The picture below shows the entrance to the cathedral. The acting president of the church, Abraham AbsLover, can be seen on the right wearing the crown. Every Sunday, Abraham pleads with the faithful to give generously to the church. It requires a lot of money to maintain such a great building. Apparently, there are extra funds though as Abraham suspiciously owns 5 luxury cars and 3 large houses.
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picture to the right shows the organist.
The organ is covered in wood and wraps throughout the chamber. Although the core of the organ is acoustic, it also includes a modern digital sampler, hidden beneath the wood. This is used to intersperse near-sub-audible verses into the church music. Currently, the sampler is loaded with the following selections: - "I will use only LEGO-brand bricks." - "I will not play video games instead of building LEGO, unless such video games involve LEGO." - "I have not given enough money to the church this month." - "The church is always right. If it seems wrong, then this is due to your lack of intellect in understanding the logic of the faith." - "Reproduction with non-LEGO Minifigs is immoral... except for brother AbsLover, who must be allowed to experience all possible sins so that he may better understand how they contrast with supreme good."
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| On either
side of the organist, the elite church police watch for errant
church members attempting to leave services early. If such an
infraction is witnessed, then the guard contacts a field agent using the concealed
radio transmitter in his helmet.
The field agent then accosts the member and "persuades" them (with force if necessary) to come back to church. Nobody has ever left the Church of LEGO, at least nobody that has ever lived to tell about it. |
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The picture below shows the front of the church, just above the rose window. This is called the "Balcony of Sin." The church has had a difficult time convincing some, less intellectual church members of the immorality of sin. Therefore, the church decided to personify sin in the guise of "Sebulba - The Ultimate Evil." The dark-gray statue in the center of the balcony represents Sebulba.
Sebulba is said to tempt children and adult LEGO fans to use non-LEGO blocks and to play forbidden video games such as Final Fantasy 10 and Grand Theft Auto 3. Many church members are so devout that they actually have claimed to have seen the evil Sebulba visiting them in their dreams. The church is quite happy that its members are so gullible that they will believe just about anything..
