Perception is Reality
link

Over at The Smedley Log, the author talked Thursday about a quote from the REM song, Driver 8. The quote was "Driver 8, take a break-we can reach our destination." I was drawn to the article because I really liked that album and remember the song. The author talks about creating our own meaning from ambiguous lyrics. In particular:

" I always thought of the song in terms of people I've known who seem to feel the world will spin wildly out of control without them having their hands on the wheel, so to speak."

Which is an interesting idea. (you should go read it, as a summary wouldn't do it justice.) My own interpretation of the lyric has always been much different, in that I always thought it was about needless persistence in the face of failure. How did I come up with that? Well, I have trouble picking out voices from background sounds. Consequently, I've always had trouble with hearing and understanding song lyrics (as an aside, when I get a song stuck in my head that won't go away, it is almost always instrumental instead of vocal). Anyway, until yesterday I thought the lyric was "we can't make our destination." Which would tend to create a different impression.

The thing is, now I'm wondering about all those songs that were deeply moving and powerful and were such a big part of my life. If my interpretations of them, which were so meaningful to me, were based on incorrectly hearing the lyrics, I have to wonder how many of them were just trivial nonsense instead of the profound messages I believed them to be. Of course, one of the beauties of the way we humans construct reality for ourselves is that it is what it is, until it isn't. More formally, we create meaning out of our perceptions. It doesn't matter if those perceptions are objectively correct. Our perceptions are correct (to and for us) until we are confronted with evidence to the contrary (and sometimes even that won't shake our belief in what we thought we saw or heard.)

So, when I first read yesterday's Smedley Log, I sort of panicked, thinking I was going to have to go down to the basement and drag out my old turntable and my box of albums and re-evaluate whether or not my old favorites were really what I thought they were. But, after having thought about the nature of constructed meaning for a while, I can now go to bed, comfortable in the knowledge that I was right all along (except when someone proves I wasn't).

Technical note: The first thing I've found in this version of Blog that bothers me is that the HTML blockquote tag doesn't seem to work. I guess I'll go lurk at the Blog Forum to see if there is a fix.

 

by Cziltang 
Posted: Friday, December 19 2003 12:14:42 PM

Anticipation and Dread
link

Rat Jr. has been counting the days and now it has finally come. No, I'm not talking about Christmas. 'Return of the King' opened today. I haven't been to see it yet. Not that I don't want to, it just that a variety of obligations will probably keep me out of the theater until the weekend. I have been awaiting this movie with no small sense of dread since I saw 'The Two Towers' last year. I love Tolkien, I loved the two previous movies (although I would rather some of the plot line changes hadn't been made) but given the amount of material involved I thought the first two were excellent. Its just that there are so many ways the conclusion could be disappointing. I took some time earlier to read some reviews. Generally they have been good, so maybe I'll just have to relax and try to enjoy the show when I see it. (Probably have to add my critique here in a few days.)

In some ways it seems silly to be worrying about a movie, but I am one of those people for whom 'The Lord of the Rings' is not just a cool book we read when we were younger. They were a connection to something lofty and honorable in the midst of my sordid everyday life. I first read them when I was in High School and for over a decade I re-read them every fall when the weather began to cool off. I read a lot back then, but always came back to the Trilogy. It was a reminder.

I look at that last paragraph and realize it is crap as writing goes. I'm just not going to be able to explain it in a satisfactory manner. If you know what I mean, you don't need me to tell you and if you don't, I can't. Oh, well, enough of that...

This is sort of a test entry, as I just upgraded to the newest version of Blog. So, I'm going to publish this and see whether or not I got it right.

 

by Cziltang 
Posted: Wednesday, December 17 2003 12:17:01 PM

Thank You
link

I just wanted to say a quick, public thank you to Fahim Farook and the folks at the Blog Forum. Due to their input, I've got the missing archive link problem fixed and the newest version of Blog is working well.

 

by Cziltang 
Posted: Wednesday, December 17 2003 12:16:20 PM

Smokin'
link

I've been smoking cheese this evening. Its good stuff, man, but it gums up the pipe... Actually, I've had 3 pounds of cheddar and gouda out in the smoker this evening. The trick to smoking cheese is to keep the temperature in the smoker below 90 degrees (F). If it goes above that for even a few minutes the cheese melts, so its a lot easier to do in the wintertime. The neighbors think I'm nuts, running the grill in the snow, but that's OK. Normally I would wait for the weekend to do my smoking, but tomorrow is the holiday party at work, and I really didn't want to cook anything. I was thinking about making venison enchiladas, but haven't gotten the meat from the co-worker who had a successful hunt this year. Its probably just as well, as I know at least 2 of the staff are vegetarians. I was running a bit late this morning and happened to catch part of the president's press conference and again this evening the Head Rat was watching the Diane Sawyer interview. It kind of pains me to say it, but I am more and more convinced that Dubya has something that has been lacking in the Presidency for some time. The phrase that comes to mind is "courage of his convictions," a phrase I heard a lot in church when I was a kid. It seems to fit. At any rate, it appears to me that he is going to do what he believes is right whether that looks like it is going to be politically advantageous or not. Something I find incredibly amusing is the persistent assertion from the left that Bush is a bumbling idiot. The fact that he is not the most polished extemporaneous speaker seems to me to be irrelevant; just something that people who want to hate him can latch onto. Consider this: in order to consistently make the adaptations and adjustments that have driven the ongoing processes in Afghanistan and Iraq, Bush would either have to be a lot more intelligent that he is given credit for being or an incredibly lucky idiot savant on the order of Chance the Gardner in Jerzy Kosczinski's "Being There." Anyway, not that it matters, but I have more and more respect for him as time goes on. Don't get me wrong, some of his staff are scary and I'm worried about his domestic policy, but that doesn't alter the fact that I respect the man, and I think that may be the first time I have ever said that about a sitting President (I sort of vaguely remember Johnson but my actual political memory goes back to Nixon). by Cziltang 
Posted: Tuesday, December 16 2003 10:57:01 PM

...you may be driving a station wagon!
link

First, let me say I am not in any way, shape, or form, advocating limits on what people can do with their money. I'm okay with conspicuous consumption, if that's what people want to do. I don't want anyone else telling me what I can or can't buy or whether it is good for me or not. That said: The Head Rat is having some problems with a ruptured disc and I took her to the doctor today. Afterwards, she was pretty miserable, so I went to get her a caffe mocha, as it is something she likes as a treat. (Yes, I went to Starbucks. I prefer going to a local coffeehouse that has better product and better prices, but Starbucks has a drive-thru... and yes, I do appreciate the delicious irony of writing about other people's consumption patterns that I noticed on the way home from buying a $4 cup of coffee.) On the way back, I noticed the overwhelming number of SUV's on the road. Given that there are no mountains in Kansas and the opportunities for offroading are a bit limited unless you are chasing cattle in a pasture, one has to wonder why anyone would need to spend that much money on a glorified station wagon. Of course, I know SUV's are really about lifestyle statements; its the outdoorsy, active lifestyle thing. (I think it was George Carlin that said Attilla the Hun had an active, outdoorsy lifestyle.) But just in case anyone is confused, as a public service, I thought I would put together a little guide:

1. SUV's that only have 2 wheel drive are really expensive station wagons. 2. SUV's that have leather seats are really expensive station wagons. 3. SUV's that have color TV's and DVD players for the kiddies are really expensive mini-vans. 4. SUV's that only get off the pavement if someone accidentally backs over the edge of the driveway are really expensive station wagons. 5. SUV's that have low profile tires, gold wheels, are lowered to 3 inches off the ground and have hydraulics look like boxes blowing down the street in the wind, are really stupid, and a motel room would be cheaper for making out.

If anyone can think of any others, feel free to submit them. What do I drive? A beat-up (thanks in no small part to Rat, Jr.) Ford pickup that hasn't been washed since June. on to other matters I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I kept putting it off, partly because I'm lazy and partly because every time I got ready to do it I found that something had changed and instead of making this entry, I ended up reading the new stuff. I've been following the development of a web site called multiple streams for several weeks now. What attracted me to the site was the rational, civilized essays, but there has been other good material on the site. Recently the site has been expanded to include a second site called The Smedley Drafts which has original poetry and a blog which has been going for about a month now. The development of the site fascinates me, and I've moved the blog into my daily read group. Go check it out, but be prepared to spend some time contemplating material that I think is uniquely thoughtful. by Cziltang 
Posted: Monday, December 15 2003 08:34:46 PM

The Disappearing Mr. Cziltang
link

It appears it has been 3 weeks since I last made an entry. It seems like it has been longer than that. I've been avoiding the internet, e-mail, and blogging, partly by design and partly because I made the unfortunate tactical error of running a phone line to Rat Jr.'s computer. She apparently lives on Yahoo Instant Messenger. This tends to limit my on-line access. Of course, I could always write this stuff off-line and then upload, but I'm dealing with one of those blocks again. I have something I want to write about and because it is fairly recent and I am still furious about it, I'm having a tough time. I've started to write it several times in the last 3 weeks and ended up deleting it each time. In the process, I've had to think about how I write and why. One of the paradox issues I deal with when I write is that I was profoundly influenced by "stream of consciousness" writing. When I was younger I tried to do everything as a "stream of consciousness" exercise. I was trying to get at truth, beauty, honesty, etc. without the constraints of format and form and without the internal censorship that normally inhibits expression. There are a few pieces I wrote in that manner which aren't too bad, and when I wrote them I remember getting into a groove or zone or something and it was like I wasn't really writing; I was just holding the pen and turning the pages as they filled up. That zone is rare for me, and in any case, while "stream of consciousness" works for describing experience and feeling, it just doesn't hold up for reasoned communication of ideas. The problem is that unless (and even sometimes when) I get in one of those zones, the english grammar that was hammered into me by my teachers and my parents (who were teachers) and my desire to be clear in my ideas leaves me in the position of extensive editing, which destroys the whole point of "stream of consciousness." And, of course, that's why I haven't been able to write about this thing that happened at work. I'm angry and so, without even thinking about it, I've been trying to communicate that, but in trying to do so, I keep giving out more details about the situation than I'm comfortable with, so I start to edit, destroy the feeling and end up scrapping the whole thing. So, while it might be therapeutic for me to rant about having to put one of our mentally ill clients in jail, if I want to talk about the situation I'm going to have to treat it like an essay and structure it formally. Besides, I don't think anyone who might read this will be seriously offended by not reading an extended whine... On a housekeeping note, I want to thank Fahim Farook for taking the time to take a look at my archive link problem. He thinks I can solve the problem with a newer version of the Blog software, so I'm going to upgrade in the next few days. For what it's worth, I am grateful for his assistance and for taking the time to check it out personally. If you haven't noticed, I have a rather pronounced contrarian streak in my nature. I have a separate hard drive where I'm running Linux in an effort to get comfortable enough with it that I can quit using Windows. I have been using Mozilla Firebird as a browser for some time now. I have experimented with a number of e-mail clients and finally installed Mozilla Thunderbird. So far it looks good and doesn't seem to have some of the glitches I had with some of the others while using Firebird. Its not that I hate Bill Gates, I just don't like the corporate arrogance. Well, that's probably enough rambling for tonight, I've got to get to work early tomorrow.by Cziltang 
Posted: Sunday, December 14 2003 08:54:51 PM