| So
far there have only been a handfull of songs and music numbers on Futurama
so I decided to transcribe them here along with the episodes from which
they appear. Go forth and make a joyfull sound!
THE WHALERS SONG
from The Series Has Landed
Montage:
'We're whalers on the moon,
We carry a harpoon,
For they ain't no whales
So we tell tall tales
And sing our whaling tune.'
ROBOT HELL SONG
from Hell is Other Robots
Robot Devil
Cigars are evil, you won't miss them,
We'll find ways to simulate that smell,
What a sorry fella, rolled up and smoked like a panatela
Here on level 1 of robot hell
Gamblings wrong and so is cheating
So is forging phoney IOU's
Let's let lady luck decide
What type of torture's justified
I'm pit boss here on level 2
Ooh, deep fried robot
Bender
Just tell me why,
Robot Devil
Please read this 55 page warrant
Bender
There must be robots worse than I,
Robot Devil
We checked around there really aren't
Bender
Then please let me explain,
My crimes were merely boyish pranks
Robot Devil
You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks!
Bender
Aww, don't blame me blame my upbringing!
Robot Devil
Please stop sinning while I'm singing!
Robot Devil
Selling bootleg tapes is wrong
Musicians need that income to survive
Beastie Boys
Hey Bender's gonna make some noise
With your hardrive scratch from the Beastie Boys
That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha you get on level 5
Fry
I don't feel well,
Leela
It's up to us to rescue him,
Fry
Maybe he likes it here in hell,
Leela
It's us who tempted him to sin,
Fry
Maybe he's back at the motel,
Leela
Come on Fry don't be scared,
I'm sure at least one of us will be spared,
So just sit back and enjoy the ride,
Fry
My ass has blisters from the ride
Robot Devil
Fencing diamonds, fixing cock fights
Publishing indecent magazines,
You'll pay for every crime,
Knee deep in electric slime,
You'll suffer til the end of time,
Enduring tortures most of which rhyme,
Trapped forever here in robot hell!
SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER
from When Aliens Attack
Bender
Single Female Lawyer
Fighting for her clients
Wearing sexy mini skirts
And being self-reliant
...Single Female Lawyer
Having lots of sex...
GRUNKA LUNKA WORKSONG
from Fry and the Slurm Factory
Grunka Lunka's:
Grunka lunka dunkity doo
We've got a friendly warning for you
Grunka lunka dunkity daces
The secrets of Slurm's on a need to know basis
Asking questions in school is a great way to learn
If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke
We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm
It could easily happen again to you folks
So keep your head down and keep your mouth shut
Grunka lunka lunka dunkity dot!
Later at the secret door:
Grunka lunka dunkity-gredient
You should not ask about the secret ingredient!
Grunka lunka dunkity darn guards...
BIRTHDAY SONG
from I Second That Emotion
All:
'What day is today?
It's Nibbler's Birthday,
What a great day for a Birthday,
Let's all have some cake.'
Fry:
'And you smell like one too.'
THE LEGEND OF EL CHUPA NIBRE
from I Second That Emotion
Duane (Mutatnt):
Gather round children for the Legend of El Chupa Nibre
He creeps and crawls in the midnight hush,
Silent as a low flow toilet flush,
Watch your step, cause sooner or later,
He'll eat you whole, and half your alligator
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
from Xmas Story
Amy
He knows when you are sleeping,
Farnsworth
He knows when you're on the can,
Leela
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass
From here to Pakistan
Hermes
You better not breathe,
You better not move,
Bender
You're better off dead I'm telling you dude
Fry
Santa Claus is gunning you down
ROBOT XMAS CAROL
Various Robots Including Bender
...So lock your doors and hit the floor
Cause Santa Claus comes tonight
BUREAUCRAT SONG
from How Hermes Requisitioned His
Groove Back
Hermes:
When i was two there was a hurricane in Kingston Town
with a foot and a half of water
Everyone was alright, but I cried all night
It blew my alphabet blocks out of order
And they say
this boys born to be a bureaucrat
born to be all obsessive and snotty
I made my friends and relations fill long applications
to get into my tenth birthday party
Labarbara:
But something changed when my man turned pro
Hermes:
I was sorting but I wasn't smiling
Labarbara:
He forget that it's not about badges and ranks
Hermes:
It's supposed to be about the filing!
People,
We didn't choose to be bureaucrats
No that's what our mighty Ja made us
We treat people like swine and make them stand in line
Even if nobody paid us
They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats
They say we're anal, compulsive and wierd
But when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
Even if it's not a good idea
Zoidberg!
Zoidberg:
They said i probably shouldn't be a surgeon
Farnsworth:
They poopooed my electric frankfurter
Leela:
They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye
Bender:
I am Bender please insert girder
Hermes:
Everybody sing Jamaica!
All:
Jamaica!
Hermes:
Just the bearuacrats - Jamaica!
Bureaucrats:
Jamaica!
Hermes:
Just the grade nineteens!
Morgan Proctor:
Jamaica.
Hermes:
Sing me home,
When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
Even if it's not a good idea!
POPPLERS JINGLE
from The Problem with Popplers
Fry/Bender
Pop a Poppler in your mouth
When you come to Fishy Joe's
What they're made of is a mystery
Where they come from no one knows
You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em
You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em
If you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose
MY BROKEN FRIEND
from Bendin' in the Wind
(Note: Many of the verses in this song were accompanied by Beck
on the tail end but are not transcribed as such here)
Bender
People say my broken friend is useless
But I say his mind is free
There's lots of things my mangled robot
friend could be
He could make a good hat rack
Beck
He only has to stand there
Bender
Or a cheap door stop
Beck
He doesn't need to move
Bender
Or a great big giant thermos
With a twist off top
Beck
That would be good for soup
Bender
He could be a storage closet
Bender,Beck
For outdated pants
Beck
I like 'em tight
Bender
My broken friend could do it all
Bender, Beck
Just give him a chance
Bender
That robot has a tragic secret
That I'd like to share
Beck
For real?
Bender
My broken friend is closer to me
than an ass to a chair
That robots name I never told you
You could not foresee
I'll say it loud and sing it proud
Bender, Beck
His name is you and me
Bender
Don't melt me down into a crow bar
Beck
It suffers alone
Bender
Just cause I can't move my arms and legs
Or toss me into a trash can
Just cause I can't cook you ham and eggs
Don't crush me into an anchor
Just because I can't jump and dance and sing
I'm telling you my broken friend
Put your hands in the air like you just don't care
I'm telling you my broken friend
Can do most anything!
Yeah!
NEPTUNIAN ELVE WORK SONG
from A Tale of Two Santa's
Neptunian Elves
We are free and clearly sober
With so many toys to build
The machines are kind of tricky
Probably someone will be killed
But we gladly work for nothing
Fry
Which is good because we don't intend to pay
Neptunian Elves
The elves are back to work today
Hooray!
We have just a couple hours
To make several billion gifts
And the labor isn't easy
Leela
Then you'll all work triple shifts
You can make the job go quicker
If you turn up the controls to super speed
Neptunian Elves
It's back to work on Xmas eve
Hooray.
Leela
And though your cold and tired and ugly
Your pride will mask the pain
Fry
Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Neptunian Elf
Theres a toy lodged in my brain
We are getting awfully tired
And we can't work any faster
And we're very very sorry
Bender
Why you selfish little bastards!
Do you want the kids to think
That santas just a crummy empty handed jerk!
Then shut your yaps and back to work!
Now it's very nearly Xmas
And we done the best we could
Fry
These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Leela
And their made from inferior wood
Bender
I should give you all a beating
But i really have to fly
Robot Santa
If I weren't stuck here frozen
I'd harpoon you in the eye
Neptunian Elves
Now it's back into our tenements
To drown ourselves in rye
Leela
You did the best you could i guess
And some of these gorillas are OK
All
HOORAY! (we're adequate!)
The elves have rescued Xmas day
Hooray!
DAISY
from Love and Rocket
Bender
Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer do,
I'm half crazy, all for the love of you
It won't be a sylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet, upon the seat,
Of a bicycle built for two
BENDER WAGON SONG
from Where the Buggalo Roam
Bender:
We got a right to pick a little fight with rustlers,
Somebody wants to pick a fight with us,
He better bite my ass
YeeHaw!
PHAROH AND HIS PETS
from A Pharoh to Remember
Osirian
Pharoh my god-king
you are cold and deceased,
Are you still half insane?
Ph-Ph-Ph-Pharoh and his pets...
...but the years went by and Pharoh died,
Suzy went and joined him in the afterlife...
DON'T MESS WITH EARTH
from A Taste of Freedom
Head of the ACLU
You can eat my dog,
You can eat my truck,
But you eat my flag and you're out of luck!
She's 'awaven proud around the world,
From Dallas to Ft. Worth,
Let me say it again...
Don't mess with Earth!
...Don't-mess-with-Earth.
Kill Zoidberg!!
THE NEW JUSTICE TEAM THEME (THEME FOR THE
NEW JUSTICE TEAM)
from Less Than Heroes
Go, go, go New Justice Team
Go team, go team, team team team
Whose that newest Justice Team
The New Justice Team
Captain Yesterday is fast
Also he is from the past
Not just fast but from the past
Captain Yesterday!
Super King has all the powers of a King
Plus all the power of Superman,
Also he's a robot
Ain't it cool? Super King you rule!
Cloberella beats you up
Cloberella beats you up
Who does she beat up? You!!
Cloberella!
Citizens, never fear
Crazy do-good freaks are here
Until they run out of steam...
Miracle cream, miracle cream
Gives the power to the team
Its effects wear off for sure
So they just slop on some more
The New Justice Team!
THE NEW JUSTICE TEAM ENDING THEME CREDITS
In typical Fox fashion this song and animation that played over
the end credits was not aired. It is sung to the same music as the above
song and will more than likely be able to be heard on the Season 4 DVD's
when they are released.
Go, go, go New Justice Team
Fighting justice is their quest
Super King, Cloberella
And all the rest
Here's to you new Justice Team
Do the things that make a team
Help each other do some things
Winners don't use drugs!
The New Justice Team!
BEE HAPPY
from The Sting
(Note: The 'bee' in the 'bee happy' chorus is sung by a space bee
and the 'happy' line is sung by the character mentioned in the transcript)
Amy
In every life, we have some trouble,
Bender
But when you worry, you make it double
Bender/Amy
Don't worry, bee happy!
Professor
The landlord says your rent is late
Hermes
He may have to litigate
Bender/Professor/Hermes
Don't worry, bee happy!
Zoidberg
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ladies vomit when I smile
But does Zoidberg worry?
Feh! You wish
Don't worry, bee happy!
Hermes
Don't worry now Amy
Amy
OK, I'm happy!!
Bender
Take us home Bender!!
Don't worry!! Bee happy!!
TV PARTY TONIGHT!!
from Bender Should Not Be Allowed
On TV
Played over end credits and sung to the tune TV Party Tonight by
Black Flag
Bender
TV party tonight!
Farnsworth
Whu?
Bender
TV party tonight!
Farnsworth
Oh!
Fry
We've got nothing better to do
Leela
Then watch TV and have a couple of brews
Zoidberg
Don't want to talk about anything else
Fry
We don't wanna know!
Farnsworth
We're dedicated, yes
Hermes
To our favorite shows!
Cubert
All My Circuits!
Dwight
Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad!
Tinny Tim
Scary Door!
Leela
Blernesday Night Blernesball!
Bender
Futurama!
LEELA: ORPHAN OF THE STARS
from The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings
Captain
Who is this one eyed female baby Moses?
With courage in her female babies smile?
Orphans
A savior from the stars
Or something stranger still
Leela
Or just a lonely filthy starving child
Bender
Leela! Leela, Leela save him
Save Fry! Save Fry! Godzilla,
Will devour him as for me I must be off
To have my doctor check this cough
Goodbye
Fry
To win Leela's heart with the holophoner's art
I need hands of transcendental quickness
Robot Devil
Well I don't see any danger
In gambling with a stranger
For my head is of a most amazing thickness
I'm stupid! I'm stupid! I'm stupider than you
I'm stupider than you in every way
Robot Devil (spoken)
Stupider?
Bah! This opera is as lousy as it is brilliant
Your lyrics lack subtelty
You can't just have your characters announce how they feel
That makes me feel angry!
Fry (spoken)
Look, what do you want?
Robot Devil (singing)
I want my hands back!
Ahahahahahahaha!
Fry
Never!
A Deals a deal, even with a dirty dealer
Robot Devil
Very well, then I'll take what I want from Leela!
Leela has promised me her hand
Leela
Fry, you do not understand!
I should have revealed I've been deafened by Bender
the shame, the shame
But I feared you'd stop writing this musical splendor
Deceptions', the curse of my whimsical gender
He gave me mechanical ears
Effective yet just a bit garish
In return without shedding a tear
I agreed that I'd give him my hand...
Robot Devil
In marriage
Leela
What?
Robot Devil
You'll give me your hand in marriage
Hermes
Is this really happening or just being staged?
Farnsworth
It can't be real,
Amy
Not if Leela is engaged
Leela
That isn't what I meant, that isn't what I signed
Robot Devil
You should have checked the wording in the fine,
Print
Leela (spoken)
I'll give you my hand
Leela/Robot Devil (singing)
In marriage
Bender
The use of words expressing something other than
their literal intentions, now that, is, irony!
Robot Devil
I will marry her now and confide her to Hell
How droll, how droll!
Where Styx is a river and not just a band
Though they'll play our reception if all goes as planned
Unless Fry you surrender my hands!!
Fry
Destiny has cheated me, by
forcing me to decide upon
the woman that I idolize
Or the hands of an automotan
Without these hands I can't complete
The opera that was captivating her but if I keep
them, and she marries him
then he probably won't want me dating her
Farnsworth
I can't believe the Devil is so unforgiving
Zoidberg
I can't believe everybody is just ad-libbing!
Robot Preacher
By the power invested in me by the state of New New York
Fry
No!! Stop!
Take my hands, you evil! Metal! Dork!!
Robot Devil
Ahahahahahaha!!
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