big cliché

So now we have the ac cleared for flight, it is hooked into the catapult, the restraining bar is in place, the jbds are up, the boat is pointed in to the wind and the pilot has given the thumbs up, saluted the cat officer and pushed the throttle to 'military' thrust. The only thing left is for the cat officer to push the buttons. A second or two later, the aircraft, straining and shaking against the restraining bar, will squat down as the cat really starts to generate tension. You can see the pilot start to lean forward in anticipation of the all the g's that are fractions of a second away from forcing him back into the seat as the ac goes from 0 to 160 (or so) knots in about 450 feet. Abruptly, all the waiting is over. The retainer snaps; the retaining bar falls; the pilot, now forced back into his seat, pulls the control lever all the way back which throws the horizontal control surfaces all the way down, and the aircraft sails down the deck, excess steam escaping the trailing edge of the shuttle the entire way, which gives it the appearance of moving so fast that it has scorched the steel cat track. There is a second or two of relative silence now that the ac that was just in front of you at full throttle is gone. As I said though, it is relative because the other 20 aircraft have not shut down, it just takes a few for your ears to adjust to the new, lower volume level. Then they repeat this about 20 more times and things are quiet until they announce it is time to prepare the deck for recovery.

As mentioned earlier, NH304 did not make it into the wild blue yonder. This actually occured on my second deployment on the USS Abraham Lincoln. For some reason that I still don't know when they went to launch that ac, the needed wind was not coming over the bow. I don't know if they turned the ship incorrectly, or the wind just died, but it was not coming over the flight deck like it should have been. I had just hit the rack for the day, I worked nights at the time, when I heard a loud noise. Loud noises are not out of place on the carrier, but loud noises followed by the general alert siren are a bit worrysome. I got out of bed, got dressed and headed for the shop. It was there Greg told me that they had just shot NH304 into the drink and were working on recovering the pilot, who had ejected just in time. Turns out the loud noise I heard was the ac hitting the still waters of the Persian Gulf. Fortunately they recovered the pilot with only minor cuts, scrapes and bruises. I tell you what, that short period of time before they determined it was a bad cat shot is the kind of thing that can wreck a maintenance man's nerves. I found myself thinking back, trying to recall if I had worked on that aircraft in the last week, wondering if I, or something I signed off on, could have been responsible for the loss of a 32 million dollar ac. I knew that my kung-fu was strong, but remember I worked nights. It could have been, however remotely, possible that in the absolute pitch black of night at sea I missed something that had been caught up in the flight controls. Now in reality I knew that I had done everything by the books, like I always had, but there is that tiny voice in the back that always makes us wonder. All maintnenance shops were cleared whey they figured out it was a bad cat shot and that was the only plane lost that cruise.

There are those occasional times I miss the excitement of all that activity; knowing that if it werent for us maintenance types, the pilots would not be able to fly their pretty aircraft. But that is a young, single man's game. The cruises are 6 months at a time, not counting work-ups and once underway, the work schedule is 12 on, 12 off. Period. There are no off days at sea, unless you do something stupid and lose a finger...or worse. Any time I think that was super cool, I just have to look around me and then I know I made the right choice.

The other half of carrier operations, as far as aircraft are concerned, is to launch them. I left you guys at the carrier landing last time, so we'll pick it up at the catapult-assisted launch.

All aircraft have a minimum take off speed. This is obvious and well known. What isn't as well known is that the speed generated by the catapult alone is not sufficient to get the ac up to that speed. The carrier must be turned into the wind, and up to a certain speed in knots to be able to make up the difference. This will factor in later when I tell you about why NH304 went to the bottom of the ocean instead of the wild blue yonder.

As mentioned before, I was attached to VFA-22. In truth, when we went out on the Enterprise, the squadron was actually VA-22 because we still had the A-7E instead of the F/A-18C. In either case, the ac were numered NH300 through NH310 for both the A-7s and the 18s. Even though the 18 was the new kid on the block when it comes to fighter-attack operations, the A-7 was still regarded with a high degree of respect. Even more so because the A-7 had a perfect kill ratio with regards to the engine intake. The story was that no one who was sucked into the intake ever came out alive. But I am getting off topic.

USN Carriers have 4 catapults. Two of them are forward of the island and pretty well point straight up the long end of the flight deck. The other two are mid-ship and point off the left side of the ship at a slight angle. The result of this is that they can A) launch a lot of ac very quickly and B) work on any one they want at time and still accomplish A. Keep in mind that I was an ac electrician, but I was able to find out that each catapult was comprised of two giant steam pistons set side-by-side so that their track they rode in kind of resembled a double-barrelled shotgun under the flight deck. The 'shuttle', which is the part the ac launch bar hooks into, was attached to both both pistons in such a way that it would stick up through the flight deck just between the two. A good diagram can be seen here and a good general reference is the root of that page, here. The pistons are stoped by a water brake and the end of the track and they would hit the brake so hard that water could sometimes been seen squirting out of what I can only think would be a relief hole at the far end of the track.

When they get ready to launch ac is when things really start getting crazy. All the planes that are to go on that schedule are all started at the same time, so if they are 21 ac scheduled to go, there will be all those plus a few standby units. Then there are the directors, fuel guys, shop technicians and ordnance guys all running around their ac while trying not get blown down by the others. It is quite the bit of activity to say the least. One by one, they aircraft complete their pre-flight checks with the plane captains and are cleared for launch. As they approach the catapult, the 'troubleshooters' give the entire aircraft a final going-over walking right beside it the whole way checking flaps, ordnance, etc. just to put one last set of eyes on it. They are also cross-trained a bit in each shop so if something is out of whack, they will be right there to try to get it fixed before launch. It kind of goes without saying that if anything is found to be wrong after the bird is in the air, they can't just divert to another airfield. The carrier is the airfield. Once the troubleshooters give the thumbs up (there is one on each side of the aircraft) the cat operators hook the lanuch bar in to the shuttle and attach a restraining bar to make sure the cat generates enough pressure to safely launch the aircraft. (Cat pressure=speed) It is basically a big stick with a hook on one end, and a notch for the restrainer at the other. The restrainers look like little barbells and are color coded for various shear strenghts. The ones for our ac were pink, and were hooked into a recess on the opposite side of the launch bar. The restraining bar was then attached to the other end of the barbell and the whole thing hooked in to the deck. If the cat didn't generate enough pressure, the little pink barbell would not break, and the ac would not be able to get off the deck. In fact, if you watch Top Gun real close you can see the nose gear hunker down just a tiny bit as the tension builds just before the restraining link breaks. As a side note, if you excuse it's obvious technical shortcomings, Top Gun can be a very good way to see how things really work during carrier op's. Just ignore all the hollywood imbellishments and what is left is how it goes. In fact, a lot of those scenes were filmed on the Enterprise a few years before I joined up.

You may also recall I mentioned that jet exhaust is always trying to knock you down and blow you off the flight deck. To counter that, the engineers designed 'jet blast deflectors' that rise up out of the deck to effectively direct the engine blast, or prop wash, up and safely out of the way. Don't be fooled into thinking that 100% of that thrust goes straight up. A lot of it goes to the side as well, and if you are in the wrong place, you will get a nice warm blast that is actually a little too hot to be considered pleasent. This, however, can be a welcome thing in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean. Also worth noting is that the cats, since they are steam powered, are always hot. This can be a good thing if you are still in the North Atlantic, but a very, very bad thing in the Persian Gulf. I also found out that laying a tool pouch on the cat track will warm most tools to the point where they are too hot to handle. By the way, that only took one episode to be permanently etched in my memory.

You may remember I told you earlier that my current employer, RCI, lost the contract I have been working on for 7.5 years. (Egad, 7.5 already!). Fortunately, the company who picked it up has extended an offer of employment to everyone on the HD. In short, we all get to keep our jobs at the same pay! WHEW! that was a relief.

The new company's HR dept has been doing orientation all week, and I finally had mine yesterday. As suspected, most of the bene's are actually better, but there is one area where they are a bit 'light', but I think it will balance out. So, as of midnight Sunday, I will have been officially relieved of duty by RCI. We all received our letters earlier this week, but it was kind of bizarre to have a 'pink slip' without having a guarantee of any future employment. Which, by the way, I do have now. So at the least, barring any unforseen screw-ups by yours truly, I am guaranteed employment at my current wage through at least 2006. Tasty.

An unexpected bonus of all this is that RCI, since they are in essence firing me, has to pay out my remaining leave and sick leave. Which is absolutely hilarious to me because they never wanted to give us sick leave in the first place! The only reason, imo, they finally broke down after 9.5 years (They had the contract 2 years before I showed up) and gave it up was in a too-little, too-late effort to show the client that they really did like their Norman employees. So for them to have to pay me cold, hard cash-money for each and every one of the whopping 20 hours of SL they advanced me is the sweetest kind of poetic justice. Sick Leave had been a strong bone of contention for several years because the company insisted that we use our vacation hours to cover for sick days. The only exception to this was when Aimee an I had to drive back from NYC after 9-11 because the airports were all closed. (It took us 3 days I didn't plan on using to drive back, since Logan Int'l airport did not open up again until that Saturday. We were s'posed to fly out of Logan that Saturday, but MassPort estimated there were 25000 travelers stranded in or around Boston that they would have to get out before we could even try to get our seats back. But that is actually a different story for another time.) So you can see the type of 'extraordinary circumstances' it would take before they would let you use 'leave without pay' before you had burned up all your vacation time. It was even more unbelievable when the corporate big wigs would show up for the spring and fall meetings talking about record profits and winning all these new contracts, then in the same breath say that despite all that, they could still not afford to give out sick leave. I think it would have been better if they would have just come right out and said that we were a satellite office and as such they did not care if we lived or died as long as the client kept paying for the contract. At least then I could have appreciated their candor.

But look at me: wanking about the past instead of looking forward to the future. I really believe that these guys will be a good company to work for based on what I have seen so far. Dare I say I am actually excited about this? Yes, I shall. I am excited to be a part of what could be the next step for the HD. These guys have a lot of good ideas that would get our HD up to the level of most current HDs since we have been a bit behind on our structure and some of our technology. Heck, they even gave me a new shirt with the company logo right up front! RCI never even gave me a coffee mug. Punks.

If ever there were a time for a warning, this would be it. I have been debating whether I should do this topic or not, but I can't sit idly by any longer and pretend it does not happen. So, in the interest of making sure you are fully prepared I should tell you know I am going to take a trip to the dark side, where proper folk do not readily tread. If you are easily offended, or find tiolet humor boorish and unrefined, I highly suggest you pick any link from the list on the right and head there now.

Now then, those of you who've mustered your mettle, let's carry on. The building I work in is rather large in comparison to the number of employees who occupy it, and there are no less than 3 bathrooms within a 30 second walk from the HD. If I feel complelled to trot a bit further, I can then choose from 5 different facilities. On particulary audacious days, I could expand the list to as many as 12, but that is a true hike and the nature of our work dictates that I don't make 40 minute bathroom breaks habitual. The point here is that there are lots of places to take care of your business in our building.

Having to 'drop off the kids' while at work is one of life's more dread moments, but let's not pretend that it does not occur because we all know that it is not only natural, but necessary. But wouldn't life be so much better if you could just pop in the car, drive home, pick up your favorite book, magazine or gameboy and take care of your business in the familiar, secure confines of your own home? Needless to say, our employers would frown on this.

So the wc closest to HD is due south off the corridor that runs along the west side of the HD. Unfortunately for us, this is also a major thoroughfare. As such, this wc gets a lot of traffic, the majority of which is non-hd personnel. Apparently, at least one of its patrons makes a regular diet of roadkill that has been stuffed with limburger and onions then cooked in bile and washed down with stale beer. The stench rolling off that place is the kind that will burn your mucus membranes and water the eyes, and vehemently stick to your clothes just like cigarette smoke from a bar. It is foul to the Nth power. I start my shift at 2pm, so I'm guessing this wc must be the place where the infamous mad bomber feels the most comfortable dropping off his post-lunch package, because that pungent stench is still lingering like a bad beating when I arrive to start my day. Every day.

Common logic would dictate that one stay well clear of that particular wc, and I assure you I do. The fly in the ointment is that there is a 2'X2' vent in the bottom of the door which allows that fetid stench of internal decay out of its would-be containment zone and straight into that main thoroughfare for the whole world to enjoy! Whoever thought that was a good idea should be taken out back and soundly caned.

The only thing worse than the smell is the condition of the stall after the air is once again safe for breathing. I will not subject you to the brutal description of the carnage left in that poor, abused stall, but it should suffice to say that whoever is doing this must be in a great deal of intestinal distress and should probably seek out a physician as soon as possible. So here's the point: with all those bathrooms to chose from, wouldn't it be much more considerate of your co-workers (and the Geneva Convention for that matter) to chose the one farthest away from a densely populated area before launching a biological weapons attack?

Perhaps I shouldn't have shared that, but I think you guys are tough enough and it has been grating me for some time now so I had to get it out. Look on the bright side: at least you know which bathroom to avoid when you come visit!

I just took a few minutes to e-mail both OK senators regarding S659. S659 is a good senate bill which would eliminate future frivolous lawsuits filed against firearm manufacturers by stoopids who apparently believe that somehow suing Sturm and Ruger will stop the illegal use of their firearms. I swear, I just can not fathom the logic behind that.

But that is only half the story. I also decided to do a quick check-up on the current state of things with regards to the assault weapons ban. Turns out that Mr. Lautenberg has already, as of July last year as a matter of fact, introduced the legislation to renew and extend the awb. He gives it the catchy title of: Assault Weapons Ban and Law Enforcement Protection Act of 2003. After a quick scan of the text, I note two things of great concern: 1) this is the apparently the new and improved version which goes even further to erode your second amendment right. 2) There is not one single word that I can find that could be presumed to be taking any steps at all to protect, or even assist, law enforcement personnel. I could literally scream at this point. Did you see how he did that? He worded the title so it sounds like he is throwing law enforcement a bone, but there isn't one! And, if you are against this bill, then it is only logical that you are against 'law enforcement protection'. Dude must be part lawyer!

Furthermore, it appears that this bill would make it illegal for me to sell you a semi-automatic firearm without including a FFL holder, or being a FFL holder. Now they want to regulate private sales? Where does this stop?

According to the CDC, "During 1993--1998, an estimated average of 115,000 firearm-related injuries (including 35,200 fatal and 79,400 nonfatal injuries) occurred annually in the United States." (1) If you continue to read the report, you will see that it is "the second leading cause of injury death in the United States after motor-vehicle--related deaths". If that is the case, why hasn't The Peoples Republic of California banned cars? Or to make the question more pertinent, why haven't they banned the cars responsible for the most fatalities? Isn't that the supposed premise of all this banning of firearms? I tell you I could just freaking spew. California is one of the most restrictive states in the Union when it comes to firearm regulations and do you really think it has helped one single police officer? No. I'll tell you why: people who break laws, break laws. People who obey laws, obey laws. The folks who are illegally carrying firearms or using them for illegal purposes are already breaking the law! Those of us who are law abiding citizens do what the law says until we can get the law changed. See how that works? Bad people do bad things with guns. And guess what: if you are a good person who does a bad thing with a gun, you are now a bad person. Period. If you 'accidentally' shoot someone then you should be just as incarcerated as those who did it on purpose. Those folks who want you to believe that just having a gun makes a normally 'good' person more likely to kill someone are just as ridiculous as those who think a woman who has been raped somehow 'asked for it' because she dressed or acted provocatively.

As a side note, there are no 'accidental' shootings, only unintentional. WordWeb (thanks to Dusty) provides this definition of accident: Anything that happens by chance without an apparent cause. Here's a news flash for ya: if you are pointing a gun at anything you do not plan on killing, destroying or at least putting a hole in, you are already out of the realm of accidental. I have been around and owned firearms all my life and I have never accidentally shot anything. Most folks who claim they 'accidentally' shot something ignored rule number one. And if you are one of those poor sots who blew off a pinky-toe cleaning a loaded weapon, I bet you won't make that mistake twice.

If one of your children does something bad with your firearm because you were negligent in securing that weapon then you should be charged right along with 'little Billy' because you are just as responsible as he is. Owning a firearm is a huge responsibility and if you aren't ready to step up and be an adult; do us all a favor and just don't. And one final plea: if you feel compelled to kill someone, please use a rock. Let's not give Sarah Brady and her ilk even one more reason.

WOOHOO! POTW #5 is up for your viewing enjoyment. This is the most complex setup to date, and I think the extra work shows. Or maybe I am biased, since I took it. Either way, click the link and enjoy.

One of these days, I might even make it out of the house with the camera and take a daytime shot.

Mardi Gras has come and gone, along with the Official Tour 3 Food Day. When last I left you, I was headed upstairs to heat up the crab bisque. There is a stove upstairs in the break room, but I don't like messing with it unless I absolutely have to. The burners heat up very slowly and I am sure they are way off, but I didn't feel that microwaving my soup was gonna cut it. The bisque was well received and Paul even mentioned he might prepare it for his wife. Justin thought ahead and put his etoufee in a crock pot to keep it nice and toasty warm. Good man.

By the time I got through the 'soup course' and the etoufee over rice, I was too full to get any of Rob's dutty rice, but it earned rave reviews from those who made room. I was very careful that I did not overeat this time. Last month, I overdid it and was miserable all night. 'All things in moderation' is a good idea, but when all that mouthwatering goodness is staring right back at ya, it is easy to get carried away.

The only questionable item on the menu was the king's cake. I've never had one of these before, but I am quite sure ours was not a prime example. I got the impression it should have been a leavened, ring-shaped cake with the traditional green, gold and purple frostings and colored sugars. Ours appeared as such, but was so dry that it took a serious amount of leverage to cut it. Imagine cutting through frozen ice cream. That's what it was like. I took one bite to try to get an idea of what the flavor was like, but it just didn't come through with all that dryness sucking the moisture out of my mouth like a pastry-shaped sponge. A sip of coffee did not help; all I could taste after that was coffee. Duh. The final insult was that the cake did not even contain a baby! I can't really say I understand this, but I was told the cake is supposed to contain a small plastic baby. Whoever is lucky enough to get the piece with the baby is the 'king of Mardi Gras' and wins the honor of hosting the subsequent year's party. Or at least that's how one story goes. I just read another that entials the finder of the baby will have good fortune throughout the year--and has to bring the cake next year. In any case, we can blame it all on La Baguette since they baked it. Unfortunately, Paul ran out of time and was unable to make it from scratch, so he went to what has always been a good, reputable bakery here in town who, sadly, let us down.

Oh well, it wasn't a tragedy or anything and as the title indiates, a good time was indeed had by all.

The rice is cooking, the etoufee is simmering and the HD, as well as the surrounding areas for that matter, are permeated with the distinctive aroma of white wine. I was informed that the etoufee is actually shrimp, not crawdaddy, but I doubt anyone will complain. I am getting ready to go warm up the bisque and before long, we will be getting down to bidness!

Those of you playing alone at home may recall that today is Mardi Gras and to celebrate we (on tour 3) are having a cajun/creole inspired pot luck dinner. Justin is making a crawdaddy etoufee, Rob is bringing the 'dutty' rice, Jason is s'posed to bring the steamer and make regular rice for the etoufee, Paul is supplying the king cake and yours truly is, even as I type, awash in the enticing, heady aroma of crab bisque. MMMMMM crab. Now I know bisque isn't cajun perse, but the roots are all French, and what is more French than a good bisque?

I'll let you know how it goes, but right now I have to stir the soup!

The Enterprise is a huge ship. So are all carriers, but the Enterpise is unique as it is in a class all by itself, figuratively and literally, and stands as the longest carrier (according to the Chief of Naval info) at ,1101 feet 2 inches. These ships have to be large not only to launch and land the aircraft, but also to carry the support crew (airwing and ship's company) and equipment needed to maintain those aircraft as well as food, fuel, medical supplies, ordnance, tools, support equipment, and all manner of sundries needed to run 4 full kitchens, all the department offices and let's not forget the beds and TVs. Oh yes, and let's not forget the Marines. Most real security issues were handled by a small Marine detail and those guys loved their jobs.

My first impression of the ship was the unbelievable scale of it. I know I keep harping on that but among all the other characteristics size is the true standout. The flight deck, where the aircraft take off and land, is approximately 5 acres. For reference, the average city block in Chicago (as well as most major cities, I imagine) is also 5 acres.

The second thing I noted was the amount of activity taking place. It takes a lot to get a ship of that size underway and the work continues around the clock. Most of the loud things, grinders, cranes, forklifts, etc. shut down at about 10pm, but the welding, wire pulling, cleaning and meal preparation continue 24-7.

There is a proud (read:no one likes it but the officers) Naval tradition refered to as 'manning the rails' which is exactly what it sounds like. When a ship is pulling out of port, sailors, in their dress uniforms, will literally stand at retaining rails of the deck of the ship. This is generally delegated to the junior personnel, as it is widely despised by the senior personnel. Moslty because you are standing at parade rest for at least an hour while the tugs maneuver the ship away from the dock, then who knows how long while the ship exits the harbor. When I was assigned to this duty (you knew that was coming, huh?) the only real complaint I had was getting up on the flight deck in dress whites. It goes without saying that the flight deck, or actually the ship in general, is no place for aything white, as it will soon be soiled with grease, hydraulic fluid, fuel or all manner of dirt, dust or grime in general. Anyway, I am up on the flight deck, taking in the sights and as we inch closer to the Golden Gate bridge, I notice a bunch of folks up there with signs. I figured it was more of the well-wishers and family members trying for one last glimpse of their loved one. I was wrong. It turns out they were eco-nazis who had a beef with the USN over nuclear power and the things that sometimes leak out of ships at sea. They were yelling, screaming and generally raising a rucus when one of them dropped a softball off the bridge! The flight deck is about 100 feet from the surface of the water, but that ball still fell far enough that when it hit the deck, it bounced at least 40 feet back up in the air. Fortunately it continued uneventfully off the deck, but I am quite sure if one of us had sustained a direct hit, the supposedly 'peacful' protesters would have been charged with murder. How ironic is that? 'Save the environment, but don't worry about whether or not we kill anyone in the process.' Once we were pretty well out of San Fran Bay, they turned the speed up a notch and pulled us all off the flight deck so we could prapare to land the aircraft.

A carrier landing, aka 'arrested' landing is one of the all-time coolest things I have seen, just slightly behind the carrier launch, aka cat shot. The mechanisms by which aircraft are launched and recovered are dead simple: big hooks and cables. All carrier aircraft have a giant hook under the tail section and a launch bar on the front landing gear. When the aircraft is approaching the landing area, the pilot lowers the hook and aims it for a huge cable (one of 4, usually) strung across the deck, hoping that he will catch it and the aircraft will be slowed to a stop before going off the other end of the ship. Missing the wire, called 'boltering' is common and not really that dangerous since the aircraft already has enough speed to sustain flight. When they do catch a wire, it is highly desirable that the landing gear is on the deck at the same time, othewise the cable will jerk the plane clean out of the air. This only rarely happens. Usually, the main landing gear hits the deck just a fraction of a second before the tailhook catches the wire. Just as that occurs, the front gear will touch down and the cable snaps taught, pulling the plane to a halt in just under 400 feet. All the forces generated by this rapid stop cause the pilot's hand to slam the throttle to military thrust, so just as the plane comes to a stop, it is literally shaking and straining against the wire with all 34000lbs of thrust. If you happen to be at just the right place on the deck when this happens, the sound waves generated by those engines will actually rattle your teeth and cause your internal organs to vibrate. It is, to this day, the most powerful thing I have experienced. So much so that I had to move myself to a different part of the deck on the next landing.

Now I can't actually remember the name of the tattoo shop we visited. I want to say it was Paul's, but that may have been one outside of Memphis where I got my first tattoo. I know it was on Webster St, as were most of the places we frequented over the next 3 days. A quick check of superpages.com however, shows that the only tattoo joint on Webster, or in Alameda at all is called Ricky's. So I guess we'll call it Ricky's.

Ricky's was in the upstairs portion of what appeared to be a converted two-story house, but still maintained the appearance of a perfectly legitimate tattoo shop. Page upon page of flash were plastered on the walls, there were books of it all over the glass display case which held the body jewelry and various paraphernalia including the obligatory tattoo guns, ink, supplies and of course the latest copies of Tattoo and Easy Rider magazines. Then there was the smell. Each and every ink shop I have ever visited smelled exactly the same, in much the same way as a doctor's or dentist's office. It is kind of a mix of bleach, rubbing alcohol and the strange smell of antiobiotic ointments that opens the sinuses and lets you know in no uncertain terms where you are.

I got my first tattoo while in 'A' school outside of Memphis TN. When I decided to get it, I set three rules for myself: No Tasmanian Devils; there were at least 300,000 sailors who had one already. No women's names, for obvious reasons and nothing Navy related or inspired which was kind of ironic in itself, since it is a fair bet I would not have gotten any tattoos had I not been in the Navy, since tattooing is still illegal in OK. You already know where I got the first and second, and the third and fourth were both added while in the Phillipines. See a trend? All places I went while on active duty.

Strange coincidence about the third tattoo: if you have ever seen An Officer and a Gentlemen there is a scene where the young Zack Mayo is wandering the streets of Olongopo. He sees a man getting a huge eagle (if I remember correctly) tattooed the 'old' way on his back. That is the studio where I got my third tattoo and you have no idea how happy I was that they had switched to using the electric gun shortly before we pulled into port. It was called Dom David's Tattoo Studio and the guy who did mine, Don, was the nephew of the original owner who was the artist in the film. The movie stills of that scene were randomly mixed in with the flash and they were very proud of their claim to fame. For me, the most memorable event in that studio was when the work was finished, Don very quickly and smartly smacked the just-finished tattoo to 'christen' it, in the same fashion as a ship-naming, only there was no champagne in sight. For those unfamiliar with the process, a tattoo is made when colored inks are injected through the skin into the sub-dermal tissues using needles of varying widths. Needless to say, after a half-hour of this 'injecting', which effectively renders your skin the human equivalent of ground beef, a smack across the wound is the last thing I was expecting.

The fourth and final tattoo was actually an add-on to the second one, so there isn't any real physical distinction outside of the fact it was done almost a year later. Everything else about the experience was exactly the same. I am happy to say I stuck to my rules and to this day have not regretted getting any of them.

The 19th was our boy Keith's birthday. (Yes, I know I had it as the 17th, but my calendar was marked wrong. Sorry Keith!) If you see him, wish him your best. Keith and I are the same age and that got me to thinking. That and Jefe's continuing narrative of Burning Man. (By the way, the section BM17, has got to be the closest thing to perfect literature I have ever read and if you don't go there right now and read it, then you will be seriously remiss. Pay particular attention to the paragraph which starts Then people started coming up and dancing...)

Reading this BM account has gotten me thinking that maybe my 'adventures' are, for the most part, over. I pride myself on being the 'safe' guy in the bunch, which is to say that I am fairly certain that I will not be spending a week partying in the desert with a large group of Artists, with a big A, (nod to Jefe) no matter how much that little voice in the back of my mind says 'You know, it might be....'

This is not to say that I haven't had my share of adventures. As a matter of fact, that is precisely the reason I joined the Navy after high school--so I could get out and see some of this world aside from my tiny patch of grass here in central OK. After boot camp, I purposely signed up for sea duty so I would not be stuck in one place for 4 years. Quite accidentally, I ended up in Strike Fighter Squadron 22 which was permanently stationed in Lemoore, CA and deployed aboard the USS Enterprise. I had originally wanted to work on the EA-6B Prowler, which is one scary piece of hardware, but I accidentally chose the wrong type of squadron when I was filling out my orders and ended up working on the A-7E Corsair II. Later, we traded in the Corsair for the F/A-18C Night Attack Hornet. Had I gotten it right, I would have been stationed in Whidbey Island, WA. No real matter for concern however, I was still going to be on sea duty, which meant overseas travel and that is what I signed up for in the first place.

Getting back on track here, I would soon enough find out that an aircraft carrier is actually an adventure all on its own before you even step off the gangplank.

It is, unfortunately, impossible for me to convey to you the true immensity of a carrier in words. It simply must been seen and experienced. I can give you the dimensions and the weight, tell you how many acres of steel are on the flight deck, how many aircraft and personnel it can carry, but those descriptions will all fail. Miserably. It is kind of like the Grand Canyon. I can show you the pictures of Aimee and me standing on the west rim, but it just does not, nor will it ever be able to accurately convey the sheer size and scale of it all. The common analogy for a carrier is a small floating town with its own airport. Actually both of the carriers I served on were approximately twice the population of my hometown at the time. Big is an understatement.

My first time out was on the Enterprise, and we were slated for a world cruise as opposed to a western Pacific (westpac) tour. The Enterprise was scheduled for a 4 year drydock in Newport News VA when we were done with her, and there she would stay. The USS Abraham Lincoln was just being finished (or so we thought) and they would bring her around the horn of South America to settle in on the west coast. I had missed the series of 'practice runs' they call work-ups because I was finishing up school for the A-7E, so when I checked into the squadron, I had 4 weeks to get my ducks in a row before setting sail for 6 tasty months.

Being single, naive, 19, and very excited about the prospect of getting to do what I signed up for, I am quite sure I annoyed the living crap out of all the guys who had done this many times before, and would rather not have been leaving their wives and children for 6 long months. I, unlike them, was looking forward to the boat pulling out of the harbor and they would not be dampening my spirits.

I don't really remember arriving in Alameda CA, where the Enterprise was docked. I remember watching the semi with all of our gear, that we would catch up with 3 days later, roll out of the hangar. Then it is a bit fuzzy, probably from excitment, and finally I am on the pier seeing the ship for the first time, noting that it took a full 5 minutes to walk from the fantail (end) of the boat to the gangplank which is mid-ship. 5 minutes. Then, it is time to on-load the gear we sent 3 days earlier. Single guys were always sent ahead to on-load so the married guys could spend those last precious 72 hours with the wife and kids. On the plus side, that gave us single guys 72 hours to explore Alameda CA. Since this was my first trip to the west coast, I was eager to explore, and had the benefit of the experience of the two senior airmen in my shop to rely on. First order of business: get another tattoo!

FOXNews.com - Foxlife - Marilyn Manson Settles Civil Suit

Hmmm. I wonder what the current settlement price actually is for gyration. It's a mad, mad world.

Man, what a year this is going to be for movies. I really do love movies, despite the boneheads who make them. I have finally had to accept the notion that just because I feel the writer/director/actor/etc. is a super-liberal socialist-minded gun-hating eco-nazi (or whatever) does not mean that their art will be somehow flawed. Anyway, as I said, I love movies. Which means that this year is going to be absolutely atrocious for movie fans. I have already dubbed 2004: The Year of the Sequel!

We discuss a lot of topics at work, but one we always come back to is movies. As a result, we end up discussing the movies' unavoidable side effect, the sequel, almost as frequently. I am pretty much of the opinion that with 2 exceptions, sequels have never ever lived up to the hype, nevermind the movie it follows. This is why I was so discouraged to see the vast number of follow-ups when looking over IMDB this weekend. Here it is February, and they have already released Barbershop 2: Back in Business. I personally have not seen either one of these, as they have not been on the HBO yet. (Most folks who know me already know that Aimee and I are boycotting theaters in general because they mostly suck at night. Mostly). Seriously, in the last 3 years, I can remember exactly 4 movies for which we have braved the cologne-soaked teenagers, blown subs, endless cell phones, talkative patrons and of course, the obligatory sticky floors that have become the contemporary 'ultra-mega cineplex' experience. If you are curious, the films are all 3 of the LOTR movies and Matchstick Men. But I digress, The Year of the Sequel has some real gems in store for us such as: Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. There is a silver lining to that cloud o doom though: No Jennifer Grey! Also slated for release are Spiderman 2, Club Dread, Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London, The Whole Ten Yards, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Shrek 2, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, The Chronicles of Riddick, The Bourne Supremacy, Alien vs. Predator, The Princess Diaries 2, Blade: Trinity, Anocondas: The Hunt for the Black Orchid, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, and Son of the Mask. And that only gets us up through October and is only the major studio releases. Although I can't really think of an indie company doing a sequel. That would be kind of an oxymoron, I think.

Now there are some of these that I will actually see, but others I have to wonder just what the fudge these studios are thinking? Come on, a second Anaconda movie? Son of the Mask? Please, if anyone in hollywood is listening. Stop. Just stop. Give us decent movies again, and quit betting your production dollars on lame follow-ups based on name recognition or star power alone. No actor, no matter how good, can carry an entire film that is badly written, poorly directed or produced half-way. The Thin Red Line should have been proof of that. Or how about Magnolia? Ooops, I forgot. Aimee and I were the only ones in America who thought that was a stinker, despite an ensamble cast and a great writer.

By now, you may be wondering what I do consider a good movie. For those curious, I offer the following cinematic sugestions:
Lola Rennt (Released in the US as 'Run Lola Run') German film, good stuff, but a bit short
Der Krieger und die Kaiserin ('The Princess and the Warror') from the same folks who made Lola
Amelie. French, but hilarious. One of my fav's in spite of the 'chick flick' label. Rent it.
The Straight Story. The only Lynch film I have ever enjoyed. Different and very good.
The Fifth Element. Tasty eye candy with no heavy plot to get in the way of the fun.
An American Werewolf in London. Classic horror. Griffin Dunne is a riot.
and of course
Saving Private Ryan. I can't explain it. I just love that movie. I have watched it, or parts of it at least a dozen times now and it keeps getting better every time I see it!

So there it is. I have finally gotten that out of my system. I have been wanking about the sad state of hollywood for some time now so this post was only a matter of time and hopefully some of those bigwigs are reading and they have an epiphany. Yeah, right. Oh yeah, the two exceptions to the sequel rule? Simple. Aliens and The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.

To clear up any confusion that may result from people noting the post time on the following three posts, I need to let you know that those were written at work on the Visor, and I have just now had the opportunity to post them. Which explains why in Democrats Unite! I refer to the polls closing in about 3.5 hours. Obviously, they have been closed for some time now.

I write those on the Visor because I decided when I started this that I would not post from the 'work' computer during my work hours. Sure, I have corrected a few obvious typeos, and I am pretty sure I busted off a quick 'blog this' post, but I won't be sitting down and doing a real post except on breaks and only on the Visor. Don't want any bad things to happen because I ignored Dr. Spengler's sage advice and 'crossed the streams'.

Incidentally, did you know that the google toolbar will allow you to do a quick post on any page you are viewing? Super handy. Just turn on the 'blog this' accessory under 'options' on your google toolbar and then hit that little orange-n-white B when you are on a page you want to share with a quickness. Good stuff.

I think it is now time for John Edwards and Howard Dean to swallow their pride and just concede to the juggernaut that is John Kerry. As I type this, the Wisconsin polls are still about 3.5 hours from closing, but I have neither read nor heard anything that would indicate anything other than a another JK victory.

Dean is still saying that he will not give it up even if he loses Wisconsin. What can be the point of all that? I would think if he was serious about getting Bushy Bushy out of the White House, he would take a long hard look at his chances of winning the nomination, arrive at the only, imo, logical conclusion and put his support behind the 'Kerry Machine'. Dean's own campaign chairman has already left and there are rumors that he would join the Kerry camp.

So then why is it that I, an unabashed Republican, want the Democrats to unite behind Kerry? I will tell you: I want the bickering for the Dem candidate to be over so we can get on with the business of the two real choices debating the issues so that everyone will be absolutely clear on where their man stands come November. Also, I personally need to know if Bushy Bushy is going to be the person I actually vote for.

Yes, I recall earlier when I said I agree with 99% of what he is all about, but in the really real world, I too am beginning to wonder if I can endorse the Bush plan for the next 4, when in reality I have no idea what it actually is. Hence, the desire to get the Dem candidate and Bushy in the ring, so to speak, and see what he has to say about the 'issues'. Must be all the liberal Democrats I am surrounded by at work.

More information is coming in about our new employers. Looks like we are going to have mostly better benefits, with a few exceptions when compared to our previous benefits package.

Once again, I am sure there will be more to come.

It is now official. As of March 1, I no longer work for RCI. Allow me to provide a bit of background:

I am currently an employee of Resource Consultants, Inc. (RCI) They have had the contract I work on for the last 10 years. Most people thought they were a shoe-in to get it this time, howver things obviously did not go their way. Strangely enough there are a lot of peole who are very happy about this, despite the looming uncertainty ahead. To say there is some bad blood between RCI mgmt and some of the folks in this building would be an understatement at best, but I will withhold all of the mudslinging until after the contract has expired to make absolutely sure that we are 'in the clear' to speak freely.

Not to worry though, the contract is not over, RCI just won't have it any longer. It was won by a company called Orkand. I know absolutely nothing about them, other than they are the ones who currently hold the contract for a similar hd in a different state, which is really how they landed this one.

I guess we'll have to wait and see how things develop.

eBay item 2226046639 (Ends Feb-18-04 13:16:37 PST) - Colored Black Spongebob Valentine Misprint

Sakes alive! What did I tell you? I knew that these would be hot items. (He said with a healthy dose of sarcasm). I can't wait to see how much this auction goes for. For those curious, no, this is not my auction. I will hold out on listing mine until they are routinely going into the hundreds! (Insert maniacal laughter here).

I finally got some decent, albeit quick, pictures of the completed paint job. I say quick because I just did not feel like dragging out the light stands and soft box. So, they were all shot on the tripod using long exposures to compensate for the general soft light. So, if you want to look at them all you have to do is go to the PAINT page and bask in their warm hued choclatey goodness.

Astute observers will note the masking tape on the deadbolt and doorknob. The door will also be painted the darker of the two browns at some point in the near future.

Yes indeed, POTW #4 is up for your viewing enjoyment. Yes, it has been longer than a week but I work on those when the bug hits me.

AN UN-FUNNY VALENTINE: Greeting card picture evokes race stereotype

After reading this article in the wee hours of the morning, I absolutely had to know: Was my WM carrying the offending Sponge Bob-in-blackface valentine? Yes friends, I actually got dressed and drove to the wm at about 5:30 this morning, before going to bed, for the sole purpose of trying to lay my hands on one of these most un-PC of valentines.

But before I tell you more, I feel I should mention that we could have had the absolute best POTW ever if I had only been carrying a camera. For some odd reason, the guy who stocks the meat dept at our wm was wearing a cardboard box. Yes. A Box. The thing was about 3.5 feet tall and about 2 feet square. He had put it on like an overcoat, cutting square holes in the sides for his arms, and one in the front for his face. The 'piece de resistance' however, was his ball cap stapled to the top of the box. Imagine how that looked: A 6foot tall cardboard box with jeans, t-shirt and a ball cap stocking the Oscar Meyer and Carl Buddig meat products at 5:30. Surreal.

So back to blackface Sponge Bob. I get to the seasonal aisle and start scouring the shelves for the Nickelodeon '34 foil valentine' pack for $2.74. YES! I found them, but the box, unlike the Scooby-Doo valentines, has no window for me to see if this box will contain the desired ephemera. The suspense was almost too much, but I managed to get them home without tearing the box open. But Aimee could not wait and she tore open the box like it was Christmas. My high spirits fell when I was able to see the first of the valentines featuring Sponge Bob, whicn was printed with all the yellow in all the right places. Diligently, we kept digging until finally, at the bottom of the stack, there it was! Happy Happy, Joy Joy.

15 years ago, this would have been dismissed as a printing mistake and nothing else, and folks would have gone about their business. However, in this day and age of PC run amok, I fully expect this card to become somewhat of an 'anti' collector's item, eventually fetching prices in whole dollars on ebay (cause we all know you can sell anything on ebay). Surely at some point the ACLU will be calling for Nickelodeon and wm to apologize to all the innocent victims for their obvious racial insensitivity and hate-mongering. I am suprised that Jessee Jackson or Al Sharpton has not started picketing the Nick studios. Looking at the valentine again, I can almost count the money! The card, by the way, will be available for private viewing by appointment only.

The Norman Transcript

I think the folks at PETA must be supplimenting thier meat-free diets with lots and lots of drugs. I grew up just east of Slaughterville, and, as the article points out, never saw one slaughterhouse. Silly PETA.

FOXNews.com - Foxlife - Barbie and Ken: It's Over

I always thought Ken was different than the other male 'action' figures. Mattel is denying it, but you and I know the truth.

OH! I found it. Look here for proof of Ken's earlier attempts at coming out!

That is it! I have officially had it with this Janet Jackson boob thing. It seems that we can't go 15 minutes without hearing about it. Even as I sit here, NPR is yet again flailing me with another vapid report. Egad people, it was just a boob!

Granted, the law currently says 'you can't do that on television' but it was just a boob.

You see, I am of the opinion that if people were not afraid of nudity, then it would not be an issue. The human body is a beautiful thing. Just look at any work by Michelangelo and you can see what I mean. I think the real issue here is that our society has stigmatized nudity to the point that people think it is dirty, immoral and the mere sight of a stray breast will somehow corrupt you, turn you into a bad person, and put you on the fast track to eternal damnation.

I have done a bit of traveling in my day, and I have noticed that this country; my country is the only one I have personally visited that has this hangup with the nudity. When I was working at the Royal B, the owner, who was from Germany, commented to me that the USA makes this an issue by stimagizing it the way we do. He went on to say that in Gemany (as well as Europe in general) they are much, much more relaxed than here. So much more so that no one even raises an eyebrow at the sight of a naked model on the cover of nationally published magazines. As he put it, the only people who are 'excited' by the nudity are "perverts and little peckers"

Don't get me wrong, I am not advocating 'all porn, all the time' on regular broadcast TV, but I fail to see the evil in nudity on television so long as it is in keeping with the program's storyline and the appropriate ratings are provided. Perhaps something similar to the type you see on cable at the beginning of their programming. The only obvious flaw in this type of arrangement is the kind of lame crap those two pulled during the half-time show. But I still have to wonder: if the USA took a more 'international' view towards the beauty of the human body, would this stunt have even been an issue?

Vietnam Veterans Against John Kerry

Here's an intersting bit I found while researching a rumor about Sen. John Kerry.

You ever wonder why all things in life don't have expiration dates? Milk does. Eggs do. Even canned goods have a tiny ink-jet-sprayed lot and date code to let you know when 'enough is enough' and it is time to bid them adieu. Keith and I have discussed this at length and over many beers. I am quite sure it was even his original concept, however I still find myself rethinking why all things in life don't have expiration dates to save us the fashion or musical equivalent of drinking the dreaded expired milk!

If you recall my earlier rant on the WM observational field trip, and actually kept it in mind on your last outing to wm, or wherever you shop, you probably noticed several people wearing clothes or sporting coiffures that are decidedly past their expiration dates. I see them everywhere. Perhaps I should take pause to inform all that I am purposely not 'fashion forward', nor will I be wearing the latest runway rags from Milan, Paris or NYC. In addition, because of the 'Portuguese Curse', I am actually quite limited in what hair style I can wear without causing raucous laughter or dredging up repressed high-school memories of afros and bad haircuts. All that said, even I can appreciate that the mullet's time has come and gone, as well as 'pegged' (we may also include bleached, torn, patched and/or embroidered) jeans, any high-top sneakers left unlaced with the tongue flopping about (a-la Robert Smith) the giant-handled mullet comb jutting defiantly out of a back pocket and anything in plaid flannel worn for any reason other than warmth. Think about it for a minute. You've seen them. They are in the mall, the restaurants, even in traffic. Wait...was that AC~DC coming out of their tape deck? So why, then, are these clothes, etc. still out there?

Now I am not poking fun. Well, actually I am, but I think the answer is this: building on Keith's original hypothesis, Aimee and I have arrived at a similar observation/conclusion: The way people groom themselves is a snapshot of the happiest time of their lives. Seriously. We have seen it time and time again. People will dress the same way and get exactly the same haircut for 15 years. They will even listen to the same music. It is as if they want to capture that era for the rest of their lives. This is apparently very basic to all human beings and I'm sure there must be a clinical name for it, but since I ain't one of those 'hifalutin, book-learned folk' I just don't know it. Although to this day, if I smell patchouli I recall the house on 36th where I first had the pleasure of meeting Jefe and the displeasure of putting up with Janiece's drunken escapades. Same thing with music. If I hear a guns-n-roses song, I immediately think "what the heck was I thinking when I bought that casette!", which is followed by fond memories of senior year in high school. This reaction is the basis of our theory. I am sure you can think of a few good examples. I bet there are a few people reading who can even equate this to beers/wines/whiskeys or recreational drugs.

So then, if we put expiration dates on clothing and music and even train barbers and stylists to throw out the hair style magazines from 1982, will that bring all of these people kicking and screaming into the here and now therefore causing them to be at once living the happiest time of their lives?

It would seem Aimee and I are not the only ones who think this. Just check out any episode of BBCAmerica's what not to wear or the American rip-off (coincidentally called) what not to wear on TLC. One of the most frequent reasons people nominate their friends/family for that show is to get them 'into the present' and out of those old rags from (fill in the blank here).

As they say, 'change starts at home' so Aimee has made darn sure that all my 'expired' wardrobe items are gone and we try, at least twice a year (before putting away the winter or summer clothes) to get the old stuff out and down to the charity or the skip depending on the conditon of said items. This is a great way to make closet space and let's face it: if you haven't worn it in a year, you are probably not going to wear it at all. And yes, Robert, I know that this is all coming from a guy who has a man-bag. Sure, call it a backpack, duffle, briefcase or even (as my brother called it) a European carry-all but if you have a bag- that you put stuff in- and carry it with you, you too have a man-bag and as far as I know, they are alwaysin style. How else are you going to carry your MD?

Well Aimee reviewed the pictures of the kitchen/dining area and promptly informed me that they are not up to snuff (there was clutter in them) and just would not do. So those are on hold. Shouldn't be much longer. I finished laying out the final grid not 1/2 hour ago and Aimee is painting even as I type.

Good news today! My stowaway keyboard (to go with my visor edge) has finally arrived. I have been digging on this folding keyboard for quite some time, but always thought it daft to drop a C-note on the keyboard when I only paid $125 on the handheld. So I started scouring ebay shortly after I got the visor (about a year ago). They were going for about 30-60 smacks at the time, depending on how bad the other bidder wanted it, which is always the case with ebay. So I waited 6 months or so. They were down to about 40 on the high side, 20 on the low. Still decided to wait longer, and for quite some time I actually forgot about it. Two weeks ago I decided to check on it again. They are now routinely hitting the 20 and 25 dollar mark, so I figured I would keep an eye out. This thing super-gadgety (and I loves some gadgets) but not at all a 'need' item. Anyhow, I am cruising the auctions and not seeing much that really interest me, so I decide to do a search for the model number instead of the standard 'title' search. Sure enough, someone has listed one (and only one) by model number! I couldn't believe that there was only one sentence in the entire listing that even mentioned the visor edge. I decided this was the one. Now when these things first came out, the MSRP was $99 bucks. The last time I saw one at Best Buy, it was $99 bucks. Because of this listing's flaw, I was able to win the bid for a whopping 99 cents. Yes, that's right 1/100th the original retail price! I practically had a cow. (Which is kind of sad really when I realized exactly how little it takes to make me smile these days). So I send the payment, it takes a full week to get there, she cashes it, waits 4 days to mail my keyboard and here we are now. I have a shiny new gadget, she has $6.85 (don't forget shipping) and everyone is happy. Finally. Probably the most useful aspect will be that I can bust off a quick idea for a blog or a recipie when it hits me. Grafitti is great for just entering notes, but not really the best way to do extended sessions of entering data. Who knows, maybe i'll start that novel while on break at work.

In a very sad turn of events, there was no trip to the range Saturday. I got up, called Rob only to find out that he had forgotten all about a family gig he had to attend, and would not be able to make it.

The weekend was not a total loss, however. I was able to purchase a new handgun, or perhaps more accurately, 'mousegun'. This little revolver has to be one of the coolest pieces of gear since the original single-action army. Small, and I mean small, all stainless construction, easy single action operation and ultimate reliability. What more can you ask of a firearm? Well obviously capacity and cailber, but hey, this is a hide-out gun after all, not a duty sidearm. This is actually my Valentine's gift, only a bit early, so thanks are due to my lovely and intelligent wife.

Can you believe we are still painting? Oh yes. We have finished the kitchen/dining area as noted earlier, but there is a wall by the entry way that is 'visually' the same wall as the dining area so it will be getting the same harlequin treatment. We put down the basecoat today and will lay out the grid and paint again tomorrow night. This time should go much smoother since we have our plotting down to a science. I have taken the pictures of what we have finished and should have those up later today/tonight.

And in a final note from this weekend, we have finally decided which HDTV we are going to plunk down an insanely criminal amount of money for. We had done all the research, printed out all the reviews from consumer reports, and educated ourselves on the many subtle nuances of HDTVs available today. Unfortunately, all of that was for naught when we went and looked at the sets in the stores. We had originally decided on rear projection instead of LCD or plasma. LCD is still too grainy for my taste, and the plasma is waaaaaay to expensive for a technology that has not been, imo, perfected. Anyhow, we are at the store checking out the sets, but most of the ones we wanted to look at had this super annoying protective screen over the real 'screen'. The problem is that even on the anit-glare screens, they still had glare! Why would these people put out these sets asking the money they do, then expect us to deal with glare? STOOPID! For that money, they should not only be perfect in every respect, but also come with a free year subscription to any movie service you want. But that is not the case. Since Aimee and I have decided that we are just not 'into' the whole theatre experience (stinky teenagers, talking patrons, bad focus, blown sub's, etc.) there is no reason we should put up with a bad image at home. So, to sum it up, we are now going to be saving up a lot of money for the Samsung DLP 56". It was the absolute sharpest (non-plasma) there, relatively light since it does not use standard cathode ray tubes to generate the image, has no burn-in worries and is a 'table top' model so there is no huge cabinet underneath the screen. But....this is still months off because we have, as noted earlier, decided to save for the set rather than take a giant step into credit hell. Now I just have to figure out how I am going to add another cable jack since the rocket scientists who built this house only put one in the entire living room. Dorks.

Man, what a strange week! Work has been extra weird. Here's an example: Tuesday, a woman called to see if the Northern Connecticut office was located in Texas. To steal one from Jeff, "You can't make this up, folks". In case you were wondering, yes the Northern Connecticut office is aptly named, as it is in Northern Connecticut. Then there is this guy in field maintenance whose name I genuinely can't remember, so we'll call him Jim. (Seriously, I can't remember his name, but because of the obvious legal ramifications I wouldn't use it even if I could.) Jim is...oh how to put it...not a very friendly person. About two weeks ago, he got sideways with two of my guys in less than 2 hours. Now it is not as if I can take him aside and have a talk with him. First off, I am a contractor and secondly, he is somewhere in southern California. My only recourse is to get with my local management and have them 'talk' with him. Unfortunately, my local mgmt, much like myself, is also not in southern California, so they have to call his local mgmt to get any action. Think about how much weight a 'phoned-in' butt-chewing actually carries. Exactly.

Last time, we got things all squared away and he was gentle as a summer breeze, mainly because my local mgmt guy had worked with his soCal supervisor at some point earlier in their careers. Apparently in the two weeks since, Jim has forgotten his manners, as he was up to his old tricks again tonight. He even managed to get sideways with one of our field technicians who is rarely, and I mean rarely rattled. The problem with tonight however, is that my local guy who handled the problem last time is skiing someplace with lots of snow, instead of just this annoying cold, blustery weather. (I love OK in January!) Fortunately, the problem kind of diffused itself when Jim realized we weren't joking when we told him the guy he really wanted to speak with had gone home for the day. I tell you, it is great to be a supervisor who is expected to have all the accountability and responsibility, with none of the (to quote Cartman) Author-itay! Oh well, I knew the job was dangerous when I took it.

In other work-related news, we have finally decided on a theme for this month's food day! Now I know, to the uninitiated this may sound simple enough, but allow me to provide a little background: Our work environment does not allow for us to take a 'lunch break' in the conventional sense. We, for better or worse, have all 'voted' to work a straight 8 with no lunch so that we can actually leave after 8 clock hours vice 8 clock hours with a 1 hour lunch. There are many reasons for this, but we are going to skip them and just say 'that is the way it is'. Also, this is a themed 'pot-luck' so whatever we decide on must be A) easy to prepare or re-heat in the office. B) Easy to transport to the office. C) Something we can all eat and D) Something that can be eaten without interrupting the ability to man the phones. There are 4 guys on my shift not counting me. The schedule works out that there are only 3 of them on duty during the week and 2 on the weekends. This does not allow all of us to be in the hd at the same time, hence we are always trying to decide what to eat while keeping in mind the wishes of the 'missing man'. You think I am joking? I suggest you go into any office-type work place and try to get all the people who are physically in the room to agree to 1 restaurant. Now imagine that just when 'Klaus' (who has the deciding vote, and is the finicky eater) in the corner cube is about to decide between Thai and Pizza, he gets stuck on a 45 minute conference call, because you do work on the hd, afterall.

Perhaps you are now starting to see why it takes a month to plan one night's fare. Keep in mind that this is supposed to be an event for us to enjoy as a group; to foster teamwork and mutual respect and...wait, you're not buying that either? Didn't think so. Seriously, we have all become good enough friends, that we genuinely don't want to leave anyone out, so just having a majority vote is not really an option.

So, without further hesitation, I give you: 'Food Night for February; A Cajun Delight'. Once Justin said it, I almost couldn't believe it was that simple. He says 'Tuesdays are best for me' (Justin is our weekend guy, who is off T, W and Th, so he has to come in on his time to participate). Then he adds 'Let's do it Fat Tuesday!' Can you say 'Gum-bo'? How about 'Andouille'? Sure you can!

To wrap the week on a truly happy note, we will be heading to the heated, indoor range tomorrow. Couldn't go last week, Rob was on-call. Not the week before that either; I was on-call. Looking back, how bad can a week really be that culminates with a trip to the range?

Added a link to Roving Gastronome which is a blog and a website (just add .com). The two are run by a friend of Jeff's called Zora. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Zora, and sadly, probably won't have the chance unless we head for NYC again, or she comes to visit Jefe. In any event, her blog is ripe with 'culinary adventures' and heavenly descriptions of tasty decadence. Seriously though, when was the last time you had the stones to host a party where a whole roasted pig and lamb were on the menu?

Once again it is that time. POTW 3 is now up for your enjoyment!

I started a post earlier in the evening, but couldn't finish it. My muse must have left me. So I decided on the next best thing: taking pictures.

I have added an archive to the POTW project. You can get to it from the current POTW.

Speaking of pictures, I should get some of the finished kitchen/dining area with fresh tasty paint and the shiny new kitchen light fixture posted very, very soon. We have been finished with everything but the cleaning for a couple of days now, so it will be soon, I promise. I never said we were speed painters.

Check out this page. This is the kind of stuff that absolutely boggles my mind. After reading some of those tidbits, I have decided that because I am half Portuguese, I am now officially offended that there is not enough positive portrayal in the media of the contributions to society the Portuguese have provided. After all, Chris Columbus was Portuguese. He only sailed under Spain's flag because they bankrolled the job. Wait! I am also offended that, as a 1/2 Portuguese man, I apparently don't qualify for any 'special' treatment with regard to anything. I can't even get tuition assistance for being 1/2 Portuguese. Come on man, even people with green hair get tuition assistance. Oh yeah, I am also offended that NO ONE recognizes the Portuguese flag on sight! Well, no one except maybe Nelly Furtado. I will sue, you insensitive media-types! Yeah....yeah. That's what I'll do! That's the ticket.

(I will add the link to the 'oddbits' section so you don't always have to go to this post to find it. btw, I reccomend bookmarking that one so you always have something to laugh, or cry, about)

The Oklahoma Primary is officially over. Actually it has been for sometime now, but you know what I mean. I actually got out and voted today, which was a bit like setting the parking brake on a car stuck in the mud. It's not going anywhere, but you just have to be sure. The dems had a very close race here, but it was a total blowout for Bushy Bushy. Bill Wyatt did manage to get 10% of the replubican vote however, which was more than I expected. So, the majority of the delagates will go to retired Gen. Wesley Clark and our current US President. Clark really worries me after checking on where he stands on my 'hot button' issues, but I just don't think he's going to be able to pull it off. I forsee Kerry running against Bushy in what will become a virtual carbon copy of 'Indecision 2000', to borrow a phrase from Jon Stewart. That's how I see it, but I have been wrong (many times) before. At this point, I really can't say who I beleive would win if it does turn out to be Bushy v. Kerry. There is still a whole lot of 'politickin' to be done before November and who can say what the world will present between now and then. You may note I have only mentioned the reps and dems so far. That is because OK has a 'closed primary' and the independents are just not invited to the party. This, in a round about way, will bring me to the topic o' the day.

Several of my friends are registered as independent. Now herein lies the rub: if you are an independent in this country today, your candidate will probably get about 8 to 10 percent of the popular vote come November and that is about it. Sad it may be, but the fact is that at this point in history, we have a two party system. Knowing this as you head to the polls, do you (as an independent) cast your vote for someone who has a legitimate chance at winning the thing; in essence picking the lesser of the two evils or do you vote your conscience effectively throwing away your vote? Think back to Nov 2000 and all of the stink that was raised by Nader 'stealing' all those dem votes from Al Gore, ultimately costing him the White House. Neither Gore nor Nader got elected, and Bushy moved to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, much to the chagrin of the Florida voters. Nate (one of my indy friends) and I discussed this for a bit today and he said to me that he was not sure if he could vote for Bushy this year or not. I asked if he had considered the alternatives, referring to the dem candidates. He said he had and, to paraphrase, the prospect of one of them getting in was far more disturbing than 4 more with Bushy at the helm. So I asked what he planned to do. He replied that it looked like he would have to find an indy candidate to get behind. I reminded him that this would, in essence, be throwing his vote away. He accepted this and reiterated that he just didnt' feel he could vote for Bushy so that is how it would have to be.

I gots to give Nate his props, but I am inclined to go the other route by voting for a candidate who has a legitimate chance of winning. Granted there is still a veritable eternity between now and November, politically speaking, and something could happen to change my mind but I seriously doubt it. Here's why: I absolutely abhore, with every fiber of my body mind and soul, the prospect of more asinine, useless, vacuous legislation regarding 'gun control'. To me, gun laws are about the same, logically, as legislatively restricting a certain type of car for being driven into a playground full of kids, instead of locking up the driver. It just doesn't compute. Anyhow, Bushy has let me down in that he is not 100% behind letting the awb sunset. I even heard a rumor that he thought it was a good thing. (I dared not research that one for fear of finding out that it is true). However almost every one of the dems is all about renewing the awb and even extending its reach. Carol Mosley Braun even went as far as to sponser a bill prohibiting concealed weapons (1). Thank God she is out! So for me, even tho Bushy is weak on an issue I consider important, all the other alternatives aren't really alternatives at all and are actually quite frightening in that respect.

So does one hitch his wagon to a winner, regardless of conscience, or stick to his proverbial guns despite the inevitable waste of his franchise? There's something to think about over the upcoming months.

FOXNews.com - Views - ifeminists - A Not Very Funny Valentine

Could someone give this woman a hug? Please?

I just got back from Wal-Mart. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but as most folks in this area will tell you it is an unavoidable thing. There used to be 4 grocery stores on this side of town within 5 minutes before the super center went up; then for a short time there were the 5. Now, there are two including the super center. Within 6 months of opening its doors, the super center ran out the Buy for Less. In actuality, I guess I can't blame that entirely on Wal-Mart (WM). The Albertson's was also finished just shortly before the WM, so I guess it was a double-whammy. Then the Pratt's cut their hours from 24-7 to 6 to midnight. Then it was 10-10. Now they are gone. Also gone is the Wright's IGA across the street from where Buy for Less was. So, in less than three years we have gone from 5 to 2. As an obvious result of this, the folks who were shopping at the other stores have, for the most part, moved their business to the WM super center. Those who shop at Albertson's for the most part have continued to shop at the Albertsons.

As I mentioned early, WM shopping is more unavoidable than desirable. Sure, I could afford to shop at Albertson's (who has also cut their hours, btw) but I just can't rationalize spending from .50 to $2.00 more for the same items we get at WM. As a result, we find ourselves at the WM quite frequently. Even more so now that it is literally a stone's throw away from the 'stead.

The point of all of this is that I hate feeling like I have to shop there, but when I do, I love the fact that I can get there in less than 5 minutes. Literally. However, since we shop there quite frequently now, I have noticed something: if everything comes together just right, it can be like a mini adventure through sociology. It is even actually kind of fun if you bring a walkman so in effect, you get sociology with a soundtrack! Sad? Yes, but you get your laughs where you can, right?

Arriving at the WM will give an indication of what type of trip it is going to be just by looking at the parking lot. It always causes me to chuckle when I see a 60 or 70K vehicle in the lot at the WM. Sure, the 30 and 40K soccer-mom piloted urban assault vehicles are everywhere, but when I see a Merc CLK or Hummer sitting on the lot I know it is going to be good times. I actually make an effort to go later in the night/early morning because 1) I work those hours and 2) there are far less customers do deal with. Sure the stockers are out but with the exception of one guy I call 'EDDIE' (because he always seems to be wearing an Iron Maiden concert T) they are a nice bunch and will even help you with your shopping. Back to the point, tho, there are generally about 3 types of folks in the WM at that hour. 1) people who do shift work, like myslef. 2) College kiddies. 3) The, for lack of a better term, freaks and geeks. I don't mean that in a derogatory sense, but these are the ones who have red or green hair, more hardware in their bodies than Ace and an exclusively black wardrobe. In my experience, these are almost always great people who are creative, expressive and just a bit misunderstood. A large portion of my friends back in the day fell into this group so I know they are generally good peeps. But, the larger part of the other two groups seldom know this, nor do they care to find out. So, the freaks and geeks generally tend to make the other two groups rather uncomfortable.

Now if you are going to take this stroll through sociology 101, you have to be very observant, so if you are in a big rush to get your shopping done, forget even trying. However, if you have time to be a bit more casual you can, I think, learn a lot about people in general. You will see, and hear, at least one child crying. This is apparently mandatory, and I think WM may be hiring families just for this purpose, even at 0300 cst. Watch closely how the parent reacts. You can tell right then what kind of person/parent they are. You will see many people agonzing over brand names, prices and whether or not the item on the shelf jives with what is on the list their spouse/significant other made for them. (This is usually me, btw). My friends have said I am anal, but I prefer to think of myself as 'thorough'. You should also be watching for the people who stop dead center in the middle of the aisle to have a conversation that they should obviously be having over dinner somewhere other than WM. I say you should be watching for them because if you are not, you may bash their ankles and be subject to a lawsuit from the liability lawyers if this person is a stoopid. But my all time personal favorite is the obnoxious man/woman who is making all kinds of racket complaining about the prices, while pulling two carts full of extraneous crap! You don't like the price on the keebler deluxe fudge grahams? Put them back. Now if you have a baby, and want to raise a ruckus about the price of baby food, diapers or fomula, which are necessity items, fine. Please, I beg you, don't make a scene wanking about the price of coca-cola as you are loading case after case into your cart. No one, contrary to popular belief, needs a coke. A few other things you may notice is that no one purposely makes eye contact. And if it does inadvertently occur, most folks will immediately turn the other way and pretend it didn't happen. And finally you can always tell what is up by scanning the items a person has chosen at the checkout. In high school we used to think it was funny to try to freak the checkers out by getting the most unbelievable combinations of stuff. The only thing is that being that young we didnt' realize that a) they didn't care, and b) they had already been desensitized to that kind of thing if they had been working there for more than 2 weeks. Silly us.

Yes, it is a love/hate thing, but it can be somewhat less painful and even educational if you have the proper frame of mind and a MD player.