Capitalist Pig Reeducation Center - Interior

Here, one sees the ground floor of the school.

Baron VonBrickster stands in the upper-right of the picture, greeting a new student (in the red cap).

The entrances to the school are locked and guarded to prevent entry by pesky reporters, government investigators, and other unwanted guests.

Also, students may not leave the campus for any reason, except upon succesful graduation.

All first-year students must enroll in the "Creative Morality" course.

Here, the teacher claps a knife, pondering "Is it wrong to stab someone in the back with this knife? - Obviously yes."

He continues".. but is it wrong to emotionally back-stab your competitor with unfair competitive practices - I think not!"

The students smile excitedly and quickly jot down this bit of knowledge.

This is the "Capital Acquisition" course.

Here, students learn the various ways to acquire "Capital Resources" (i.e. LEGO bricks).

The teacher has just finished discussing official LEGO outlets like the LEGO Imagination Center.

The rest of the lecture is entitled "Robbing the Cradle."

The teacher discusses how early-teen children shortsightedly lose interest in their vast LEGO collections, instead turning to dating, hanging-out, and general trouble-causing.

At this point, the parents are usually so engrossed in their children's troubles that they are happy to part with their LEGO assets for mere pennies on the dollar.

Unfortunately, as the child reaches his or her mid-twenties, he/she often realizes, with horror, the value of his/her disposed-of LEGO sets.  Luckily, the prudent investor is long gone by this time (having put the LEGO to good use in building offices, factories, and manufactured goods).  The former child must purchase new copies of beloved LEGO sets, often at exorbitant prices on EBAY.

Here, one looks in on the "Explosive Arts" class.

In this class, students learn how to build and deploy explosive devices in order to destroy competitors' offices and factories.

A lingering problem is how to mislead law-enforcement personnel.

The truly intelligent business man can avoid this problem by blaming the explosion on "terrorists."

The teacher provides a list of corrupt, MegaBlocs terrorist groups, who will, for a small fee, claim responsibility for any act, leading the authorities safely away from the true perpetrator.

This is the "Investment for Winners" course.

It discusses how to beat the system by sharing insider information amongst the pool of "Capitalist Pig" graduates, along with passing the information to the school itself.

Here, Martha Stewart is giving a guest lecture on her mistakes in trying to engineer an insider trading arrangement.  Students learn to never trust third parties because they can turn up as witnesses later for the government.

Here, one sees the computer lab.

Students are learning to create and deploy Email Worms on the Internet.

These worms can be subsequently used to distribute SPAM or launch denial of service attacks on competitors web sites.

Today's lesson is on the importance of English grammar.

The teacher stresses how many, otherwise brilliant, Worms are thwarted because users notice the bad grammar, and become suspicious that the email is not from the supposed "official" source.

This is the student dorm room.

Students are packed like sardines to save on valuable space.

One student is composing letter to send back home (in progress on the desk). 

Little does he know that all letters are intercepted, and provided with bogus replies.

The government cannot have potentially "extreme" Capitalist ideas flowing back into the heartland.

This is the school cafeteria.

The cafeteria provides healthy food such as bananas and apples to students free-of-charge .

Unhealthy food, such as hamburgers and pizza are also displayed to lure customers, but must be purchased for ridiculously high prices.

Students often tire of the "free," healthy food after about a week or two of classes.  They begin to squander their allowance on superior tasting goodies.  However, the prices are so high that they quickly run out of their meager allowance. 

Luckily, the school is more than happy to provide a "loan" at the reasonable interest rate of 50%, compounded monthly.  By the time students graduate, they often end up owing the school several million dollars in "student loan repayments." 

The resulting loan payments have made the school very profitable for the Baron.

Students are encouraged to exercise in the school gym.

However, some unusual rules apply.  All games must be backed up by wagers from the players (notice the money on the table).  In the school's mind, this better encourages competitive instincts in students.

Students avoid the gym teacher, "Don C."  When a student's grades are failing, Don invites the student to a "friendly" game of basketball, free of wager.

Unfortunately, Don is a large man, and claims that he cannot help but make clumsy mistakes during game play, such as accidentally breaking students' arms and legs while guarding the basket.

Often, a single game with Don is sufficient to get student's back on track.

However, should that fail, Don invites the student for a "rematch."  At these games, Don seems to be especially clumsy, and the student end up on their way to the school hospital.  Strangely enough, nobody has ever seen the hospital, nor has any student ever re-appeared after going there....