Consider this. Your cat loves everything about you: your living room couch, the food you eat, the bed you sleep on, your television set. He enjoys sharing these things with you. Yet, many cat owners take up more space on the bed at night than their cat; and change television channels indiscriminately; and refuse to offer a seat to their cat at the dining table.
Modern life makes demands on the cat. Only the fittest survive today. Here is a typical schedule of a cat, trying to cope.
4:30am - Owner turns around in bed, waking up cat.
5:05am - Owner, still asleep, pulls the blanket over his head---and the cat's next to him on the pillow. Disturbed by all this activity so early in the morning, cat seeks refuge deep under the blanket.
6:00am - Owner turns around, flattening cat under his belly. Cat lets out a piercing cry and scratches him.
6:01am - Cat retracts his claws.
6:02am - Owner shoves the cat off the bed. Cat bounces back like a rubber ball, landing smack on owner's face.
6:30-6:45am - Owner wipes blood off his face and tries to go back to sleep.
7:00am - Cat moves to far side of the bed, taking most of the blanket with him.
7:30am - Alarm clock goes off. Cat knocks clock off the night table to stop the noise. Clock keeps ringing. Cat pounces on it. Clock stops ringing. Forever.
7:31am - Owner staggers to bathroom. Cat jumps on sink to watch him shave and then on the side of the bathtub to see him take a shower. When owner begins to sing, cat promptly leaves in disgust. He returns to bed to catch up on lost sleep.
7:40am - Owner puts on his shoes and accidentally sits on cat.
7:41am - Cat goes back to sleep on the floor. Owner trips over him and falls on his face. Cat follows owner to living room and goes to sleep in the living room couch.
8:15am - Owner leaves for work.
9:30am - Cat wakes up and goes to the kitchen to have breakfast.
9:35am - Passing his dish, cat jumps up on the kitchen counter, reaches into cookie jar. Eats one cookie, returns to living room and goes back to sleep.
12:30pm - Cat pays another visit to the kitchen, to help himself to another cookie.
1:30pm - Cat moves to the windowsill to check out the birds. Satisfied, he returns to the couch.
1:45-2:30pm - Cat sharpens his claws, tearing off what is left of the upholstery. He then digs a hole in the carpet.
2:35pm - Cat goes back to the kitchen for one more cookie.
2:45pm - Cat climbs up the living room curtains for exercise. Exhausted, he goes back to sleep.
6:15pm - Owner returns.
6:20pm - Owner mixes beef and gravy for cat, who will have no part of it.
6:25pm - Owner offers cat fresh Beluga caviar. Cat accepts.
6:40pm - Owner sits down in his easy chair to read the evening paper. Cat parks himself across the center spread.
6:41pm - Owner pushes cat off.
6:42pm - Cat jumps back.
6:43pm - Owner pushes cat off.
6:44pm - Cat jumps back.
6:45pm - Owner pushes cat off and moves to couch hoping for a chance to read his paper.
6:46pm - Cat follows him and jumps in his lap.
6:47pm - Owner pushes cat off.
6:48pm - Cat jumps back, tearing paper in half.
6:49pm - Owner hurls cat against the wall across the room. Cat lands on feet and grins.
6:50pm - Cat return's to owners lap.
6:51pm - Owner gets up and walks to the kitchen to make a sandwich.
6:52pm - Cat clings to his trousers. Owner tries to shake him off.
7:15pm - Owner succeeds in separating cat from his trousers. He sits down to watch football on television. Cat jumps on his shoulders, gazing fixedly at owner's pastrami sandwich.
7:16pm - Owner asks: "Want half of my sandwich?"
7:17pm - Cat nods.
7:30pm - Cat watches television for a while, but loses interest in the outcome of the game. He leaves for the bedroom.
10:30pm - Owner joins him.
10:45pm - Cat wakes up and takes position.
11:30pm - Both owner and cat go to sleep, though not necessarily in that order.