big cliché

Just a few minutes ago, I was checking out my StatCounter to see if anyone is still reading this drivel. Turns out you still are, and I sincerely thank you for that. However, to get back on point, you would not believe--well, maybe you would--some of the search phrases that land people here on the big cliché. It's getting late, so I'll just give you my favorite: big ass hoagie paul.

I couldn't have made that up if I had tried.

Oh yeah, many, many thanks to all of you who have chosen to link to the cliché--I'm happy to report visitors from blogs by Jeff, Carrie, Justin and "Pinky", to name a few.

Ok, one last search string: Lemoore Football Muskrat.

What are these people looking for?

Alrighty then. I met with the surgeon today and he informed me that I do indeed have a gallbladder full of small stones. Which means only one thing: it's got to go. This Friday, at some unbelievably early hour, I will make the short drive to Norman Reigonal Hospital and after a bit o' prep work, my gallbladder will be removed by a laparoscopic procedure. If you are unfamiliar with the procedure, it goes a little like this:

They punch a small hole in your belly button and inflate your peritoneal cavity, the place where your guts hang out, up to about 12psi with carbon dioxide. They use the co2 because it is inflammable and that is good--especially with some of the instruments they will be using. Once you are 'blown' up, they make three small incisions, pretty well in line with the downward angle of your rib cage starting from the sternum and going south. Then they run a camera (laparoscope, hence the name) in through the hole where the gas was injected so they can see what is going on. Once all the instruments are in place, they clamp off the offending gallbladder at the branch of the common bile duct and cystic duct, and remove said gallbladder. The common bile duct is inspected for any stray stones that may have made their way in, removing if necessary, and make all the appropriate sutures. Wa-la! No more pain after meals.

According to the doc's, the beauty of this is that I'll still be able to eat pretty well anything I want without the pain and discomfort I have been experiencing over the last months. The reason for this is that the liver continues to create and excrete bile, even though the gallbladder is gone, and dumps it straight into the gut through the common bile duct. Rather than being stored and concentrated in the gallbladder, where stones could reform if it was left in, the bile just drips away continuing to do the job it is meant to do. Brilliant. If you have a broadband connection, here is a nice animation of the whole thing.

This should take about 20 minutes, and I should be on my way home by noon. Of course, they will have to keep me for a bit to make sure the anesthesia wears off properly and that I don't go into shock or any craziness like that.

I'll be turning in now because I have to get to the hospital by 11:00 to be pre-admitted--which is a fancy way of saying "more paperwork" and labs.

Sadly, they don't provide videos of your procedure any longer. I was really looking forward to having a screening for friends and family, with popcorn for all. I was going to call it Wayne: An In Depth Look. They sure know how to ruin a guy's day.

MSNBC - How safe are your favorite restaurants?

All of a sudden, that home cooked meal sounds a lot better, eh? If you want to know the truth, I have always preferred our home cooking to these places, but I have to admit that every once in a while, I just have to get me some Denny's. I know, it's a sickness.

Thanks to Paul for bringing this one to our attention.

Admittedly, I am not a fashion expert but there are a few trends that even I can see are just not good for anyone.

First: Capri pants for men. I am noticing more and more guys wearing these very feminine trousers, even at the wm. If you are one of those guys wearing the capri pants and happen to be reading, I feel it my duty to let you know that if you are not gay, you will want to burn your last pair. 'Cause the rest of us are 100% sure you are. Gay, that is. Not because gay equals feminine or anything that cromag, but because only gay guys are that fashion forward. Ok, maybe it is different where you live, but here in OK, I assure you capri pants does equal gay. The same can be said, with a high degree of certainty, for AR, TX, LA, GA and MO.

Second: Ladies. You know we love the short shorts, but I assure you there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to buy a pair with anything written across the butt. I don't care if it is your alma mater, your favorite brand of beer, or just some dorky little nickname, like "hottie" or "cheerleader". You have to stop doing this. Even Stacy London has laid down the law, and she is the fashion expert. Here, I'll make this simple for you: those shorts do make you look fat!

Third: Ladies wearing mens t-shirts. This is an injustice and must stop. They are just not cut for your figure. Heck, they aren't even cut for men's figures. Please, do us all a favor and take the time to find a correclty fitted t-shirt. Please?

If you are at someone's house, or someone come to your house, and someone puts Godsend in the DVD tray, for the love of all that is holy do not look directly at the screen. Walk backwards with a mirror if you have to, but do not look at the images on your television set. It could induce coma or even worse. Once the DVD is safely out of the tray and back in the protective case, smack the someone who started the movie in the first place. How Aimee and I survived it in its entirety I will never know.

If you were curious, your local gun store is probably still short on full-cap magazines. According to the owner of H & H, the manufacturers failed to ramp up production. As a result, they are playing catch-up and there just aren't any to be had yet. He estimated 30 days to unlimited full-cap bliss. Outdoor America Store wasn't much more help in that respect, and to be honest, they aren't much help in any respect.

The day started out on a high note, albeit an early one. Seeing as how Jefe's time here in OK is getting short, I decided we should get together for breakfast so I could get the inside scoop on BM2004 and just generally hang out and catch up. I show up at casa de Jefe around 10:00a.m. (yep, you read that right) and he announces he has a surprise. Honest to God, at that hour I just couldn't begin to fathom what it might be--even more so since it was Jefe saying so. For all I knew he had 75lbs. of bratwurst in the fridge, the grill was all fired up and there was a gang of state fair carnies coming over for a German breakfast complete with Oktoberfest beer on tap and giant, salted pretzels for all. Which would have indeed been a surprise--although I'm not sure how my guts would handle that much bratwurst in their current condition.

He did even better: He informed me that Chuck Loughlin would be joining us for breakfast. If you haven't met Chuck, you should. And if you have, you know what I mean. I haven't seen him in at least 4 years so I was quite happy to get the chance to catch up, at least as much as one can over breakfast. He is, indeed, one of the good guys and I'm glad to know he made it back from Iraq intact.

On a culinary note, I still think Nino's on S. Western in OKC serves up some of the finest Texican cuisine in town. The rice is a tad dry for my taste, but I'm willing to let that slide since everything else is so good. Anything on the menu is good, although it was a tad disheartening to see that even Nino has bowed down to the low-carb insanity which has taken over our great nation. Sad times, folks.

Info About Network - Police Seize 388 Guns from One Man

Dang! They have found out about my not-so-secret west coast operative. How will I ever take over the world, now that they have captured my double-agent and confiscated my entire arsenal.

noun. 1. Being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially alcohol or narcotic drugs)

noun. 2. An abnormally strong craving

Synonyms: dependence, dependency, habituation

Definition courtesy of WordWeb (which has to be the all-time coolest freeware for bloggers, IMO) but if you ask Wayne (and even if you didn't) these can all be cooked down to one thing: lack of willpower. If you like to expand on that theme, how about lack of self-respect, or respect for your family? Or even your neighbors?

A little background: I have seen several documentaries about drug addiction. You probably have as well. HBO absolutely loves those which show addiction in all of its unedited, made-for-cable-tv glory. Earlier this week, they were all about the crystal meth. Of course I had to stop and watch it for just a few. Thinking back, we must've caught only the last 15 minutes or so, but it was enough to get me all fired up.

A little more background: I smoked for way too many years. Why? See the paragraph above. Smoking is an addiction. I don't care what Phillip Morris or any of those yahoos say. I can tell you from experience. This is important to realize because I don't want you to think that I'm just sitting here passing judgement on people without knowing, at a personal level, what I'm talking about. Granted, it is hard to compare a heroin junkee or tweaker to a smoker, but when you boil it down the addiction is the same. I think we have all heard that quitting smoking is just as hard as kicking heroin, but I don't really think that is the case. I never went down on anyone for a smoke, I never robbed a packy, nor did I pimp myself off for that next pack. These actions, while entirely unreasonable, are apparently somewhat common among hardcore addicts--at least according to the confessions of the junkies interviewed for these documentaries.

What is my point then? Simple: if a person wants to quit they will. If not, they won't. Period. It is, and I assure you of this, that simple. Every smoker I know (I'm using smokers because I just don't know any heroin addicts) always says, "I would love to quit". Or "I have tried to quit". Guess what? Those who try to quit will fail. The only way to quit anything is to just stop doing it. Once a person gets his/her head around that one, it's as good as done.

Think about this: in modern society, it is harder to smoke than not smoke. A smoker has to first buy the cigarettes. Then they have to make sure they always have them, as well as their lighter or matches. Then, they have to get to the smoking area of whatever building they are in 'cause let's face it: if it has a roof, it is probably a no smoking area. A non smoker does not have to do any of these things. Look at all the effort it takes to continue to be a smoker.

Now, apply this same concept to a junkie and it becomes infinitely more complicated because their substance of choice is illegal and instead of just going to the corner store you have to find a dealer, who will invariably be someone you would want to hang out with for any length of time. One must also remember that every transaction carries it with it the very real possibility of going to a lovely correctional facility where you will probably end up as someone's bitch. Once you score, you will have to find a safe (I don't mean comforting, I mean free from prying eyes) place to do your bidness. Most junkies will have to hide all their gear, and I'm not talking about hiding it from the police. After all, unless you are married to an addict, I can't think of too many spouses/significant others who are going to sit idly by watching Brady Bunch reruns on Nick at Night while you cook up and get off.

For years, doctors and other "smart folk" have maintained that addiction is a disease. If you look at the text book (or WordWeb) definition (An impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning) then I suppose it could be. But to my line of thought a true disease is one which you can't choose to have. Regardless of what people may think or tell you, taking that next hit, snorting that next line, throwing back that next drink or even lighting that cigarette are all still choices. That stuff didn't jump into your hand. Addicts choose to continue their behavior. Well, some don't but that is a different post.

I guess what has really gotten me all fired up is the scene in each of these documentaries (and I must apologize for not having the titles readily available) where the junkie being interviewed, who is literally in tears talking about how much they want to quit and get straight for their family, looks right into the camera and shoots up. What. The. Fudge. I just don't get it. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Anyone who tells me it "isn't that simple" is only saying that out loud to mollify themselves, because they aren't convincing me one stinking bit.

Just for the record here, I'm not knocking those folks who choose recreational drug use as an occasional release for _______. If you want to smoke a bone, take a hit of e, or whatever it is that blows up your skirt (I choose time at the range) that is fine with me--we all have vices. Just don't come up to me in the street asking for money for diapers when we both know you are going straight to the pusherman to get your next fix, OK? On the other hand, maybe I need to start panhandling for ammo money and targets. That would be fun--sitting down at Meridian and I-40 with a sign that reads "WILL WORK FOR BULLETS". Naw, maybe not. The junkies would probably beat me unmercifully for trying to take their spot.

Here's one final thought for you: I think we have all seen old smokers who are still smoking. When was the last time you saw an old heroin junkie who was still shootin' up?

Good morning, and welcome to the Blog News. This evening's lead story, Addiction, will be brought to you at a later date so we can bring you this breaking story from the heart of Oklahoma. Wayne's in the news room and has this live report.

Thanks, Wayne. Earlier today, it was confirmed that Wayne will need a cholecystectomy to relieve the localized abdominal pain he has been experiencing for some time now, which tests confirm is being caused by gallstones. You may remember back in July, we were first to bring you details on this developing story.

At that time, Wayne was experiencing very localized abdominal pain after meals so he checked with a local physician and was then put on Prilosec OTC in the hopes that the pain he was experiencing was the symptomatic presentation of a duodenal ulcer. Sadly, as Wayne suspected, this was not the case. After 8 weeks on the Prilosec the only thing that had gone away was his chronic heartburn--the localized abdominal pain returned again and again.

Two weeks ago, Wayne again visited that same physician and was then referred to a radiology clinic for a scanning ultrasound a week later. Most people are familiar with ultrasound technology, which uses sound waves to create a two-dimensional, electronic picture of the body's internal structures and is most frequently used by obstetricians to monitor fetal development in pregnant women.

Just this morning, Wayne returned to his local physician to obtain the results of that diagnostic test. Blog News was unable to obtain the documents, but in an exclusive interview with Blog News Wayne has confirmed that he has indeed scheduled a consultation for next week with a local surgeon and was quoted as saying "I'll be seeing him next Monday. Old Boy had better bring is A Game 'cause I'm gonna get knee-deep in some questions, and I know Aimee is gonna be grillin' him like a slab o' baby-backs too. This may be routine for him, but it certainly is not for me."

The laproscopic cholecystectomy is a procedure by which the surgeon removes the gallbladder using a video camera and specialized instruments that are inserted through tiny incisions in the abdomen. The abdominal cavity is inflated with carbon dioxide, which creates the room necessary for the surgeon to work. This method is far less invasive than the open cholecystectomy and as a result affords the patient a faster, less painful recovery. Wayne's physician even went as far as to say that if the procedure was successful and progressed as planned, he could return to work as early as one day after the procedure!

Blog News has done some investigation, and we have found that cholecystectomy is the only real choice for eliminating painful gallstones. The internet is rife with alleged homeopathic remedies which are commonly referred to as a "gallbladder cleanse" and often use a mixture of olive oil and lemon juice to try to induce the body to expel the stones naturally. However, when asked, Wayne's physician informed him that these rarely work, but if they did the medical community would certainly prescribe this method over a surgical procedure, citing the first rule of medicine: do no harm. Unfortunately, starting an exercise program and changing one's diet will not effect the symptoms either, as Wayne has found out. In fact, his low-fat diet may have actually contributed to the development of the stones, even while helping him to shed twenty pounds and lower his blood pressure twenty points, on both systolic and diastolic.

You see, a diet low in fat may not trigger the gallbladder to contract sufficiently to completely empty its contents. These left-over chemicals, mainly bile salts and cholesterol, collect and may solidify. The pain is caused by these newly-formed stones being forced into the cystic duct as the gallbladder contracts.

We're told the procedure is fast, safe and very effective but don't let its apparent ease fool you--if left untreated this condition can lead to an inflammation of the gallbladder, pancreatitis or even sclerosis of the liver. Any of these conditions could be potentially fatal so this is something that Wayne must take seriously, and we hear he is.

That's all we have tonight on this breaking story, but stay tuned to Blog News for all the details as they develop.

Live in the newsroom, this is Wayne for Blog News.

Once again, I am going to be that lame. I just finished making a big phat batch of divinity so my hands are quite tired. I actually wore a blister on my stirring hand, so I'm going to take it easy tonight. And this is after we did the grocery shopping then jogging around da 'hood as well. Yes, I'm still at it. And getting faster, too.

As you have no doubt ascertained by now, it was definitely a movie weekend. We watched Butterfly Effect, Kill Bill, Vol 1 & 2 (back to back, the way it should be) The Passion of The Christ, most of Underworld and 5 or 6 songs off the Dianna Krall DVD. You want to hear something kind of creepy? I don't recall going outside even once Sunday! Rather WayDownTown-esque, if I say so myself.

Which kind of brings me to the topic of tomorrow's post: Addiction. While we were surfing around the channels between movies, we ran across yet another one of HBO's documentaries on drug addiction. Which, of course, set me off. I know, I still haven't busted off the abortion rant, but like I mentioned, that one is going to require lots of research--which you have again, no doubt, ascertained did not get done this weekend. Anyway, this one was about our favorite drug here in Oklahoma: Crank--a.k.a. methamphetamine, crystal meth or "hillbilly heroin". It seems like every freaking day you read about some knucklehead in OK who was either making it, taking it, or selling it and as a result does something immeasurable on the sliding stoopid scale. As a matter of fact, Aimee just reminded me of that complete idiot who was cooking up NEXT DOOR when we were living at the Woodcrest Apts. Since neither one of us is a tweaker, we honestly thought the dork was spray painting furniture in his apartment, or perhaps huffing. In either case, we didn't think much of it until one day the detectives showed up asking questions. But I'll get deeper into that tomorrow.

So for now, kind friends, I'll leave you with that. I've got a doctors appointment in about 7 hours.

Yahoo! News - Macaulay Culkin Arrested On Drug Charges In Oklahoma

Now why did he have to come all the way to Oklahoma to get arrested? He could have done that just as easily in LA. Silly actors.

So I'm catching up on even more blogs, and checking out a few new ones while I'm at it and I keep seeing these repeated, and I mean repeated references to the Wormy Dog. Reading these posts one could get the feeling that he is the only one in the state not going to this apparently unstoppable juggernaut of a club. Are Aimee and I that unhip, or is this just a reigonal thing?

I guess it really doesn't matter, since I gave up clubbing about...oh dear God in heaven, I can't even rememeber when I gave up clubbing! I guess that answers the whole hipness question, doesn't it?

A strange thing happened today at work. My boss actually made me feel good about what I do. We were discussing a few things and he mentioned that we, meaning the team leads, were unique in that we all have electronics backgrounds as well as networking and IS skills to supplement our management experience. Usually, you get managers who have electronics skills or networking, but not both. When he put it like that, I suddenly felt good about my prospects outside of our building. You see, I am the guy who always has to wonder what I would do if I found myself without a job tomorrow. Until today, I figured I would just be screwed, since I haven't bothered getting me one of those high-falutin' college ed-u-cations. But...he is right. I have been doing my job long enough that I now fall under the "...or equivalent experience" umbrella you see in so many job listings. And he was right again about having a background in both electronics and networks. It was just a bit odd to have a realization like that sitting in my boss' office before I had even been at work an hour. But odd in a good way.

And in a completely unrelated story, I just finished watching a documentary on AMC called Rated R: Republicans in Hollywood. I had read a short piece on it while surfing the news sites yesterday, so I had to record it when I saw that it was playing again at like 3:00a.m.

I must say, It was nice to see that hollywood is not as completely hosed as I initially thought. Don't get me wrong, I fully realize that 99.999873% of all actors, producers, screenwriters, etc. are all full on pro-choice, pro-gay, anti-Bush, anti-middle America, Republican-hating noisemakers, but it was reassuring to see that at least 3 big names are not buying what Sean Penn and his ilk are selling. Which three? How about Patricia Heaton, Drew Carey and Ben Stein. There were more, but those three were willing to do at-length interviews. Patricia Heaton had the best quote of the show with this tasty tidbit: "...you would have thought I had crapped in the middle of the table!" She was referring to the admission, made at one of those famously liberal hollywood dinner parties, that she and her husband had both voted for Bushy in 2000. It was interesting and shines a tiny light of hope on that dim place known to me as The People's Republic of Kalifornia.

Finally, every time I have sat down to post this week, I have been stricken by the inexplicable urge to check every website I can find, as well as gunbroker.com, for the best prices on the most assault-worthy rifles and parts I can find. This is the reason I haven't put much up, but you should know by now I am easily distracted by ugly black rifles that scare lib'rals. It always starts innocently enough. "Oh, I'll just check on xxxxx real quick to see if that xxxxx is still going for $xxxx". The next thing I know, it is 3:34a.m. and I'm thinking to myself that there just isn't enough time to whip up a good post before I'm going to want to get some sleep. Another extenuating circumstance is that I'm still trying to catch up on everyone's blogs. I just didn't to much reading while on vacation. I think it had to do with that beach that was conveniently located about 50 yards from our condo, but I'm not certain. I'm just about caught up on everyone's various shenanigans, so I should be back to a somewhat-regular schedule by this weekend. Or maybe I'll just sit back and watch the 400 movies I've borrowed from family and friends. It's just too early to tell, but with titles like The Passion of the Christ, Kill Bill Vol 1 & 2, The Missing, The Butterfly Effect and a few others, I may not get anything done!

Yahoo! News - Schwarzenegger outlaws sex with corpses

Well it's about time. What were they thinking?

Now that the stoopid of the AWB has passed (although I'm sure Chuck and Dianne have something ready to go for next year) I faced a choice. Take down the AWB Sunset button, or replace the AWB Sunset button.

But I'm quite sure this isn't over. Oh no, kids, it is just on hold until after the elections. You see, politicos aren't as stupid as people think. With things as tight as they are, you know why no one wanted to move on reauthorizing the ban--well no one except for the truly committed. Simple election-year politics: piss off as few potential voters as possible. Chuck and Dianne were ready to re-up because they know their constituents wanted them to do this, so they weren't going to lose any face, or votes, in doing so. For the majority of our elected officials, this just isn't so. One need only remember the fallout of '94 when this thing passed to understand why no one was chomping at the bit. Well there's that, and the fact that this was the most lame-brain, asinine piece of legislation ever passsed.

I myself had already gone on record, or on 'blog' anyway, that if Bushy-Bushy signed and reauthorized the ban, after congress did the same, I would have to look long and hard about even getting to the polls this year. Seriously, Kerry is not an option for me, and Nader is...well...just not going to win so what is the point there? Fortunately, they made my decision that much easier for me come November. And in the process, I get to build all the assault weapons I want! Well, not really. Christmas is a ways off and my birthday has come and gone, so while I could legally build one sweet, sweet piece of gear; financially it just isn't possible right now. I think I may buy just one of the "For Law Enforcement Use Only..." mag's just so I can flaunt it and bask in the lack of stoopidity. For the time being, at least.

Strangely enough, there weren't any giant sales that I noticed on any of the big AR-15 manufacturers web sites. Armalite is offering a certificate or something that will let you return your muzzle-braked rifle for a flash suppressor. I didn't read the whole thing last night but it was something like that. Bushmaster wouldn't even load and Rock River Arms (my personal favorite) has taken down their AWB description link, but their rifles still say pre-and post-ban on the pics. I guess no one wants to re-code an entire website when your customers already know the good news, huh?

I could take the cheaper route, and just get a new upper half for my AR that has the bayonet lug and flash suppressor, then get the collapsible stock and a few more full-cap magazines just for good measure. Again though, that would be about 400 clams and what would I do with the 20" barrel upper half I took off? No one is really going to give top dollar for a pre-ban rifle top, now are they? And if I am honest with myself, I would rather keep that 20" heavy barrel upper. It is very, very accurate and it makes me smile every time I press that trigger.

So I guess the only real answer at this point is to just sit tight for the time being and start saving to build the absolute most evil of the evil black rifles. One that will strike fear into the hearts of lib'rals and gungrabbers everywhere--one that will have all the features that my current rifle couldn't. Oh yes, I foresee a 16" commando-style barrel with the 5" flash hider, bayonet lug and of course, jet black furniture. There will be a collapsible, 4-position stock and maybe even a patrol sling. 30-round USGI mag's will, of course, be mandatory. Dang, folks, I feel naughty just typing this! Too bad there isn't a gun show this weekend to go see how the prices have changed. I guess we'll have to wait 'til October.

Oh yes, for those of you reading this thinking all kind of crazy, Freudian-inspired stuff about guns and the male anatomy: go away would you? Come back after you have been to the range and then we'll talk.

ATF Online - Changes in Federal Law as of September 13, 2004

Just incase you were curious, here's what's changed.

CNN.com - Oprah:�A brand new car -- for everybody! - Sep 13, 2004

Dang. Go Oprah. I'm waiting for the show where she gives away brand new AR-15s and AK-47s to audience members to celebrate the sunset. Now that will be a show!

It is 10:00a.m. cdt here in sunny Galveston, TX as Aimee and I prepare to load up the hot rod and head north.

It has been good, but as they say, "all good things must come to an end". Which is the dumbest thing anyone ever said. WHY must they come to an end? If I was prepared to just not go back to work in OK, and find something down here, it WOULDN'T have to, now would it?

Anyway, posting from down here, as you can tell, has been pretty low on the to do list. And why should it be any higher? No one is paying me for this stuff and I am sick to death of these NetZero popups. But more importantly, I am on vacation! As anyone who takes this stuff seriously knows, a good post is hard work, kids, so again I have to ask myself "why"?

I do have to give out the props to anyone who does this on a dialup connection though. Seriously, dialup stinks.

I'll get you all caught up when I get home, kind friends, so just kick back, relax and have a great weekend.

We arrived at our final destination yesterday, but things were just too out of whack to post. I tried writing something, but it was getting late so I gave it up.

We are in Galveston, TX which is where we honeymooned 8 lovely years ago. A lot has changed, including us.

We got in last night around 8 something, almost 9 and by the time we got all settled in it was pretty late, considering the hour we had to get up which was mucho early-o for us.

After getting up yesterday, we proceeded to spend more money than we have ever spent on clothes in a single day over at The Galleria, which is to Houston what 5th avenue is to NYC, or so I hear. After that, it was off to Aimee's favorite place: IKEA. She was like a kid in a candy store--I kept having to remind her that we had to somehow fit everything we bought in the car along with all our luggage and the items we already had loaded.

Things are good. We have a beach view to the north and to the east, and Galveston was nice enough to build all kinds of new restaurants for us. How considerate! This evening, we hit Landry's Seafood, which is a bit fancier than I initially thought, but everything was good and properly prepared. The only problem with that place is the portions. I swear they could have fed three from my plate alone. I felt terrible sending all that food to the trash can. Trust me, reheating a seafood pasta in a condo with only a microwave is not something you want to do.

Last night's dinner was enjoyed at the SaltGrass Steakhouse, which was kind of like Texas Roadhouse, but more mexican flavors. Who would've guessed, right?

So if you were wondering, we are still alive and eating well. Perhaps too well, but we will be taking lots of long walks on the beach to make up for it, and I did 30 minutes on the treadmill at the Derek, not to mention the 5 miles we walked around The Galleria.

More to come...

You all know I believe in heaven. What was rather unexpected is that it would actually be here in Houston, TX at the Hotel Derek in the form of the Basil Pesto Crusted Sea Bass with Rice Pilaf and grilled Baby Veggies. Honest to God, words would fail to convey the light, succulent and rich-all-at-the-same-time flavor if I tried, so I won't. Just know that I am officially ruined on all seafood for the rest of my life because they will all pale by comparison.

Also, you should note the new POT??? is up, as well as a new Archive photo I like to call "Wayne is a complete dork. With booze."

Enjoy, and I'll put up a longer post later. It is almost 1:13a.m. and we have to up and out shopping by noon.

Oh yeah, vacation rocks.

Off work that is!

I have officially been on vacation now for three hours and 55 minutes and it feels good! I set up the "I'm out of the office" voicemail and outlook auto-reply so there is nothing left to do but kick back and enjoy the next 9 days of being paid to absolutely nothing! (Insert maniacal laughter here).

That is what I love most about vacation. My company is paying me to relax and get my recreational groove on. If I'm kicking back seaside and just watching the waves roll in, they're paing me. If I'm sleeping in 'til 11:00a.m., they're paying me! I love it! As far as I'm concerned, vacation is the absolute best part of working. Sure, the whole "getting to eat" thing is nice, and having a house can be pretty sweet, but being paid to do whatever I want is the real deal clencher. I used to be that guy who had to get back to work after two weeks of vacation because I just felt like I needed to be doing something. Turns out I was just bored and always fell back on what I knew, which was working. Not any more, kiddos. If these fine folks paid me to stay at home, they would never have to see me again. And my boss is well aware of this fact.

Lots to do before we head out, though. Right now, I'm getting the laptop all fixed up for a road trip, which means loading netzero so when we get to out destination I will be able to blog and email and such. Probably more importantly, I will be able to find out where things are. I don't really remember how we ever functioned before mapquest, although I do have a vague recollection of...paper maps? Is that what they were called? Oh yes, an atlas. That was it. OK, so we still use the atlas, but once we get where we are going if I need to find the closest whatever, the internet is the way to do it. Even if I do have to resort to dial-up which is a very small inconvenience for being able to find the exact street address and a map to the closest farrier--should the need arise that is.

After that, I'll find the frequencies for the PD in our destination city and get them all programmed into the scanner using the laptop. To do the actual programming, I'll have to wait 'til tomorrow because that takes a bit o' time and I still need a cable adapter, but I can still get the numbers and load the software tonight.

Tomorrow will be running errands and packing, so there may not be much time for a post. Sunday we actually start our journey but I hope to be able to post something that night from our first hotel.

So then, if things go as expected the next post should be "Tales From the Road: Day 1".

I hope Aimee's folks can remember how to use the remote while we're gone.

I have been incredibly distracted with all this RNC going on, not to mention a few other things.

I have been kicking around whether or not I want to do one of those posts.

Monday, Terry Gross had the president of Planned Parenthood on Fresh Air, and the woman kept referring to abortion as a "reproductive right", which sounds to me like a very PC way to make a stinker smell like a rose, if you catch my drift. I can't really say why, but the whole flavor of that interview really just hit a nerve for me and I have been trying to decide whether or not to just go off.

The quandry is that before I could do that post there is much research to be done and to be honest, as you may have guessed, I have been just too lazy to do any real research this week. The other concern, which if I am perfeclty honest really isn't much of a concern since this is my blog afterall, is what happens to people when you discuss abortion. Rational leaves the room altogether and the name calling is only milliseconds away.

As we all know abortion, religion, politics and gun control have this inexplicable ability to turn reasonable people into screaming, ranting lunatics. And I'm just not sure if I want to open that whole can of worms. Again, if I really think about it, I'm sure I'm not changing your mind, and I know you aren't going to change mine so what then becomes the point? Simply getting it off my chest? I can't decide if it is worth all that work just to vent and piss off exactly 50% of you in the process--especially when one considers the limited scope of 'the blog'. It isn't really a discussion that lends itself well to the blog format.

I didn't post last night because I was working on my "100 things". You have probably seen these lists, which are made up of (obviously enough) 100 short, to the point things about the author. The first one I saw was on someone's blog (I wish I could remember who so I could give them their props) and I thought that was a really good, quick way to let a complete stranger know what you are all about. In my very first post, I tried something similar, but seriously: who is going to read that far back?

So that, and listening to the RNC, is all I have been doing this week. Oh yeah, I had a follow-up appointment with the doc about my localized abdominal pain and how the prilosec isn't cutting the mustard. He scheduled me for an ultrasound week after next to see if I am packing gallstones. They wanted to schedule for next Monday at some God-awful hour of the morning, but I was only too happy to inform them that I would not be available because of pending travel plans. Can you say "va-ca-tion"? Sure you can!

So there it is. My lazy week in a nutshell. I guess the only bit that isn't lazy about my week is jogging around da hood. Yes, folks, I'm still at it and actually enjoying it. I even look forward to it now. Isn't that sick?

Hopefully, I'll squeeze in a few quick posts before hitting the road Sunday, but for sure look for some vacation posts from...well...I'll tell you when we get there!

"John Kerry is a candidate who has to google his own name to find out where he stands." New York Governor George Pataki addressing the delegates at the Republican National Convention, September 2, 2004.

"My wife Kathy and I are not willing to bet the future of our grandchildren on the goodwill of murderers". General Tommy Franks, Ret. addressing the delegates at the Republican National Convention, September 2, 2004.

A door-to-door sales man approaches an average house in a middle-class neighborhood. The yard is well-kept, and the house has been freshly painted. He smells a sale.

He rings the bell, already counting his money, but is surprised by who answers the door. It isn't the Lady of the house, but a small boy no more than nine or ten years old.

The boy is wearing a plush, red velvet smoking jacket, has a big black Cuban cigar in his right hand, a single-malt scotch is in his left hand, in the appropriate glass, and he has the latest edition of Playboy tucked under his arm.

The salesman has to take a few for this to all soak in, and when he regains his train of thought, he asks the boy "Son, are your parents home"?

The boy takes a long, slow draw on his cigar, blows the smoke towards the salesman and replies "What do you think?"