What's it say on the front of a Polish grocery store?
"Food for Rent."
How did the Polish man beat the rap when he was arrested
for indecent exposure?
Charges were dismissed for lack of evidence.
What do you call a cute Polish baby?
Adopted.
What did the Pole do when his wife informed him she'd just given birth
to triplets?
He went looking for the other two guys.
Did you hear about the Polish editor who couln't read his paper?
It was all Greek to him.
When the Poles invented the toilet, how did the British improve it two
years later?
They put a hole in it.
How come the Pole returned his necktie?
It was too tight.
What should you do if a Pole throws a hand grenade at you?
Pul the pin and throw it back.
Why do Polish names end in "ski"?
They don't know how to spell "tobaoggan."
LETTER FROM A POLISH MOTHER TO HER SON
Dear Stanislaw,
Since I remember you can't read too fast, I'm writing very slowly.
You won't know the house when you come home---we moved. It was a lot of
trouble moving, especially the bed. The man wouldn't let us take it in
the taxi, which wouldn't have been so bad if you father hadn't been in
it at the time. About you father---he has a new job with 500 people under
him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.
There's a washing machine at the new house but it isn't working too well.
Last week I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen
them since.
Yesterday your little brother came home from school crying. It seems that
all his classmates have new suits. We can't afford a new suit, but we're
going to buy him a new hat and let him stand by the window.
Mary had her baby this morning, but I haven't heard yet whether it's a
boy or a girl, so I don't know whether your're and aunt or an uncle.
Uncle Mike was drowned last week in a vat of vodka at the distillery.
Four of his workmates dived in to save him, but he fought them off bravely.
We cremated his body, and it took three days to put the fire out.
Anna got a factory job in the city, and I'm sending her some clean underwear.
She says she's been on the same shift since she got there.
Your father didn't get much to drink at Christmas. I put a pint of castor
oil in his scotch and it kept him going till New Year's. He came with
me when I went to the doctor on Thursday. The doctor put this little glass
tube in my mouth and told me to keep it shut for five minutes. Your father
offered to buy it from him.
It only rained twice last week, once for three days and once for four.
On Monday it was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four
times.
You Loving Mother
P.S. I was going to enclose $25, but I already sealed the envelope.
Heard about the Pole who snorted Sweet'n Low?
He thought is was Diet Coke.
Why is it the Poles have no luck raising chickens?
They plant the eggs too deep.
Why did the Pole marry his dog?
Because he had to.
Heard about the Pole who---
Lost his girlfriend because he forgot where he'd laid her?
Wouldn't go out with his wife because she was married?
Took his pregnant wife to the supermarket because he heard they had free delivery?
Called his girlfriend Tapioca because she could be made in a minute?
Thought Peter Pan was a washbasin in a whorehouse?
Applied for a job as a lifeguard in a car wash?
Blacks | Ethnic Variegated | Old Crappy Jokes | Handicapped | Polish | Jewish |
