June 29, 2006
You've seen it before...
And now you'll see it again!
Thanks to Rob (and to Carol, too) for sending this. I've received it multiple times and it keeps getting funnier every time I read it.
Enjoy.
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year
are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of
Health Human Services.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now think about this:
Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the US. is
80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million..)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all
age groups, is 1,500.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner
is . (.000 0 188).
Statistics courtesy of FBI
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT
ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely
out of hand!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Out of concern for the public at large, I have
withheld the statistics on lawyers
for fear the shock would cause people to panic and
seek medical attention
Thanks to Rob (and to Carol, too) for sending this. I've received it multiple times and it keeps getting funnier every time I read it.
Enjoy.
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year
are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of
Health Human Services.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now think about this:
Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the US. is
80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million..)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all
age groups, is 1,500.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner
is . (.000 0 188).
Statistics courtesy of FBI
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT
ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely
out of hand!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Out of concern for the public at large, I have
withheld the statistics on lawyers
for fear the shock would cause people to panic and
seek medical attention
// posted by wayne @ 6/29/2006 06:26:00 PM 
Where the sun don't shine?
Operation removes lightbulb from anus - Yahoo! News
Now I'm a sound sleeper indeed, but this is...well...someone's not telling the whole story.
Now I'm a sound sleeper indeed, but this is...well...someone's not telling the whole story.
// posted by wayne @ 6/29/2006 04:16:00 PM
June 27, 2006
Could you pass the U.S. citizenship test? - Being an American - MSNBC.com
Could you pass the U.S. citizenship test? - Being an American - MSNBC.com
Well I did. And so Did Dusty. Can YOU pass the test? I certainly hope so.
FWIW, I missed the one about which form you have to complete to be naturalized and (gasp) who is the current Chief Justice. Stupid brain!
Thanks to The Dusty for the link.
Well I did. And so Did Dusty. Can YOU pass the test? I certainly hope so.
FWIW, I missed the one about which form you have to complete to be naturalized and (gasp) who is the current Chief Justice. Stupid brain!
Thanks to The Dusty for the link.
// posted by wayne @ 6/27/2006 11:46:00 PM
June 23, 2006
Fun with PaintShopPro
Still finding reasons not to blog, mainly lazy-related, but effective nonetheless. Then Paul brought this to work. And it cracked me up immensely. The only problem was that they had printed the wrong slogan on the bottom. No problem--I fixed it for them. Kind of reminds me of the "meat alternatives" aisle in the freezer section at wm. Seriously now, has there ever truly been an alternative for meat that was not another kind of meat? I don't think so. And neither do you! Enoy.// posted by wayne @ 6/23/2006 03:15:00 AM
June 17, 2006
There will be blood...
I completely forgot to mention that we watched SAWII last weekend and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was not as good as the first but are they ever, really? There is a bit of a 'twist' at the end, which has become de rigueur in hollywood these days, that I didnt' see coming and that is always nice. Although there is one clue Jigsaw gives that is so obvious I thought to myself "surely he can't mean that" but indeed he did. Of course they left it wide open for SAWIII which isn't any surprise at all--given that hollywood is into "trilogies" now. Strange, that word trilogy. To me, anyway, that always suggests a truly important story of epic scope and scale. Then, just to prove me wrong, we got things like The American Pie "trilogy" and The Blade "trilogy". Conversely, we got the Aliens trilogy (+1 for good measure). Then there's my favorite: the Lord of the Rings. In any event, if you are down with the gore and can tolerate a bit of foul language (nothing even close to the level of Hostel) then you too might enjoy it. I know I'm looking forward to SAWIII this October, so we may have to organize a movie outing. Yes, I remember my self imposed rule about not going to theatres unless it's a Peter Jackson film or a truly HUGE movie event, but since they are keeping the same writer and director on board it should (he said with a slight hint of sarcasm) be just as good as II and II was pretty darn good for my money.
Oh, in a COMPLETELY unrelated topic, I'm still trying to make heads and tails of that Haditha incident so be looking for a post about that.
Oh, in a COMPLETELY unrelated topic, I'm still trying to make heads and tails of that Haditha incident so be looking for a post about that.
// posted by wayne @ 6/17/2006 06:24:00 PM
June 13, 2006
FOXNews.com - Cops Arrest Daryl Hannah, Others for Climbing Tree in Garden Protest
FOXNews.com - Cops Arrest Daryl Hannah, Others for Climbing Tree in Garden Protest
I guess someone forgot to tell these hippies that the land was not theirs? Silly hippies.
Now I'm all about planting trees and stuff (we've planted more trees than anyone on our street) but I like to do that on my land rather than squatting on another person's land. But I guess that's just me. And I don't really see the point in protesting and filing lawsuits when the LEGAL LAND OWNER decides to sell the land I have been illegally occupying. But again, that's just me.
Now I could be wrong, but I don't believe the right to peacable assembly applies when you're TRESSPASSING. I'm thinking a few rubber bullets or bean bag rounds, some pepper spray and it's Miller time. But that's just me.
I guess someone forgot to tell these hippies that the land was not theirs? Silly hippies.
Now I'm all about planting trees and stuff (we've planted more trees than anyone on our street) but I like to do that on my land rather than squatting on another person's land. But I guess that's just me. And I don't really see the point in protesting and filing lawsuits when the LEGAL LAND OWNER decides to sell the land I have been illegally occupying. But again, that's just me.
Now I could be wrong, but I don't believe the right to peacable assembly applies when you're TRESSPASSING. I'm thinking a few rubber bullets or bean bag rounds, some pepper spray and it's Miller time. But that's just me.
// posted by wayne @ 6/13/2006 05:45:00 PM
Thanks again, DimBulb
I got my "were really sorry we lost your information" letter from Uncle Sugar today. Which means, in addition to taking our data home against all reg's then allowing it to be STOLEN because he didnt' secure his laptop, this dimbulb has cost you, me and every single US taxpayer a combined total of $9,805,000 in POSTAGE STAMPS ALONE after all 26.5 million of us get our letters. About all I've got to say at this point is that old boy had BETTER be out of a job and facing very severe criminal proceedings.
// posted by wayne @ 6/13/2006 06:21:00 AM
June 05, 2006
Fun with the Canon A95
Homage to Ronald Reagan.
Decisions, decisions...
MEATS OF EVIL!
Wash...or die!
// posted by wayne @ 6/05/2006 04:06:00 AM
The World's UGLIEST Van.
Back innaday, when I worked with Jefe, there was this huge UPS-lookin' van that was used to transport flats and flats of panzies. Or any ornamental little flower that came in flats but mostly panzies. It seemed the thing was really only used twice a year so every time it was taken out it was kind of like pot luck trying to figure out of some squirrel had eaten through the coil wire, or maybe this would be the year the brakes gave out. Maintenance on that beast was not exactly priority number one when summer was in full swing. That monstrocity was driven most often by a madman named Jim, who could wreck or get stuck any vehicle faster than one would think humanly possible, and the one time I had to take a trip with him I swore it would be my last. I just new rounding the corner of 63rd and Mueller he was going to roll that stupid thing and I would be found dead, already buried in dirt and panzies. The point of all this is that the van was large, ugly and scary if you were unfortunate enough to be Jim's passenger. In fact, until Kongo's moved in across the way, I thought it was possibly the ugliest van ever produced. Now, I know different. Kongo's, by the way, is--get this--one half fitness center and one half sports bar/dance club/hoochie market. I don't know how the owner came up with the concept, but every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night it is jumping. The whole thing is shoe-horned into what used to be our friendly neighborhood Food Lion. Anyway, ladies and gents, I present what I consider to THE World's Ugliest Van. Verification by Guiness pending.
// posted by wayne @ 6/05/2006 03:32:00 AM
June 03, 2006
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it, WooWooWooWoo!
I was thinking again (yeah, I know--twice in one week!) and it occured to me that I still can't wrap my tiny bean around why so many otherwise smart people succumb to such foolish ideas. Well, one idea in particular anyway. To this day, I still dont' understand how people can actually believe that placing restrictions on how many, what type, what caliber or what color of guns you own will have any measurable effect on gun crime. California has probably, outside of D.C, the strictest, which really means the most ridiculous, gun legislation in the nation and they still can't stop people from shooting each other according to their own fact sheet. Even if we were to make it a felony crime for ANY U. S. citizen to own a handgun, guess who would turn them in and who wouldn't? Yep, you and me and all the other law-abiding citizens would turn in our guns (or at least the ones they KNOW we have) and the guys who are breaking the law already by posessing a handgun are going to continue doing so. In fact, taking that approach would probably double the people illegally posessing handguns, because you know as well as I that we (the law-conscious) aren't turning in ALL of our heaters, now are we? I could go on and on, but you've heard it before and this was really just a passing (or rather recurring) thought that I felt like carping about for just a few minutes.
Have a nice Saturday. And go shoot something.
Have a nice Saturday. And go shoot something.
// posted by wayne @ 6/03/2006 06:58:00 PM
WSWS : About the ICFI
WSWS : About the ICFI
These people are off their cracked little nuts.
These people are off their cracked little nuts.
// posted by wayne @ 6/03/2006 02:58:00 AM
June 02, 2006
I'm so bad.
I've been meaning to do this for some time now, but just kept forgetting. You will notice a new link to the right. It is a good blog, penned by the wife of a friend and what I've managed to read so far (she's very prolific) I've genuinely enjoyed and she is definitely linkworthy.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
// posted by wayne @ 6/02/2006 03:50:00 AM
Americans Are Killing America
I've been thinking about this for a while and I've come to the very obvious conclusion that the problems with this country are not with the government or the president or even the immigrants. Sadly, the problem with America is the Americans.
People keep blaming Bushy for running jobs out of our country. Not the case. He may not be doing all he should be to stop the outflow of labor, but he is not THE guy to blame. If you want to blame someone, blame yourself and your insatiable desire for cheap stuff. Now, let me tell you why I believe this to be the case.
Americans are a greedy lot, generally. We want lots of stuff, and we want that stuff cheap. If Best Buy doesn't sell it cheap enough, we'll go to Target. If their price still isn't to our liking, we'll go to Wal-Mart because you know they'll be selling it dirt cheap. They won't have it 6 months from now, but they'll be selling it now cheaper than anyone in town. The obvious consequence is that since Americans are a greedy lot, generally, the companies that produce these goods can't afford to pay their workers what their union tells them they need AND lower their prices enough compete with Wal-Mart's unstoppable buying power while at the same time keeping their CEO's bonuses nice and fat. Guess what happens next? That's right--companies capitalize on the fact that they can get the same, or an identical, product made in Mexico or China or Taiwan for 1/16 of what it cost to make in the good old US of A. It doesn't take an economist to figure out where Acme is going to build its brand new, state of the art widget factory, now does it? Our love (yep, even mine) of cheap stuff has run the jobs out of America, but our conscience won't let us believe that we did it, so we blame everyone else. It must have been Bush's economic policies. If it wasn't him then it must've been fluctuations in the global market.
Another part of this particular aspect is that a lot of the stuff we do continue to make here we just don't seem to make as well as foreign companies. Lots of folks will tell you that overseas companies are able to make more quality because the labor costs are lower so they can invest more in R&D or quality components or whatever. The moral of the story (to me) is this: if Detroit designed a better car than Tokyo, people would buy it. Period. Remember when AMF bought out Harley Davidson? Their quality control went down hard. Then, even though they were butt-ugly and Japan never really got the sound right, people started buying Japanese cruisers. Basphemy! Somehow, HD got their financial act together and were able to buy back the farm from AMF. First thing they did was fix the QC problems. The next thing you know, people are buying HDs again. Pretty soon they can't keep them in the show rooms, in spite of their exorbitantly high prices when compared with their Japanese competition. This is a perfect example of building the better mousetrap and illustrates my point perfectly. Or so I say.
Another problem with Americans in my opinion is that we just don't share the way we should. Before we get too much further, I just want to let you know that I am in no way advocating socialism. If you need to know why just ask a comrade from the former u.s.s.r and he'll be able to explain it fairly well. That said, we as a group make boat loads of money. Then we keep it and buy lavishly expensive monuments to ourselves. Sure, when things go wrong *cough*, *cough*, Katrina, we whip out the checkbook and give to Jerry Lewis or whomever so we feel better for the entire 15 minutes that the story is on the evening news. Once it is out of sight it is truly out of mind. I understand a lot of people give a lot of money to charities far and wide and that is good. Keep giving to Red Cross, Salvation Army, the Jesus House or your church. But what I'm really talking about are these guys who, even after running a company completely into the ground, causing massive layoffs and putting thousands of people out of work, are still given multi-million dollar bonuses, by the companies they hosed! When did that start? At what point did we start rewarding complete, utter and negligent failure with 6 figures? Remember Tyco guy? I'm too lazy to do the fact checking, but as I recall, he was given a fat, no make that PHAT (with a side order of bling) bonus to step down after almost killing the toy maker we all grew up with. Now what does that tell our kids? Speaking of kids...
Everyone seems to be inherently aware that every generation of kids gets worse and worse with regard to the crap they pull. Kids are getting freaky, getting high and getting arrested, if they're lucky, at increasingly earlier ages. But no one wants to be the bad guy and tell them to knock off that crap and act right. Doing that might bruise their tender egos, or hurt their precious self esteem. Or even worse, gasp, they might not like mommy or daddy any more. You know what? There were lots of times I didn't like my parents, but I never stopped loving them. They were my parents and I was lucky they did the 'unpopular' stuff like scolding me, grounding me, and spanking me it was warranted by my actions. So here's the thing--it doesn't take a village to raise a kid, just parents. You know the most disturbing trend I see among kids these days? The entitlement mentality. After years of mom and dad, not wanting to be the bad guys, GIVING little Johnny everything he ever asked for, he now has it firmly planted in his head that the world is supposed to GIVE him everything he asks for. Who ever would've guessed getting little Johnny the GI Joe with the Kung-Fu grip would lead to such devastation down the road?
Look, people--it is as simple as this: WE are the AMERICANS. If we want a better America, then, as logic would have it, we have to be BETTER at being Americans. We have to support our companies by buying their products whenever they earn our business. (Don't think I'm advocating buying overpriced crap just because it has a "made in America" sticker on it.) We have to help each other out and get rid of the welfare state we've created. And finally, we've got to raise our children to be the adults we'd like them to be. These are really just the starters, and I could go on about how we have to end liberalism, institute compulsory military service, make EVERYONE petition for citizenship, overhaul the entire central government and above everything else, get God back our daily lives, but I won't. That would take far too long and just end up making us all angry.
People keep blaming Bushy for running jobs out of our country. Not the case. He may not be doing all he should be to stop the outflow of labor, but he is not THE guy to blame. If you want to blame someone, blame yourself and your insatiable desire for cheap stuff. Now, let me tell you why I believe this to be the case.
Americans are a greedy lot, generally. We want lots of stuff, and we want that stuff cheap. If Best Buy doesn't sell it cheap enough, we'll go to Target. If their price still isn't to our liking, we'll go to Wal-Mart because you know they'll be selling it dirt cheap. They won't have it 6 months from now, but they'll be selling it now cheaper than anyone in town. The obvious consequence is that since Americans are a greedy lot, generally, the companies that produce these goods can't afford to pay their workers what their union tells them they need AND lower their prices enough compete with Wal-Mart's unstoppable buying power while at the same time keeping their CEO's bonuses nice and fat. Guess what happens next? That's right--companies capitalize on the fact that they can get the same, or an identical, product made in Mexico or China or Taiwan for 1/16 of what it cost to make in the good old US of A. It doesn't take an economist to figure out where Acme is going to build its brand new, state of the art widget factory, now does it? Our love (yep, even mine) of cheap stuff has run the jobs out of America, but our conscience won't let us believe that we did it, so we blame everyone else. It must have been Bush's economic policies. If it wasn't him then it must've been fluctuations in the global market.
Another part of this particular aspect is that a lot of the stuff we do continue to make here we just don't seem to make as well as foreign companies. Lots of folks will tell you that overseas companies are able to make more quality because the labor costs are lower so they can invest more in R&D or quality components or whatever. The moral of the story (to me) is this: if Detroit designed a better car than Tokyo, people would buy it. Period. Remember when AMF bought out Harley Davidson? Their quality control went down hard. Then, even though they were butt-ugly and Japan never really got the sound right, people started buying Japanese cruisers. Basphemy! Somehow, HD got their financial act together and were able to buy back the farm from AMF. First thing they did was fix the QC problems. The next thing you know, people are buying HDs again. Pretty soon they can't keep them in the show rooms, in spite of their exorbitantly high prices when compared with their Japanese competition. This is a perfect example of building the better mousetrap and illustrates my point perfectly. Or so I say.
Another problem with Americans in my opinion is that we just don't share the way we should. Before we get too much further, I just want to let you know that I am in no way advocating socialism. If you need to know why just ask a comrade from the former u.s.s.r and he'll be able to explain it fairly well. That said, we as a group make boat loads of money. Then we keep it and buy lavishly expensive monuments to ourselves. Sure, when things go wrong *cough*, *cough*, Katrina, we whip out the checkbook and give to Jerry Lewis or whomever so we feel better for the entire 15 minutes that the story is on the evening news. Once it is out of sight it is truly out of mind. I understand a lot of people give a lot of money to charities far and wide and that is good. Keep giving to Red Cross, Salvation Army, the Jesus House or your church. But what I'm really talking about are these guys who, even after running a company completely into the ground, causing massive layoffs and putting thousands of people out of work, are still given multi-million dollar bonuses, by the companies they hosed! When did that start? At what point did we start rewarding complete, utter and negligent failure with 6 figures? Remember Tyco guy? I'm too lazy to do the fact checking, but as I recall, he was given a fat, no make that PHAT (with a side order of bling) bonus to step down after almost killing the toy maker we all grew up with. Now what does that tell our kids? Speaking of kids...
Everyone seems to be inherently aware that every generation of kids gets worse and worse with regard to the crap they pull. Kids are getting freaky, getting high and getting arrested, if they're lucky, at increasingly earlier ages. But no one wants to be the bad guy and tell them to knock off that crap and act right. Doing that might bruise their tender egos, or hurt their precious self esteem. Or even worse, gasp, they might not like mommy or daddy any more. You know what? There were lots of times I didn't like my parents, but I never stopped loving them. They were my parents and I was lucky they did the 'unpopular' stuff like scolding me, grounding me, and spanking me it was warranted by my actions. So here's the thing--it doesn't take a village to raise a kid, just parents. You know the most disturbing trend I see among kids these days? The entitlement mentality. After years of mom and dad, not wanting to be the bad guys, GIVING little Johnny everything he ever asked for, he now has it firmly planted in his head that the world is supposed to GIVE him everything he asks for. Who ever would've guessed getting little Johnny the GI Joe with the Kung-Fu grip would lead to such devastation down the road?
Look, people--it is as simple as this: WE are the AMERICANS. If we want a better America, then, as logic would have it, we have to be BETTER at being Americans. We have to support our companies by buying their products whenever they earn our business. (Don't think I'm advocating buying overpriced crap just because it has a "made in America" sticker on it.) We have to help each other out and get rid of the welfare state we've created. And finally, we've got to raise our children to be the adults we'd like them to be. These are really just the starters, and I could go on about how we have to end liberalism, institute compulsory military service, make EVERYONE petition for citizenship, overhaul the entire central government and above everything else, get God back our daily lives, but I won't. That would take far too long and just end up making us all angry.
// posted by wayne @ 6/02/2006 02:13:00 AM
