I can be there night or day
so I'm kind of like and angel
anyway...

Your face
says it all
when i first walk in a room
you turn red
you turn away
is there anything else that i have to say
your smile
your search for words
you're telling me things I have already heard
(Chorus)
I never said you have to love me
I'm only hear to see you tonight
and as much as I'd like to there is nothing i can do
if the timing isn't right
Why don't you breath
why can't you see
i more than understand the way things have to be
its in your eyes
before we kiss
i can even taste it upon your lips
the way we touch
like making love
holding on so tight
it will never be enough
(Chorus)
Your face
says it all
when ever I turn and start to leave
the way you watch
me walk away
don't ask me why
its one of those things
its like your face
It says it all

I am like a little boy when I look into your eyes
I see things I've never seen before that take me by surprise
I can't explain all I feel, it feels to good inside
Its kind of like standing outside of heaven
and wondering what its like
(Chorus)
You want to go further
You want to see more
You feel like your at home again
but you never been there before
You can see love
You can see light
You can feel truth
and it all feels right
I am like a little boy when you hold me close at night
I feel things I've never felt before that take me by surprise
i can't explain all I feel, it feels too good inside
Its kinda like holding on the gates of heaven
and wondering what its like
(chorus)
You're like flying with the Angels
above the world so high
 

How Does a Boy Sleep     <-- click here to listen or download

How does a boy sleep with tears on his face
if his love had run off
to another place
does he just close his eyes
pretend he's not alone
maybe pack all of his things
leave before morning
(Chorus)
Somebody tell me what to tell him
he needs to know what he should do
Somebody tell me what to tell him
how would you feel if he were you
Tossing and turning
the fire keeps burning
wondering what
it was he did wrong
he can't close those eyes
its too cold to pretend
Tell me what should the boy do
before "love" comes strolling in(repeat chorus)

High as Hell and Don't Give a Shit

I am hi as Hell
and I don't give a shit
If the party's on
I'm getting in it
to hot, to not,
give into it
God,
I am hi as Hell
too high to give a shit

The girls that here
they be work'in it
Saying "they want me
to put my thang on it"

We all hi as hell
Hav'in fun with it
Cause when you hi as Hell
You just don't' give a shit
No problems here
to ever deal with
When you hi its clear
fucking fuck it