big cliché

So today I read a head line about Pearl Jam doing a benefit concert for cancer or something. I thought I was going to just go off tonight about how musicians take themselves (generally speaking, of course) waaaay to seriously. They start doing PSAs and then adopt a cause....well you know, but then something happened. I was at work at the time and I overheard one of my guys taking one of those calls. I am a shift supervisor at a national helpdesk, and no it isn't AOL. As an obvious result of this, we get lots and lots of phone calls each day. For the most part, the people want to report their problem, get their tech support and be on their merry way. Occasionally, they are looking for someone to blame for their misfortunes and woe to whoever gets that call. Every once in a while though, that guy calls and then it is ON! Now we all do stupid things. Like looking all over the office for the pencil that is behind our ear, or even mixing up the sugar and salt when baking a cake or something. Oh no. Not that guy. I am talking about the kind of stupid that leaves YOU feeling like you have been involved in a traumatic accident involving blunt-force trauma to the smart part of your brain. This is the kind of stupid that literally can suck the will to live right out of you. It runs deep and can literally stop all time while it is happening to you. My all time personal favorite went something like this:
Me: Helpdesk, this is Wayne, how can I help you?
Guy: I have a system problem.
Me: Ok, what's wrong with the system?
Guy: (completely dead pan) It's on fire.
Me:
Guy: Yeah, there's a short across a 3 phase power bus and it's on fire. Thought I'd better call you guys.
Can you imagine what was going on there? "What? Fire extinguisher? Naw, I got to phone this in!"

My coworker's call wasn't quite that dramatic, but just as stupid. He got one of those callers who thought they were the first one to ever call us and yell "Help! I need help! This is the Helpdesk, right?" Yep, never heard THAT before. My point is that these callers make that conscious decision to say crap like that. It isnt' as if they are daft or anything (well most of them aren't). I can almost imagine those guys sitting there saying to there buds, "hey watch this, I'm gonna mess with the Helpdesk guy" as they are navigating the voice menu.

There have been some other classics, and we have even started a spreadsheet at the office to keep track of the true gems so that we can bring it out to have a laugh when things get particularly dismal. I'll leave you with one more classic. I didn't actually take this call, but one of my guys did and it went like this:
HD: So sir, what version of software are you on?
Guy: I don't know. I'm not too familiar with that computer jargon.
Like I said before "by most standards, a great job". So, to quote one of our former comrads who has since moved on: "You know, this job would perfect if people would stop calling."

Here's an interesting site: Political Compass. A coworker (thanks Dusty) referred me to this and it has sparked a bit of thought. I took the test with an open mind and answered honestly and it turns out that I am, politically, a lot closer to Pope John Paul II than my buddy George W. Bush. Needless to say, I was shocked. For reference, I scored: Economic Left/Right: -3 and Social Libertarian/Authoritarian 1.74. Rather than try to explain it here, you should go to their site and read the Analysis section. They can label me what they will, but I am not giving up the AR-15 or going to any sit-ins at the WTO!

To avoid having an entirely negative vibe to the blog, I was pondering happier, more postive thoughts that I might share with you. I kept coming back to the technological greatness of the age in which we live. Yeah, I know that sounds super sappy, but just for the sake of the post, I give you the following examples:

Last week was my in-laws 40th wedding anniversary. My sis-in-law and her husband wanted to make a video for her parents showcasing their 40 years together. Easy enough, right? One would think but let's take a quick look at all the technology that went in to this. First, they (my wife and her sis) had to scan all the photos they wanted to use for the project. (I won't even go into the magic of traditional emulsion photography here). Then, software was used to arrange, score and do all the transations between photographs. Also mixed in was some old 8mm video stock that was converted to MPG. Finally, they wanted a quick video clip of us 4 kids wishing them well on their anniversary. Since they live out of state, my wife and I had to digitally tape our clip, compress it, FTP it up to my cox-hosted webspace, where they downloaded it and added it to the end of the video! Can you IMAGINE what that would have taken to do 10 years ago? I'll tell you: a professional video production company and about 150 smacks! To be able to pull it off at all, and to be able to have two locations 'shooting' simultaneously is just amazing to me. Maybe I am being too easily impressed, but now that I think about it, if you had told me that I (as in ME personally) would be able to DO all of this 10 years ago, I probably would have dismissed you quick as a wink.

Second, is my Handspring Visor Edge. Now the Palm computing environment is nothing new at all, but it still makes me smile a little smile every time I put that thing in my pocket and head out the door. My visor isn't even one of the super-cool models with wireless 'hotspot' access and it still makes me all warm inside. I bought it to upgrade from my Sharp Wizard, which was nice, but a bit bulky and had virtually no support (software, apps, add-ons, etc) when compared to the Palm platform. Anyway, I have come to use this thin little gadget as: address book, calendar, newspaper (using AvantGo) notepad, calculator, phone book, game pad, sketch pad, Mil-dot calculator, briefcase for work files, and even a bible. I haven't started using it for e-mail yet because I just haven't had the need but it is there, waiting to sync up with my Outlook at home or at work. I know some of you are thinking "Well Duh, that is what it is supposed to do, genius", but you know what, I still have that stupid grin.

And finally, there is the html Christmas list I created for my out-of-state relatives who kept asking for ideas this year. 15 minutes, a few links and a little FTP and it was there for the whole family to see and use. Now I am not super-proficient with the html, but I got it done and it accomplished it's intended task. Sure, I could have written them a letter, but would a letter have had hyperlinks to the exact product? Sounds like a bit much maybe, but I doubt my mother would have known where to get a 'red anodized strobo-frame flash bracket' if I hadn't told her. The more I think about it, the more I feel that stupid grin creeping across my face again.

I just finished watching a movie on IFC. The movie is actually irrelevant other than I came here to the computer to lookup one of the cast on IMDB. Since FoxNews.com is my homepage, I usually get distracted by the headlines and take a short stroll through the news. As a result, I just read a short article about a guy who thought The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King was actually, and this is a quote, a "racist stereotypical tapestry". HO-LY COW! I actually had to read it twice. As I recall, a main part of the story was that the fellowship was made up of 4 different races who had to OVERCOME their prejudices to get the job done.

Sometimes I almost forget how hard people try; how hard they actually work to come up with this crap. If I was to say something about the Spike Lee film Girl 6, something maybe negative such as I thought it was degrading to women and glamorized the phone sex industry then what do you bet that I would be labeled a racist? Would you like to put some $$$ on that?

And don't even get me started on the inescapable rash of booty videos that are on EVERY freaking music channel on cable. They may be the plague of this century.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

Well after putting it off for months because I thought this would be rather difficult, requiring me to actually bust off some html and post it to my cox hosted webspace, I have finally decided to blog it up. Jeff hipped me to this service so I figured "Why not"? I will probably neglect it, and the whole concept of blogging has become rather cliche (hence the URL) but I figured I can rant as well as anyone, and if it this easy (again) "Why not"?

So, I guess this is it. I am finally off and blogging. I think I should start by giving a bit about myself. I am 33, Christian, married, happy, a card-carrying member of the Republican party, and have, by most standards, a great job. I own several firearms and absolutely LOVE target shooting. Or perhaps more accurately "plinking". I love going to the range, but don't shoot competitively, although I have considered it and may even be good enough to pull it off. I spent 4 years in the service after high school and have been employed in the private sector since being honorably discharged in '92. I have never gone skydiving (never saw any reason to jump out of a perfectly serviceable aircraft) but I have owned and loved riding motorcycles. I have a lot of strong opinions and convictions that will probably be recurring themes here, but hey, it's my blog, isn't it?

With that said, I will retire for the evening. My brother-in-law and I are going shooting tomorrow, and I have to get up WAAAAAY to early.