Some things are just too painful
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I had occasion to spend the afternoon today in the municipal court in the small town where I grew up. I get so wrapped up in the stupidity and irresponsibility of some of my clients that I forget that, as criminals go, they are not the least sophisticated criminals out there. Sitting in that courtroom, listening to those people was one of the most painful experiences I've had in a long time. As near as I can tell, none of the individuals I saw appear to have been creative enough or intelligent enough to be funny. It was just pathetic.

Mostly I just wanted to scream. Or slap people up side the head and tell them to shut the hell up. Generally, the more you try to explain to a judge the stupider you sound, and these folks did not need any help sounding stupider. I saw one woman who was charged with criminal trespass. Apparently she was waiting for a ride and wouldn't leave a fast food restaurant, so the cops were called. And I was sitting there wondering how obnoxious you would have to be to get kicked out of a fast food restaurant while waiting for a ride when I heard her tell the judge she didn't remember the address of the place she was staying this week and that her husband had kicked her out of the house over some drugs.

Then there was the guy that failed to turn himself into the county jail to do his weekend 48 hour sentence on a DUI charge, who when asked why he didn't show up told the judge he had "personal reasons." He was, of course, incensed when the judge suggested he was something of a risk to show up for his next court appearance.

The only bright spot was that I know the prosecutor and had a chance to talk to him for a couple of minutes. He was one of the elders in the church when I was growing up. He was also the one who introduced me to Kahlil Gibran. Strange that I should remember that in the midst of all the stupidity around me.

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OK, now that I've re-read what I've written, I think it sounds mean-spirited. I didn't mean it that way. I really am not making fun of these folks. And it was painful to watch, sad in a way I really can't describe. I'm not sure why it is important to me to be clear on that, but for some reason it is. Perhaps I am so used to being cynical that I don't feel confident of my ability to communicate anything else. Or perhaps that I'm afraid it won't ring true.

by Cziltang 
Posted: Monday, February 23 2004 08:25:54 PM

More Stuff
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The Blog upgrade seems to have worked OK. So I've got just a few odds and ends that have been rattling around in my head that I want to get out.

I'm not a particulary superstitious person in most respects. Friday the 13th doesn't bother me. I don't mind black cats. I don't pay particular attention to cracks in the sidewalk. I only avoid walking under ladders if there is someone or something that could fall on me. I do, however, have one superstition concerning computers that really annoys me, but I find myself falling back on it in spite of my best intentions.

When I connect to the internet, I watch the icons in the system tray that show packet movement up and downstream. Back in the days when I had a 28.8 modem and downloading anything was a real chore, I started watching the icons because sometimes the download would sort of freeze for no reason I could fathom. On a 28.8 modem download, any delay meant a significant portion of your life was being wasted. Although I am not a big Microsoft fan, I discovered that sometimes when the download froze, if I chanted "Bill Gates, Bill Gates, Bill Gates," the download would resume. (yes, I know it was just coincidence, but, much to the chagrin of my rational self, I still find myself chanting if the little lights stop blinking...)

I hadn't really thought about it, but the Head Rat noticed last night that I've been at this particular blog for a year now (or will have been later this week). I guess that's something of a milestone, although there were a couple of incarnations of Ratlands that I had up for a couple of weeks using other software in other places. Still, it has been about a year and frankly, that is longer than I thought I would stick with it.

Actually, I didn't think I would need to stick with it that long. My original intent was to use Ratlands as a forum for sorting out some of my ideas and beliefs, especially political ideas. In some respects, the process has been more successful than I had hoped. In others, I am still working on it. In any case, it is cheaper than therapy, so I'll probably be at it for quite a while.

One strange coincidence; when I was walking through the building at work the other night I noticed that one of the clients looks an awful lot like the skinhead leader that kept getting the crap kicked out of him in the movie Formula 51.

by Cziltang 
Posted: Sunday, February 22 2004 10:46:06 PM