big cliché

Just not today.

The desktop died again this weekend, and I was up 'til 06:45 this morning trying to purge the laptop of an evil trojan that just will not die. So basically, until I get one of them sorted beyond the point of basic operation, I may be a bit scarce. So, in the mean time, go over HERE and read my brother Justin's interview.

Be well, people.

The best signature line quote seen so far over at TFL so far:

"Keep working, millions on welfare are depending on YOU!"

Used by "Garand Guy".

More proof that Fred Baker's outdoor America store is evil:

Last weekend, Dave's mom (honorary Tour 3 den mother) went to oas to try to purchase some goods. She waited. And waited. Then waited some more. Many of the sales dorks walked right past her, while she was making notes of models, finishes and prices. After almost a half hour of blatant neglect, she decided that was enough and she could spend her hard-earned cash in a store where they still pay attention to their customers. I wonder why a store would want to treat its customers well? Hmmmm. Why could that be? On her way out, one of the register gals asked if she had gotten everything she needed. She replied to the negative, so the sales gal asked if she wanted to have a sales goon paged. Again, she replied to the negative and continued on her way out.

Now Dave's Mom is good peeps, having baked several straight-up whoop-your-arse desserts for the Tour 3 foodnights--back in the day before Dave jumped ship that is. For them to ignore her outright is just another black mark against an empire we already know to be evil. So please help us end this empire of evil by supporting our boycott of the oas: remember to steer clear of them while doing your Christmas shopping this year. In fact, don't even drive down Macarthur boulevard between 23rd and 16th streets at all--you may get some of their funk stuck on ya.

FOXNews.com - Business - GM to Close Nine Plants, Lay Off 30,000

This is no good at all. But, to me, it all comes down to quality. I do hate to say that because I have family that will be affected by the OKC plant closure. I bought a Ford truck by default--meaning that if there had been an equivalent, affordable full-size truck made by Honda at the time, I would've bought it instead. GM, imo, just isn't engineering the trucks they used to, or at least I don't believe they are. Part of that belief is Jefe's fault. In a good way, though. Back innaday when I worked with Jefe, every truck The Man ran was made by Ford except one. Guess which one gave us the most guff? That's right--the big GMC that Jim beat on a daily basis. Granted, at the time the truck was almost 15 years old, and Jim, the guy who was the primary drive of said truck, was very hard on vehicles. But this, kiddies, was a 2-ton dumptruck (as I recall) and was what you call a "heavy duty" truck. Keep in mind that by auto maker standards, the trucks you and I drive are "light duty" trucks, so Big Blue should've been able to keep up with Jim's shenanigans. Or at least I thought so.

I hate to say it, but I think the American manufacturing sector has gotten lazy and for the most part cares more about their paychecks and union crap than the quality of the vehicles. Case in point: the Chevy Beretta. I know two people who drove one, and I know two people whose vehicles literally fell apart on them. Ask Jefe, or Kelly's wife. The cars literally fell to pieces. By contrast, Brother K's mom drove a civic that was 10 or so years old when I met them and that car was unstoppable.

So, in short, when GMC starts building vehicles that I believe match the quality of the imports, then I'l start buying them again. Why should I feel any loyalty to a brand that I feel has abandoned you and me?

President Bush on Yahoo! News Photos

Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States.

Oh relax, you know it's funny.

Like I said I spent most of the weekend's computer time working on a site for brother Justin. It is a collection of his shoe illustrations and is super-basic, but all he needed was a place to showcase his wears for potential employers. The unfortunate, and unexpected, side effect of this is that I haven't really felt like putting up a real post this weekend. So, in lieu of a coherent, flowing, well crafted post, I offer this collection of disassociated, random thoughts from the weekend.

Why does Hatebreed insist on sucking so hard?

What the fudge was Beretta thinking when they designed TWO firearms that are designated "Storm" but then failed to design them so they can use the same magazines? I am referring to the PX4 Storm, which is a Pistol, and the CX4 Storm which is a carbine. I assure you, after close inspection, the namesake is the only thing they share. Somebody at Beretta was snoozin' on that one.

How is that Korn has had like 20 years to practice, but they now sound worse than they did 20 years ago? (He asked referring to their SNL performance yesterday).

I find it odd that I can go into walmart at any hour of the day or night and find at least 2 people on their cell phones. Who the freak are they bothering at 2:30 in the a.m.?

Puffed brown rice, while more flavorful than crisped white rice, is (you guessed it) much more 'puffy' than it is crispy. This becomes a factor when making rice crispy treats (a-la-Alton Brown) with dried fruits and toasted almonds. Next time, they are getting mixed half and half.

I've been working on a hunk of Dad's venison summer sausage that I vacuum sealed last season and it is still just as tasty and delightful as it was then! Maybe I'll even send Kelly some of the jerky, since he didn't tag one this year.

It occurs to me that I am really a bitter old man trapped in a not-so-old man's body. This becomes apparent every time I find myself shaking my fist at someone in traffic or when the neighbor kid with the bass comes home and I curse him out loud.

When did I become so narcissistic that I still think people are reading this? Just kidding, I know you are still reading. I checked my stat counter the other day, and I 'd like to thank all 29 of you!

KicksGuide Artist Series

That's right, JUSTIN TAYLOR wins for October. You may remember earlier this year when I mentioned going to his graduation? For those of you with memory issues, this is my younger brother and I told you he had poweful artistic kung-fu. Which is half the reason I haven't put anything up this weekend. I've been working on a site for him. The obvious other half of that reason? I'm lazy. He's also been interviewed for a magazine called Sole Collector and I even get a photo credit! Yeah, boy. It should be on newsstands this week, or you can just go to the site. Look under THE LIFE, then hit FOCUS ARTIST. I think. They haven't put it up yet, so patience will be a virtue.

Yahoo! News Photo

Yeah, this is good times right here in OK. Who says parenting is an entirley lost art?

Numenorean

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

Woo-ha! Yesterday was one of those days, I tell you what. Every single thing I saw on the news or just teevee in general got my dander up. It started off well enough with a trip to the range. I thought all days that start at the range were going to be good days by default? Well that's mostly true, as yesterday wasn't a 'bad' day, just a cantankerous one to say the least. In any event, there was much 223 and 9mm ammo for everyone and the paper didn't stand a chance. You see, Chris S. (outside of being just an all around good egg) is also a SSGT in the Air Nat'l Guard (correct me if I gave you a pay raise, Chris) and his firearms qual is coming up soon. So then who am I to shirk my patriotic duty when I own, and love to shoot, the weapons virtually identical to the ones he has to qual with? It would be downright unAmeican if I didn't get out the AR and 92 and insist that he fire them. So that's what we did.

After that, it was kind of a lazy day and I should've taken a nap. I'm sure that would've alleviated about 99% of the discontent rolling around in my noggin. Getting up that early after going to bed that late is not conducive to good vibes, if you get my drift.

Later, Aimee and I watched what I can only describe as one of those "wow" movies. Meaning that when you finish it, as you're sitting there in silence, all you can really do is say "wow". It's a Japanese film called Nobody Knows. It is about this completely negligent mom who leaves her 4 children alone in their apartment for weeks on end while she's out trying to scare up a husband. Akira, the oldest, is 12 and Yuki is the youngest, but I don't recall her age. Had to be about 5 or 6 though. The mother is played by an actress called simply You, and I know I have seen her before in something else, but I can't place her. IMDB was no help on that front. The acting was absolutely amazing considering they are all kids! 80% of the cast is children and they were rock solid. Especially Akira. The whole thing is based on a true story, but according to one reviewer over at IMDB, the truth was worse than the fiction. You should see this movie. I've got to give mad props to my amazing wife on this one because if it were up to me, I would've skipped it. The synopsis just didn't scream "see me" when I read it, but Aimee had a solid hunch on this one and it was right on the money. Did I mention you should see this movie? Yeah. I think I did.

That's right, kiddies. Today is the day set aside for remembrance of those who have served and those who have fallen in service to these United States of America--the greatest country in the world. Think I'm joking? When was the last time you visited another country that wasn't Mexico or Canada? It's been a while, but I've been around the world, literally, and this is THE one people. I can also tell you without an ounce of compunction that if you don't love it, get out. I'm tired of your whining. Find another country to call home, you traitorous bastards, and quit bothering the rest of us. May I suggest France? Or perhaps Canada. I hear it's a lot like France, only closer. But I digress.

Originally today was called Armistice Day, paying homage to the signing of the Armistice ending WWI. It wasn't changed to "Veterans Day" until 1 June 1954, to honor all those who served in American wars. ( 1 )

Speaking of wars, I really don't care which side of this Iraq situation you fall on as long as you respect the Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Air Force fliers who volunteered to do the job. Do you really get that? Think about it for a sec...VOLUNTEERED. Now I ain't saying that military service should be compulsory, as in Israel or Germany (well actually I am but that's a different post) but I think this country would be a far better place if every single 18-year old did at least 2 in service to their country. Maybe then some of this "me, me, me" mentality that I see everywhere would be curbed just the tiniest bit--and that would be a good thing. So like I was saying, take a few to pay some respect to those who've served--because as far as I'm concerned if you can't show respect to the volunteers who make up our Armed Forces, then you are a complete waste of skin and I would spit on your grave if given the opportunity.

If you look at my blogger profile, I've got December in my favorite music. Mostly because they are the absolute whatup when it comes to (what some people are calling) math metal, but also because I just can't resist the delicious irony of seeing December right there next to Edie Brickell. And yes, I do like Edie's stuff too--how can you NOT enjoy Oak Cliff Bra? I have most of Shooting Rubber Bands... and Ghost of a Dog as MP3s. Anyway, If you click the words, it will show you people who have also selected December as one of their favorites. It has become fairly obvious to me that these people are not, in fact, down with December. Rather, they are probably all about The Decemberists. Big difference, my wee kiddiewinkies. I mean seriously, and not to pick on old girl, but look at her profile. Do you really think, based on her other favorites, that Rebecca is that hardcore? Neither did I. But it still cracks me up every time I see it.

Poll: 83% want English state's official tongue-Metropolitan-The Washington Times, America's Newspaper

I wonder what would happen if this was a federal level vote that was taken tomorrow.

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com

Yeah. Not quite sure what kind of hood you have to live in before playing catch with grenades is standard, but in any case, these fine folks have probably earned thenselves a Darwin. Thanks to Chris S. for the link.

CNN.com - Chirac vows to punish rioters - Nov 6, 2005

Man, I bet they are scaaaaaaared now. I don't know about you guys, but I'm glad I'm not on Chirac's list.

Ladies and Gents, I have done the unthinkable. No, not that, you pervs.

I spent $8.50US on a mother lovin' hamburger. There's a new(ish) place in town, over on the very south end of Ed Noble parkway called Red Robin. Having never dined there before, I figured today would be a good day to give it a go, what with The Latch coming down for lunch and all.

We kicked around several ideas, but my tastebuds kept coming back to burgers. There's something about ground beef seared over an open flame that just makes me happy. So we got there around 12:30pm and were seated immediately. The thing that struck me the most was the constant din that overtook us as soon as we hit the door. The floorplan is very open, and they have tile floors. So you know what that means--echo! The open kitchen doesn't help diminish the volume level at all, but at least you can see that the guy preppin' your grub doesn't have any boils or open sores.

I will say right off the bat that the service was very good. Attentive but not overbearing and very polite. I opted for the Blue Ribbon burger and The Latch ordered a Sauteed 'Shroom burger. Almost immediately, we were presented with an appetizer basket of their giant freakin' steak fries. Nice touch. They also print right up front in the menu that the fries are free and bottomless. Another nice touch, although I wasn't even manly enough to finish my burger, let alone a bottomless order of fries. It may have been that while my body was awake, my stomach just wasn't ready for that at 12:30. Anyway, I'm partial to the steak fries over the 1/4 or even 3/8 fries you normally receive with a burger order, so bonus points were awarded. Finally, the burgers show up, and they look pretty, all neatly tucked in their little white paper coats, nestled ever so daintily atop yet another mound of steak fries. Presentation is obviously a concern.

Ah, but how did that burger taste, you ask? Just like every other burger. Nothing special, but by no means bad. Well, let me rephrase that a wee bit--just like every other restaurant burger. Chili's, Friday's, Shorty freakin Smalls, or whatever you have in your hometown across the street from, or even in, the mall-- you've already tasted the Red Robin burger. Honestly, I'd rate it right above Chili's, but not quite as good as a nice Goldies Patio Grill classic. Was it worth $8.5? Probably. Once you consider the fact that the fries aren't really 'free' but included in the price of the burger than it is a bit more reasonable. Think of it as a $6.5US burger with a $2 side of fries.

To be honest, hanging out with The Latch was better than the meal so in the really real world, it was all good. Next time, though, I'm taking him to Goldies.

This has to be the coolest thing I've seen all week. If you've ever wondered what happens in that thousandth of a second after you press the trigger, now you can know.

Enjoy.

On second thought, you should probably go to the ROOT of that page and watch them all. They are that good.

If the world at large can't figure out that there is a REPLY button that they can use intead of the REPLY ALL button in outlook. For the love of all that is good and holy, people, leave the REPLY ALL button alone unless you actually have something that we all need to see!

Many thanks to Chris S for doing the scan/ocr on this so we could share the hard copy with the internet. You may have seen these before, but look at this way: when you're done reading them, you'll have seen them again!

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (fl): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (fl): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Girafffti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and its like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (fl): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.


And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus (n.): A person who’s both stupid and an a-hole