September 24, 2008
Man, am I in trouble!
For possibly the first time ever, breaking wind is a chargeable offense! This does not bode well for Wayne. Just imagine the ramifications: drop one in the office, your co-workers may now charge you with battery! Let one slip in the line at your favorite fast food joint (probably why it's happening in the fist place) and you may be up on charges faster than you can say "two all-beef patties...."
I laughed out loud when I read this, and I hope you do too--it's funny!
Read the shocking truth!
I laughed out loud when I read this, and I hope you do too--it's funny!
Read the shocking truth!
// posted by wayne @ 9/24/2008 09:32:00 PM 
September 18, 2008
Aaaah, the joys of Craigslist!
A person would think that by now I would have been able to find a bike. We've all heard the saying which goes something like "Man, I couldn't GIVE them my money!" And now I find myself in that very situation. I've finally got enough together to purchase a decent used bike and for the life of me, I can't find ONE BIKE that isn't somehow tainted, and therefore bad ju-ju. I set out a few simple rules for myself when I started looking, and I do mean just a few: no title issues (more on this in a second) less than 10K on the odometer and finally, that it would be (barring that once in a lifetime deal on something else) a Japanese V-twin sport/standard which automatically narrows down my field considerably. In fact, it narrows it down to just about a handful, which includes two bikes by Suzuki, two by Honda and exactly zero by Yamaha or Kawasaki. Of the Suzuki bikes, there are two models, each with two variants, one of which has two generations. So in actuality, there are 6 possible choices from that lot. Add in the two from Honda and you get exactly 8 bikes. And it isn't like these are 'rare' bikes. They are fairly common, with the Honda bikes being the more difficult of the lot to find. But not impossible. UNLESS, of course, you want to deal with someone who is sane, actually owns the bike and has a clear title. Which brings me to the subject of this particular observation: why is it that of the handful of owners I've contacted, only ONE of them has actually had the clear, clean title in their name and available to sign over? Too bad that one bike was a turd. Funny thing about Craigslist: those low-res pics can hide a LOT of ugly. Kelly, being the stand up guy that he is, was willing to drive down the street and check out said turd for me (obviously, we had high hopes going in) but a half-hour inspection revealed about $1792.00 of damage to a bike which was being listed for $3950. Obviously, I opted to skip on that one. Again, Kelly was willing to be my eyes and ears in his neck of the woods when he suggested another possible candidate. I had been in previous contact with the owner and all was looking good: bike was not a salvage or rebuild, it was the right year, the right miles at the right price and the guy seemed to be on his game. He even sent me TWO videos within an hour of contacting him and asking for more detailed pics. Today, he mentioned to me that the title was not yet in his name. Oi vey. Back to square one again.
Another constant hazard on the "C" list is the dreaded scammerpost. They always have a newer, low mileage bike in absolutely pristine condition that they simply must sell. It is usually a single mom type who won the bike in the divorce and has to sell because she has a deadbeat for an ex-husband. Almost without fail, the owner will be out of the country, but the bike mysteriously was left behind, and they are going to have moneybrokers or eBay handle the transaction for them. You'll get a 14-21 day inspection period, depending on the scam, and if it doesn't pass muster for any reason, they'll come and get it! Never mind that eBay has NEVER worked this way and if you do a google for moneybrokers, you can find out in about 5 minutes they are a company of ill repute created for, and probably by, scammers. If these people worked half as hard at a regular job, they could probably make a pretty decent living! And they are persistent, too. I had one guy going for a good dozen emails before he finally gave up on me.
So far, all I've accomplished is wasting Kelly's time and sending out about 75 emails just to confirm that when I had only about half of what I needed, the SVs and SuperHawks were falling from the sky, but now that I've got the cash money ready to go, they are all gone! Or in Pennsylvania. Go figure.
Joy.
Another constant hazard on the "C" list is the dreaded scammerpost. They always have a newer, low mileage bike in absolutely pristine condition that they simply must sell. It is usually a single mom type who won the bike in the divorce and has to sell because she has a deadbeat for an ex-husband. Almost without fail, the owner will be out of the country, but the bike mysteriously was left behind, and they are going to have moneybrokers or eBay handle the transaction for them. You'll get a 14-21 day inspection period, depending on the scam, and if it doesn't pass muster for any reason, they'll come and get it! Never mind that eBay has NEVER worked this way and if you do a google for moneybrokers, you can find out in about 5 minutes they are a company of ill repute created for, and probably by, scammers. If these people worked half as hard at a regular job, they could probably make a pretty decent living! And they are persistent, too. I had one guy going for a good dozen emails before he finally gave up on me.
So far, all I've accomplished is wasting Kelly's time and sending out about 75 emails just to confirm that when I had only about half of what I needed, the SVs and SuperHawks were falling from the sky, but now that I've got the cash money ready to go, they are all gone! Or in Pennsylvania. Go figure.
Joy.
// posted by wayne @ 9/18/2008 01:23:00 AM
September 08, 2008
Need to SALE?
I've been reading a LOT of motorcycle postings lately. Mostly on craigslist, some on ebay and even fewer in the local OKC rag (which is absolutely useless unless you want to buy someones used Harley--they should call it the Harley section, without a doubt). One thing I've noticed in all three venues is the use of SALE when the poster meant SELL. I have lost count of the number of posts which read something like "My loss is your gain, need to sale". This does not seem to be confined to the south-central part of the US, either. I've seen it in posts from DFW to PGH. While I don't expect perfect grammar--strike that--I don't expect 6th grade grammar when I'm reading through the CL, I would have thought, until now, that most folks know the difference between the verb sell and the noun sale.
Another practice which I would've thought to be de rigueur is a prompt, professional and courteous response to any and all questions asked by those trying to purchase your product. I am almost (notice I used "almost") amazed at the number of postings which read "great bike, email with q's. must sale quick so I can buy a car, baby on the way!" and nothing else. No phone numbers, no mileage listed, no title information nor even, in extreme cases, a year or model listed! One would think a person trying to sell something via the internet would check their email at least once a day, especially if that person directs interested parties to use the email link! I didn't think my standards are too lofty in this respect but it would seem so given the number of posters who have embraced this practice.
Obviously with craigslist, we are dealing with the unfettered, untrained masses with respect to internet commerce. I thought I had found a sweet deal on an older model GSXR 750 (which is probably the bike responsible for the repli-racer craze started back in the 80's) but the poster was obviously a younger guy, not yet familiar with simple concepts like manners, etiquette or even (dare I say it) common courtesy. I called him on Friday afternoon during a break at work. We had a horrible mobile connection and he stated he would have to call back because he gets (obviously) bad coverage at his location. No problem, I can understand that. When I got back to my desk, I realized the only number he had for me would be my cell, which gets equally bad reception inside our building. I call him from the land line and leave a message with my desk number. "No problem" I think to myself "I've covered all bases". After 5 hours had elapsed, I started getting that feeling. You know, the "something's up" feeling? I had a buddy call him during his break and the call goes straight to v-mail. Big surprise. The following Saturday, I get up early and call him from the house. SURPRISE! He answers then almost sounds like "oh, it's you. I thought I'd brushed off any interest you had last night by not returning your call." I clarify a couple of things about the title and ask when I can see the bike. He informs me that he is on his lunch break but gets off at 3pm and should be ready to show the bike by 4 to 4:30-ish. I tell him I'll call at 3:15 and get directions. He agrees and all is well. By now, you've deduced all was not well or I wouldn't be telling this version of the story. 3:20 rolls around and I'm helping a friend with a quick wiring issue on his bike. I call. I'm not surprised when, after listening to the absolute worst ring-back tone EVER, the call rolls to his voice mail. About 20 minutes later, I get a call from a number I don't recognize so I figure it's his land line and start preparing for the onslaught of excuses. NO SIR! Wrong number. That was a week ago Saturday and I still haven't heard from old boy, yet his bike is still listed. I tried to flag it, but I guess I've exceeded my "flags" from this IP or something because I'm getting no love, Dr. Jones. By the way, that is his correct cell number so feel free to call him at all hours of the day to ask if he has Prince Albert in a can.
Another practice which I would've thought to be de rigueur is a prompt, professional and courteous response to any and all questions asked by those trying to purchase your product. I am almost (notice I used "almost") amazed at the number of postings which read "great bike, email with q's. must sale quick so I can buy a car, baby on the way!" and nothing else. No phone numbers, no mileage listed, no title information nor even, in extreme cases, a year or model listed! One would think a person trying to sell something via the internet would check their email at least once a day, especially if that person directs interested parties to use the email link! I didn't think my standards are too lofty in this respect but it would seem so given the number of posters who have embraced this practice.
Obviously with craigslist, we are dealing with the unfettered, untrained masses with respect to internet commerce. I thought I had found a sweet deal on an older model GSXR 750 (which is probably the bike responsible for the repli-racer craze started back in the 80's) but the poster was obviously a younger guy, not yet familiar with simple concepts like manners, etiquette or even (dare I say it) common courtesy. I called him on Friday afternoon during a break at work. We had a horrible mobile connection and he stated he would have to call back because he gets (obviously) bad coverage at his location. No problem, I can understand that. When I got back to my desk, I realized the only number he had for me would be my cell, which gets equally bad reception inside our building. I call him from the land line and leave a message with my desk number. "No problem" I think to myself "I've covered all bases". After 5 hours had elapsed, I started getting that feeling. You know, the "something's up" feeling? I had a buddy call him during his break and the call goes straight to v-mail. Big surprise. The following Saturday, I get up early and call him from the house. SURPRISE! He answers then almost sounds like "oh, it's you. I thought I'd brushed off any interest you had last night by not returning your call." I clarify a couple of things about the title and ask when I can see the bike. He informs me that he is on his lunch break but gets off at 3pm and should be ready to show the bike by 4 to 4:30-ish. I tell him I'll call at 3:15 and get directions. He agrees and all is well. By now, you've deduced all was not well or I wouldn't be telling this version of the story. 3:20 rolls around and I'm helping a friend with a quick wiring issue on his bike. I call. I'm not surprised when, after listening to the absolute worst ring-back tone EVER, the call rolls to his voice mail. About 20 minutes later, I get a call from a number I don't recognize so I figure it's his land line and start preparing for the onslaught of excuses. NO SIR! Wrong number. That was a week ago Saturday and I still haven't heard from old boy, yet his bike is still listed. I tried to flag it, but I guess I've exceeded my "flags" from this IP or something because I'm getting no love, Dr. Jones. By the way, that is his correct cell number so feel free to call him at all hours of the day to ask if he has Prince Albert in a can.
Labels: Dazed and Confused
// posted by wayne @ 9/08/2008 09:18:00 PM
