Fag Hags- A Social Analysis / Media
There has been a recent rush in Hollywood for films dealing with
the issue of Fag Hags linked with the social obstacles of
Homosexuality. Two of the most famous, are "In and Out" and "The
Object of my Affection".
The premise of In and Out has to do with a man who does
not realize he is gay, and is engaged to an unknowing fag hag. When
watching the movie their relationship becomes a symbol for what many
fag hags experience. Joan Cusak plays the fiancé. Her personal
turmoil's with self-esteem issues and her fear of becoming an old
maid are very common fears of many of the women I talked to. There
is a commonality between the women I interviewed that often
self-esteems have suffered due to their experiences with straight
men.
When she discovers (at her wedding) that her
fiancé (Kevin Kline)
is gay, her reactions display frustrations that develop often given
the circumstances of being a Fag Hag unwillingly. She runs around
town searching desperately for a straight man, encountering more gay
men. She is part of a group that falls in love with the sensitive
types, not knowing that she has become part of a Closet attempt.
The Object of My Affection is the story of a woman who
knows that her friend is gay. They have a close relationship, and
when she finds out she is pregnant asks him to move in and be the
"father" because the biological father is not someone she wants
raising her child. She feels like they have a "marriage" type of
relationship, yet he longs for a personal life.
This is also a
sensation that often occurs. Women may look for a companionship and
find such with a gay man, not realizing that often the man involved
is looking for more. One of the interviewees I talked to told of her
grandmother who, for 12 years, dated a gay man, never admitting he
was gay but somehow always knowing. She was older, searching for
someone to spend her life with, even if sex was not a part of their
relationship. He was in part using her as a cover so that others
would not realize his orientation, but also dearly valued their
friendship. They still remain close, yet the grandmother finally had
to distance her desires for she was looking for a mutual love that
he was not able to provide.
At the end of The Object of My Affection, the woman finds
another whom she can reach her needs with, while the gay man remains
a close part of her and her child's life. He plays the "uncle" part
in the life of the little girl, yet both the adults realize that,
though companionship is necessary, each needed things the other
could not give.
Since the premiere of
Will and Grace on
NBC, the idea of fag hags has become more accepted. The show's
premise is that Grace Adler, an interior designer, moved in with her
gay best friend Will Truman, a lawyer. The show has a more "traditionally"
(as in stereotypically effeminate) gay character, Jack. Though each
of the characters can be critiqued for their simplistic
characteristics and being representative of common stereotypes, it
is also a gutsy show that brings to light the reality that
women often feel a special connection with their gay, male friends. The
show brings the situation of fag hags into the light of mainstream
lifestyles. It has paved the way for a subject that needs to be
talked about and understood. Next >>
