big cliché

So far: two movies, one trip to Lexington, one to Purcell, mowed the lawn and put up a temporary brace on a broken fence post. Is this living or what? I am a freakin' jet setter, baby, and I still have the better part of two days off left! At this rate, I may darn some socks or polish all my silver.

Just finished watching Under The Tuscan Sun and we watched House of Sand and Fog, or as I like to call it: The feel-good movie of the year, Thursday night. I don't know what it is about Jennifer Connely, but it seems that she is only picking the most depressing roles she can find lately. I almost wonder if she is trying to balance out her rockstar/hollywood lifestyle by playing these morbidly depressing characters. Under The Tuscan Sun was quite good, surprisingly. It did not follow the now mandatory romantic comedy formula that has plagued us for the better part of 50 years. At one point, Aimee was laughing so hard, she was tearing up. Good stuff, unless you are still a member of the "He-Man Woman Haters' club", in which case you will undoubtedly refer to this one as a 'chick flick'.

I drove to Lex to move my sister's bed from Norman (occupational hazard of driving a full-size pickup) and as I was passing back through the town where I grew up, it occured to me: There is still only one stoplight in that town! I think I am going to have to stand at the top of the hill, overlooking that one stoplight, and get a shot of that. Heck, I may even do an entire photo essay on the town I called home. I also did some work on Dad's PC in exchange for lunch and 2 jars of their homemade cherry jelly as well as 1 of apricot. And when I say 'homemade' I mean they picked the fruit off their own trees and then proceeded to can the goods themselves.

The Purcell trip was to have dinner with Aim's folks. Meatloaf: one of my all time faves, and I'm not joking about that. What isn't to like about 2 pounds of ground beef oven-roasted to perfection?

Please, folks, don't try to keep up this pace yourselves. I can't be held responsible for any injuries if you do.

I love cooking. You all know this. Just as enjoyable, however, is coming across a good recipe. Whether it is handed down from Grandma, found in an obscure cookbook or given to you by a friend at work a good recipe can literally give years of enjoyment and continue to live on when it is again shared.

An obvious question is "Well, Wayne, if you love cooking so much, why aren't you a chef"?. Simple: I tried it and found that, like most things, when you have to start doing something for a living it takes the personal satisfaction right out of it.

About 10 years ago, shortly before Aimee and I were married, I took a job as an apprentice to a genuine, certified, straight-from-the-old-country German master chef--Andreas Gmiener. It was the dream job. At that time, I had been painting houses and was certainly ready for a serious change. I thought I would apprentice for a year or two, learn everything I could from Andy then get my recommendation to the CIA and be off! Working in a real kitchen before heading to NYC was the best thing that could have happened and was a real revelation.

Jumping right in with no formal training was easy enough. I didn't know any better and I was sure it was going to be a breeze. Come on, it's cooking right? I had no idea how much prep work goes into the menu for a medium-sized (for OKC) restaurant. Royal Bavaria is a standard Bavarian restaurant, or so I'm told, which means beef, pork, chicken and sausages. And lots of them. The owner was, and presumably still is, obsessed with authenticity and making everything absolutely possible from scratch.

Shortly after they canned one serious loser, Andy made me the head cook so I was responsible for the prep work and making sure the orders were done. I shared these responsibilities with Derek, and later Kelly (blatant shout-out to Kelly!) and for the most part, we did just fine. The troubles would start when we ran out of something, and it was always Wayne's fault. In reality most of the time it was, simply because I had miscalculated this or underestimated the demand for a that. Oh well, whatcha gonna do when they want everything made from scratch? It ain't like you can just open another can, right? But even when the produce delivery didn't make it, or the deli didn't come through with the sausages, somehow It was my fault. Not an outright "Wayne, you're an idiot" kind of thing, but much more subtle, like "if you had made mashed potatoes last night before we made the potato salad, we would have plenty for tonight". Never mind that we had a full meal to serve as well as marinate the sourbraten and make pork strips.

The better we became, the less time Andy spent in the kitchen. I suppose that is to be expected, but all of a sudden Wayne isn't getting any training and that wasn't what I signed on for. That is when I started looking for a way out.

About that time we had a death in the family. I drove to Fort Smith on my one day off, attended the viewing then drove back the same day because they needed me for Friday's dinner service. That was the worst mistake I have ever made in that respect and I will never do it again. The final straw was when one of our waiters took off 4 days for a funeral the very next month and the owner didn't say a word. And this wasn't someone he knew well, or even for a long time. It was the father of his stripper fiance who he had only know for 3 months! Now that I think about it, the actual singular event that drove me out of there was when the owner asked me to work a Friday on my vacation, then had the gall to lecture me when I didn't show up after I told him that I would not be showing up. The week after that, Derrel (blatant shout-out to Derrel!) and I started working door-to-door selling Kirby vacuums! Guess who had the last laugh on that one, HA!

All in all, it was a genuine learning experience and I did come away from that kitchen with some new skills and a much greater appreciation for what goes on in a full-service kitchen. Which is why I don't do it for a living today. Maybe someday I'll succumb to Justin's mad rants about opening a fine dining restaurant here in OKC. I'm sure OKC diners will pay top dollar for excellent food served at the correct temperature in a refined atmosphere. Oh wait a minute--this is the same city which voted Olive Garden 'best Italian' in the city. Sorry, Justin, I'll stay right where I am for now.

So then, in keeping with the title of the post, I offer up the two recipes I have mentioned on the cliché. Click the 'cliché recipes' permalink on the right and enjoy. Again, thanks go to Paul for the recipes and Zora for sending a research cookie recipe as well as turning me on to The Cook's Illustrated. (I'm still waiting for my first issue, ahem, if anyone from CI is reading.)

FOXNews.com - Politics - La. House Rejects 'Low-Rider' Pants Ban

duh.

Man o' man and sakes alive! Yesterday I get to work to find a small Mason jar on my desk filled with dried, ground spices simply labeled 'stuff and such 5-21-04'. Little did I know that jar was filled with culinary gold dust.

Later, I found out that this was Paul J's (aka the Bizcochito Bandito) famous Jamaican Jerk rub, and while he was making a batch at home last weekend he was considerate and thoughtful enough to set back a jar for yours truly.

The smell of that blend of spices is inexplicably delicious and heady. It is sweet, savory, pungent and spicy all at the same time and blends together like no other rub I have used or tasted. I knew I had to make something with it immediately, but what to make? Or more accurately, what to make that doesn't take 5 hours in a smoker? I chose thin-cut pork chops (pan fried) and I'm glad I did. Rather than describe the whole process to you, I will post the recipe as soon as Paul can get it to me, and you can experiment for yourselves. It is worth it and you will not be disappointed. I can't wait to try it on chicken and a whole pork-loin roast.

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com

It was a lovely service, but I coulnd't stop vomiting!

Thanks to Chris for sending this over.

Holy cow! How many times have we heard the name of this prison in the news over the last month? At least a thousand, and Bushy can't even get it right once? Just keep repeating "He's not Al Gore. He's not Al Gore!"

Have I mentioned I hate being on-call? I'm sure I have to some of you, so to the rest, you may now consider yourselves notified. The thing that sucks most about it is that I can't really do anything good because there is always the probability, no, the almost certainty that I will be called for something. Which of course means that I really can't go anywhere out of pager/cell range. Can't go to the movies; who wants to watch a film you can't pause when the phone rings? Can't go to the free rifle range; it is too far south for our paging/calling plan. Oh well, I knew the job was dangerous when I took it. I just wanted to whine about it.

The living room is now painted a lovely lavender and a super deep kind of indigo. The ceiling fan also came down and was replaced with a nice IKEA fixture. As did the fan in the guest room--although calling it a guest room is roughly akin to referring to the convention center in a hotel as the ballroom. The only original fixtures left in this house are now the hideous bathroom 'vanity' bulbs and the ceiling fan in the master bedroom. It will, however, be replaced with the fan from the living room.

I'm still trying to figure out this ATOM and RSS thing for publishing the blogs. I have been putting several of them on my handheld, but it lists all the links and generally takes up waaay too much space. If you look HERE you can see what the ATOM feed looks like if you turn it on. Only glitch is that my handheld does not know what to do with xml. I have tried to find a service that can take the xml and convert it to a html site without the links. Feedburner will do just about everything except that. So, if some of you supergeeks out there know where I'm missing the boat, please drop me a line. Yeah, I know it isn't something I need to do, but it sure would be nice. As a side note, if you use a My Yahoo! personal page, you can set it up to add links to your fave blog's newest posts, provided they have an RSS source you can access.

Finally, if any of you have a copy of The Bedford Handbook laying around, hows about hooking a buddy up? I know it is sick and twisted, but I love reading english grammar and composition text books!

FOXNews.com - Views - Whither Gun Control?

I couldn't have said it better myself. I tried HERE but I think Mr. Lott illuminates the topic much better. This may be because I think of myself as more of a commentator than a writer. Or it could be that he has much more practice!

In any event, if you run into Mr. Lott, buy him a beer/cigar/cup of coffee for me.

Today at work I had way too much fun pushing Nate's buttons. Through the course of a different conversation, we ended up on smoking. Nate and I both quit years ago, but Nate has since fallen off the wagon.

You see, the OK state legislators are considering a fifty-five cent increase on taxes for your favorite brand of cigarettes. Since I am now of the opinion that I should not have to smell your stank cigarette while I'm eating at restaurantnt, I am for it. Nate, being the Constitutionally responsible voter that he is, fails to see the Constitutional justification for this tax and is against it. He is right that it is essentially a feelinge vote,in that I feel I shouldn't have to put up with tobacco smoke in a restaurant and Nate feels that he should be able to light up after a meal, but there is no Constitutional basis for either argument. The Constitution does not specifically prohibit smoking nor does it specifically permit it either. However, the Constitution is very clear in that if a power is not mentioned, then it is left to the states. (The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. 10th Amendment to the US Constitution)

The state of Oklahoma is well within its rights to raise the tax and I am all for it. I like the old argument that if ketchup had ½ the carcinogens that tobacco purportedly has it would have been banned years ago. The main problem with this, as we already know, is that when you ban things, people will make them anyway and continue to sell them. So you have then created a black market and driven the whole thing underground. Remember the old 'speak easy' from the prohibition days? That is exactly what would happen if an outright ban on tobacco could ever (although it wouldn't) get enough support to pass either the state or federal governments.

When you break it down, I think we are both right. A vote to increase taxes is a 'bad' vote but not an illegal vote. The decision is left to the states or to the people and if it passes a majority vote it is law, even if it may be a 'bad' law.

The best part was using all the same liberal arguments that are always thrown around when talking about gun control, like Tobacco kill kids, therefore we should ban it. and Tobacco products cost more in healthcare dollars than any other group of consumer products, therefore we should ban them. At one point, Nate even referred to me as a liberal tax-raising communist set on destroying our way of life, or something like that. All I could do was grin and keep pushing that big red button, because I really was sounding a lot like some of the more liberal folks around here. It was especially funny to hear him using all the same type of arguments I like to use when confronted with the same old tired liberal spin on firearm mortality. We even went as far as to compare the mortality rates of tobacco to that of traffic accidents. Smoking, if you believe the CDC's numbers, kills about eight times as many people as traffic accidents by the way.

It was good fun for all, but the point, as far as I'm concerned, is that there is no Constitutional amendment protecting smoking, like there is with freedom of speech or firearm ownership, so until there is, suck it up smokers! I'm coming for your tobacco and I'm hijacking the liberal's tactics to do it!

FOXNews.com - Foxlife - Out There - Bad Bank Robber Comes Out Losing Money

Your daily dose of stoopid, courtesy of Chris.

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com

Second dose. Again courtesy of Chris.

Yesterday, shortly after I arrived at work, one of our HR peeps calls me to let me know that RCI had sent me a check. If you've been reading along at home, you should recall that RCI lost the contract and I am no longer employed by them. Obviously I was very curious as to why a company I no longer work for was sending me, in essence, free money. I couldn't recall any outstanding debts they owed me and if I could've I would've made it know a long time ago.

I went back to the HR department and picked up my check for...drum roll, please... $40.38! Woo-Hoo! It wasn't a windfall or anything, but free money is free money. Since neither one of us could figure out RCI sent me money, she emailed one of the RCI HQ folks to ask what was up. She even told me that she would just cash it and enjoy. Remembering what it was like working for RCI, I knew that a mistake had been made somewhere and the last time there was a 'mistake', my check was short for 3 months. Those people never gave away money, and if they decided you owed them, they were getting it back. I decided to put the check in my desk until we could determine if it they had forgotten to pay me something, or they had just sent the check to the wrong guy.

Today I got the call and it turned out one of their corporate goons filed a travel claim and used my old employee number by mistake. And guess what--they want their check back. I knew they would, but the mysterious part is this: Why didn't I just cash the dang thing and thank them for dinner? It was addressed to me, and some of you may remember those old USPS commercials where they proclaimed that it if is addressed to you, whether you ordered it or not, it is yours. And is isn't like they could fire me...again. And in the really real world, would they have taken the time to hire out of state attorneys to recoup a $40 check? RCI was mostly evil in my experience, but they were never penny wise and dollar stupid.

Now if I could just find the OFF switch for this conscience thing...

I knew it was only a matter of time. You knew it too, only didn't realize you knew. Kelly has unleashed his brand (and it is a rather good brand) of...well, I'm not quite sure what on the blogging community, but if it is on par with the goods I get in my inbox, then it is going to be good.

By the way, Kelly is not one to hold back--so consider yourselves warned.

FOXNews.com - Foxlife - Fox Features - Pint-Sized Chefs Get Cookin'

Dang! Where were these when I was kid? I would have gladly blown off camp winnemuccaminnehaha (or whatever it was called) to get in on some of this.

Earlier this evening, Aimee and I went to the Civic Center to see STOMP! Having seen the HBO special, and sitting through endless bad ripoffs in the form of crappy commercials, we decided to catch the original.

It was a good decision. That was the most fun I've ever had at live theater that wasn't a concert. I've seen a few plays and shows, but nothing like this. You know the premise, but I will say that it is still rather enlightening to see the range of things you can use to make music. At one time or another, they beat on: fire extinguisher bottles, street signs, pots, pans, cups, buckets and bottles and barrels of all sizes, brooms, broomsticks, plungers, every part of their bodies as well each other's, silverware, putty knives, trash can lids, zippo lighters, what appeared to be altoid tins, crates, and various car parts and yes, even big, industrial size sinks suspended from their necks like tri-toms. I know I am leaving things out, but there was a lot going on. They even figured out a way to perform with plastic wm sacks.

The performance was obviously influenced by African dance and tap, and it was impossible to watch without tapping one's toes. They even busted out a little 'soft shoe' for us at one point. It was well worth the price of admission and I will openly admit I absolutely love the Civic Center. If you get a chance to see STOMP! or anything at the Civic Center I would highly recommend it.

If you are in the fast lane, drive fast or get out of the way. You are causing traffic accidents. Move over. On a related note: if you are driving on the highway you are in control of about 2500 pounds of material moving at an average of 75 miles per hour. A little more attention to what you are doing may be warranted.

If you don't want to take cell calls, turn the damnable thing off. For those of you who leave it on (but won't answer it) so you know you missed a call I promise you there will be a message alert when you turn it back on and you won't annoy everyone in your immediate vicinity. But hey, you don't care about that or you would've turned it off in the first place, wouldn't you? Stoopid.

Finally, if you don't live at the end of the cul de sac and are not visiting someone who does I assure you there is no need for you to drive down here just to look around and make sure we can hear your stereo. Our homes look just the same as the other end and none of us want to hear your based-out system with no mids or highs. I promise.

I can’t get over this DVD. It is, bar none, the best DVD concert I have seen.

Everything about this DVD is stunning. The sound engineering is flawless; all the instruments come through without competing with one another and the European Symphony Orchestra is always there when they are needed, but not even a peep when they aren’t. I think the credit goes to the musicians in the end though. I have seen a fair share of live shows, and I can only say that I have yet to see an ensemble who performs as well together. Don’t get me wrong, Coldplay and Fear Factory were super-tight (obviously not on the same marquee, heh) but not in the same way. There is so much more improvisation and the way the players work off each other is inspired. It makes me want to be a jazz musician. I don’t even care if I play triangle, it just makes me want to play something!

Ultimately, it is Diana Krall’s show and she is, for my money, the best thing going right now with respect to soft jazz. (I never really have been into hard bop, but that’s not to take anything away from it). The versions of Cry me a river and Devil May Care are two of my new favorites. Her take on S’Wonderful with Klaus Ogerman conducting is, for lack of a stronger word, perfect. Also notable is Cry Me A River which should be the definitive version of this great old standard.

If you are a musician, a music fan or just one who realizes that music ‘hath charms that soothe the savage beast’, then you need this DVD.

Yahoo! News - Top Stories Photos - AP

Yet more proof that insurance companies in general are in league with Lucifer and should be sent back to the 8th ring of hell where they belong. These insurance people sicken me.

eBay item 3720968219 (Ends May-04-04 15:12:53 PDT) - AIR GUITAR!! CHEAPEST AROUND!!

Since most of us sold our air guitars in the early 80's here's a rare opportunity to replace that cherished posession! Bid early, Bid often! HA

Thanks to Jason for pointing this out.

Yes it is true. I am a confirmed addict. I love all chocolates--I can't help it. Well, I'm sure I could, but why would I want to? Along that line, here's a quick treat I just finished up after inspiration struck at work.

Buy a bag of Dove dark chocolate promises, or milk chocolate if you prefer. (I know, Dove chocolate is made by MM/Mars, but let's face it: Godiva just ain't open when I get off work at 10:00p.m., now are they? Besides, when you are done with them, it won't matter 'cause they'll be better). Count out 30 of them. If you don't have some dried fruits and nuts in your cupboard, get some of those as well. I recommend dried cranberries and hazelnuts, which are delicious with the dark chocolate. I imagine chopped, dried apricots and walnuts, pecans or almonds would work very will with milk chocolate.

Anyway, get out your double-boiler and start melting 20 of them bad boys. Don't have a double boiler? Place a stainless-steel bowl on top of a simmering pot of water. Just make sure none of the water gets in the melting chocolate, and mind the steam coming up the sides. If you can't do that, melt them in the microwave. Better yet--go buy a freaking double boiler. Finely chop the remaining 10.

Once the chocolate is all melty and smooth (or around 115˚F) remove it from the heat and stir in the 10 finely chopped promises. When they are fully incorporated and the chocolate is smooth again, add 1/2C dried craberries and 1/2 cup chopped nuts. Fold over and over until everything is coated in a sexy layer of sweet chocolate lovin'. (Yeah, I'm that cheesy when it comes to chocolate).

Drop the mix by teaspoons into waxed-paper candy cups (these are available at WM in the craft section or at any good craft store in the cake decorating/candy aisle). If you happen to have a chocolate mold laying around, even better. Chill for about 20 minutes and enjoy!

The way the tartness of the dried cranberries plays off the dark chocolate is nothing short of sinful when combined with the crunch and just barely-there bitterness of the hazelnuts.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I added about a half teaspoon of cherry extract 'just because' but you can omit this if you don't have any handy.

If you are all about chocolate like I am, this should keep your demons at bay for at least a day or so. Enjoy!

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com

Yet another reason to quit smoking. Thanks to Chris for sending this over.

Tongue Tied - Gender Variance

This is hilarious. To me, anyway.

Jason hipped me to this and I think you too will find it curious, at least. I have only read a bit of it, but I will be reading more, and I think I will even put up a permalink until I am done with it. It is a blog that is purportedly run by an Iraqi who is still in country. HERE is the link to the BBC article, and HERE is the blog.

Food day is here again, and this time we went with finger foods/apetizers thanks to Paul's suggestion last month.

I'll let you know how it works out, but it most everything is already made so it isn't going to be like anyone has to make a soufflé or anything.

Here is the menu:

Tour 3 Productions Presents:
An Evening of Delightful Delectations
12 May, 2004


MENU:
Jason's Heavenly Deviled Eggs

Amber's Wonderful Wings (Rob's Submission)

Paul's Super-Special Spinach Balls

Dave’s Hoagie Sandwiches in Roast Beef, Ham, and extra Lean Turkey
As well as some extra tasty hot wings complements of Albertson’s deli

Chris' Magical Mini Pepperoni Calazones

Wayne's Whipped Seafood Spread
Served with an assortment of whole-grain crackers

Greg's Gargantuan Shrimp Ring with Snow Crab Claws.

Your Presence is Respecfully Requested,
Expect to begin dining around 17:00.

Yahoo! News - Plastic Surgeons Put the Knife Into TV Makeovers

I couldn't agree more. However it is of some concern that I actually agree with the Brits for once.

Yes indeed! I got the new POT? up and at the same time updated my archive portrait since I haven't shot this year's self portrait yet. So if you are curious to see just exactly what Kelly has been going on about, check out the new POT? then jump on over to the archive and behold the power of the afro. Bow to its might!

Seriously. Thinking about Mother's Day reminded me of this. I am pretty sure I buried it because I felt so terrible for having done it.

When we first moved to Oklahoma, back in 1978, it was a huge transition for me. Having spent most of my short 8 years in the city limits of Brockton, MA then suddenly finding myself in the middle of 10 acres was more than my feeble little mind could readily absorb. Not really being sure what to make of it, I did what most folks would've done: emulated the locals. For me, this meant my cousin Travis who is a year older.

This meant in a very short period of time, I was digging country music, wanting a cowboy hat, and since I already had the horse (well, really it was a Welsh pony) the only thing left was the BB gun.

It took a while; Mom was a tough nut to crack, but after a winter of 'persuasion' Eric and I were presented with matching Daisy Red Ryder BB guns. After a summer of shooting everything from cans to grasshoppers, I thought I was destined for the Olympic Air Gun team. I got a little too comfortable with the thing and then it happened.

Mom and I were out back shooting and when we were finished she started up the trail first. I had cocked my gun, to make sure I could quickly dispatch anything that should pop up on the short walk home, but neglected to engage the safety. As we walked, I was swinging the rifle back and forth in my right hand and I did not notice that my finger was on the trigger instead of behind it as was my habit. As my swing reached its forwardmost point of travel, the weight of the rifle pulled it outward, so naturally my finger pulled the trigger rearward and POP! I shot my Mom, htting her butt, on her birthday.

I was so freaked out that I had shot my Mom that I put the thing under the bed and shot nothing for a week.

When I finally had the nerve to get it back out, I was the king of safety. Muzzle discipline was my middle name, and I'm sure my brother got quite sick of me pointing out every single time he had failed to engage the safety. So what is the moral to this story? Simple. Don't shoot your mom's butt on her birthday. You will never live it down.

I think we finally have a winner!

Dedicated (or would that be committed?) readers will recall I was lamenting the lack of a recipe which would yield a dense, chewy, rich, choco-chip cookie. Thanks to Paul J. (the Bizcochito Bandito) I now have that recipe! (If this were a movie, this is where the lightning would strike, the thunder would rumble and the eerie under-lighting would kick in as I laughed maniacally before the shot faded to black). The recipe was credited to a Sharon Gifford (always give credit where it is due, kids) but of course I had to tinker with it. I doubled the vanilla and added a bit of butter flavor, since the recipe is all shortening, doubled the chips, used hazelnuts vice pecans or walnuts and omitted the curious 2T of milk so Aimee could help me eat them. The only, and I mean only, drawback to this cookie would be the slight greasiness left on your fingers resulting from the exclusive use of Crisco for the fat portion of the recipe--most call for margarine, butter, shortening or a blend of all three.

The cookie itself is dense and chewy, yet maintains tiny air pockets surrounding the chips and nuts so that it has a wonderful mouth feel, as the bottom browns to just slightly crisp. Very different from the solid cookie bricks some stores try to pass off. I said it was almost the perfect cookie and Aimee said "Almost?" just to give you an idea. Interested parties can email me for the modified recipie, but I plan on doing some more tinkering with it to see if I can get rid of that greasy feeling and have the true perfect cookie. If there is enough interest, I will post the recipe.

Thanks also go to Zora O. for taking the time to send along another trial recipe and hip me to the Cooks Illustrated. Check out her blog if you havent; she has been eating her way around Mexico and it is good stuff.

Kind of a lazy weekend.

We spent most of the day sleeping, then when I did get up I got right on the laptop trying to figure out the DVD writer. What a huge pain.

Then, we started painting the living room. Rest assured, I will not be assaulting you with daily paint updates. I may put up some pics when it is done, but don't hold me to it.

I made it up in the attic around 1:00 A.M. but the picture I was looking for was not there! I finally found it in a one of our photo albums, but by the time we finished watching Spider and I finished mucking around with a blog template, it was just too late to mess with it. I did find a nice bonus in the attic though. Sadly, it was not my favorite picture of Kelly, but almost as good. I even have this weeks POT? shot, but not edited or posted, so patience will be a virtue.

So here it is Mother's Day again. I remember the exact moment I realized just how good I had it growing up with respect to mothers: it was in boot camp, September 1988.

My parents divorced when I was young. I don't remember exactly when, but I guess I had to be about 10 or so. It was an amicable split and Eric and I stayed with Dad when Mom moved out. They arranged for joint custody, with Christmas, Thanksgiving and the summers at Mom's place. So even though Mom was not around as much, we talked on the phone and visited whenever we could.

Sometime after that, Dad remarried and we got a second mom. Just before high school, I started hanging out with Mike a lot more, and was essentially adopted into the Kimberlin family and got, for all intents and purposes, a third mom.

So here I am, running around doing all kinds of stupid, juvenile things, with three different maternal figures watching, or trying to anyway, over me and doing their best to keep me alive. At the time, I didn't realize that I was that fortunate, but it soon became apparent.

After taking the summer off, I went into boot camp on August 26th, 1988. The first week they kept us so busy that no one really had time to get to know anyone at any level. There was also the frustration of being surrounded by 90 complete strangers all at once, and being expected to act and work as a team from day one. With that additional stress, it took a bit longer for people's walls to start coming down but soon people were talking and sharing personal tidbits. It was during that week that I heard some of the most saddening things I had ever heard in my short 18 years. There were tales from guys who didn't even know who their father was, and their mother was pimping herself on the corner. No, I'm not joking, no matter how cliche that sounds. Then I heard from another guy who's mom used to beat him brutally, and he had enlisted to get away. There were more horror stories, and it was then, about the second week of September, 1988, that I realized that the entire time I thought my moms were being mean, spiteful or just plain stupid, they were always there, and did it out of love. I knew at that time, just exactly how lucky I was to have them around.

Happy Mother's Day to them all.

Hey, who's next to die?

It occured to me at some point that just simply typing in words where the name of your blog should go (right before the .blogspot.com) should land you on some interesting pages. So, in case you were wondering, here is the reason Justin couldn't get www.pornstar.blogspot.com.

Nice spelling, Allie.

FOXNews.com - Views - ifeminists - Gun-Proofing Children

Here's a quick nugget for ya and a reminder that September is only months away. So whichever side of the AWB you are on, remember to write your rep's and senators expressing your wishes. Remember, they work for us!

Last night, Aimee and I were eating dinner and I decided to put on the Placebo cd I made that morning for a little dinner music. Up until I made that cd, I had only heard two of their songs, thanks to the SPY, so I had to find enough tracks to fill the disk but I really didn't know what to expect. (When I made the CD, I literally just found a bunch of their songs on the P2P networks and burned them very hastily before work). Since I had taken the disk to work with me and listened to it three times, I knew their cover of Depeche Mode's I feel You was on there. I decided to play it for her, since it is the best cover of that tune I have heard yet and I thought she may recognize it from 'back in the day'.

No such luck. Not even a tiny bell went off. I said "Comeon, Depeche Mode? they were really big back in the '80s". (Even though I Feel You didn't come along 'til the '90s). Then, it hit me. Having grown up in the '80s, I am quite sure I never once thought I would hear myself say that phrase and come to the realization that the '80s were 20 years ago! Two freaking decades. Ho-ly cow. At that exact moment, I felt old. Not that 34 is decrepit by any stretch, but it was that exact same feeling as the first time I realized I had just said something my Dad used to say that made me think of him as old.

Granted, I was born in 1970, but the '70s weren't really my formative years, especially since I spent almost a 1/3 of them in diapers unable to form a complete sentence. I, like most of my contemporaries, am truly a child of the '80s. Which, sadly, means that most of us owned at least one pair of parachute pants, Chuck Taylors, Vans or Vision Street Wear and listened to or owned Prince's Purple Rain and were happy about it. Most of us had one, if not several, posters of the two Heathers (Thomas and Locklear) and thought that David Lee Roth was about as cool as you could get. How lame is that? How's that hairline now, Dave? Heavy Metal meant Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath or Dio and there just weren't 30 variations on the 'metal' theme like there is today. Oh yeah, neon was big, even though my personal philosophy at the time was "Friends don't let friends wear neon" and if you wore a shirt with a collar, it was supposed to be up. That, was horrendus, by the way and I shunned it too.

Lest you think the '80s were not really that long ago; that somehow it was a 'short' 20 years, just take a look back at Miami Vice. We all loved it but looking back through the magic looking glass of hindsight, is it possible, perhaps, that we were a bit hasty in that decision? Yeah, I think so.

Welcome to uComics Web Site featuring Ted Rall -- The Best Comic Site In The Universe!

Man, this Ted Rall guy has some issues. Make sure to read the 'about ted rall' spiel down at the bottom--It's a hoot.

Today's comic is an alternative viewpoint on Pat Tillman's death.

Woe to you, oh earth and sea, for Dusty has started his blog with wrath!

Yes indeed, one of the blogs I have been waiting for has arrived. He titled it Textus Prescribo; from the Latin, textus meaning woven fabric or web and prescribo, meaning to write out, write down or place on record. So that would make it, loosely translated of course, 'to write on the web'. I think. Seeing as how I have never studied Latin, that is my absolute best guess.

Rest assured, if he puts 1/4th of his mighty intellect into this project, you will find it an entertaining, enthralling, thought-provoking read.

(No pressure, eh?)

What a great day! I just finished breakfast, which I lovingly prepared while Aimee slept, so that it was ready to go as soon as she got up. Seriously, if you are going to make yourself a meal, why would you not make it the best you can? It gives me great satisfaction that I can do these things, especially considering the plight of those who just can't get it together enough to boil water. Not that breakfast is rocket science, but you would be amazed by the number of folks who can mess up scrambled eggs and hash-browns. And as for muffins: I once saw a muffin burned by my aunt to the point that I genuinely believed it was a recovered artillery shell! My uncle had it placed on a bookshelf to commemorate the occasion. I asked him where he had found the cool shell and he broke out in to laughter as my aunt just left the room.

I made apple-cinnamon muffins (from scratch) hash-brown potatoes, scrambled eggs seasoned with sage and thin-sliced green onion, Boca Breakfast patties, OJ and a nice strong cup of Earl Grey with honey.

As I sat there munching away greedily, I kept coming back to the same thoughts:

No matter what you do to a Boca Breakfast Patty, it will never have the same texture, flavor and just plain goodness of a real pork breakfast sausage. I have tried several methods, and they always taste exactly the same, which is to say decidedly not like pork.

Sage does something for eggs that makes me want to live off them for the rest of my days. Sadly, Aimee does not share my high regard for sage.

Garlic Tabasco pepper sauce should be on every breakfast bar in America. Potatoes absolutely love it!

If you are out of ketchup, thai bananna sauce makes a fine substitute. It's even red, just like tomato ketchup, for you purists. (are there ketchup purists?)

Calphalon non-stick is the second best thing for scrambled eggs. Hash-browns too.

Muffins really are best fresh out of the oven.

Finally, Earl Grey was a freaking genius! Mixing oil of bergamot with good black tea is just indescribable.

By the way, I know it is almost 5pm central, and I just finished breakfast but such is the tour 3 life! Gots to go clean up the kitchen now, so here's hoping your breakfast is as fresh and flavorfull as you can make it.