Note: Guests must happily converse with the cash register person as well, if they ever want to get out of the store with their package.
| As visitors enter the Disney store, they are immediately accosted by numerous, excessively friendly hosts. Each host greets the guest and attempts to strike up a conversation. The guest must respond with excitement to each host's banter. Otherwise, the hosts follow the guest around the store until he or she "shapes up" and starts talking. | |
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| This is
the cash register host. The register has several special
"overcharge" buttons incorporated specifically at Disney's
request. All items automatically receive treatment from the
"general overcharge" button (which is typically programmed for a
10% increase). Items actually carrying the Disney emblem are subject
to the "double-plus overcharge" button (usually a 50% increase).
Note: Guests must happily converse with the cash register person as well, if they ever want to get out of the store with their package. |
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On the second floor (shown below) is the stuffed animal department. The BrickTopia Disney store features obscure, oversized, stuffed animals that can't typically be found at other stores. On the left are two black dogs from 101 Dalmatians (These are special "dark" versions labeled to be of higher value than the "usual" white with spots variety). The snake is from the Jungle Cruise. The teddy bear was held by a little girl in Peter Pan. The alligator tried to eat Peter Pan at the end of that movie. The horse is a replica of the horses found on Disney carousels. The shark is from 2001 Leagues Under the Sea. Disney executives have scoffed at the rumor that these animals were actually just junk they found at local stores because the "real" Disney stuffed animals couldn't be shipped in time. The executives cite the exclusiveness of their collection and note that prices are set accordingly.
| The third
floor sports the popular "Ask Disney" attraction. Here, a
remote Disney relative "Edgar Hoover Disney" will answer
absolutely any question you have on Disney theme parks, the company, or
its movies. The charge is only 10 dollars per question.
(Note: Due to pesky SEC regulations, financial information about the company can only be requested for periods greater than 1 year ago.) |
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| Also on
the third floor is the Wicked Witch Cafe. The specialty is luscious
red apples. Some female guests have complained that they fell asleep
for long periods of time after eating the apples and can only be re-awakened
with a kiss. As much as one would think this would sour business,
the effect has been quite the opposite.
The men of Bricktopia have been buying up these apples in record quantities. When their wives start talking too much or insist on doing "girl things" like going clothes shopping, their husbands simply give their wives one of these prized apples. The wife falls asleep while the husband enjoys "guy" things like playing video games and building LEGO creations. When the husband is ready again, he simply kisses his wife and she wakes up none the wiser. |
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| This is
the executive palace on the top floor of the building. In the center
is the Disney executive planning his next move. On either side are
chests of money. The executive needs these chests because his wallet
simply isn't big enough to fit his personal spending fund (and credit
cards are for ninnies).
A TV producer waits on the left to pitch his show idea to the executive. On the right, the executive's mistress waits patiently for him to finish his business. Even the executive of a "family" company like Disney can't survive on money alone. |
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