The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped
prove existence of a new element. In early October, 2005, a major
research institution announced discovery of the heaviest element yet
known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium".
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by
forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton
like particles called peons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction
to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less
than a second.
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity
in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium
(Am) - an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv since it has
half as many peons but twice as many morons.
