A Message of Addiction
I’ve come to visit once
again. I love to see you suffer mentally, physically, spiritually,
and socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax. I
want you jumpy and nervous and anxious. I want to make you agitated
and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable. I
want you to be confused and depressed so that you can’t think
clearly or positively. I want to make you hate everything and
everybody—especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and
remorseful for the things you have done in the past that you’ll
never be able to let go of. I want to make you angry hateful toward
the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel
sorry for yourself and blame everything but your addiction for the
way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy, and to
manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you
fearful and paranoid for no reason at all. I want you to wake up all
hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can’t sleep
without me; I’m in your dreams.
I want to be
the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you
touch before you black out. I would rather kill you, but I’ll be
happy enough to put you back in the hospital, another institution,
or jail. But you know I’ll be waiting for you when you get out. I
love to watch you slowly going insane. I love to see all the
physical damage that I’m causing you. I can’t help but sneer and
chuckle when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the
same time, and when you wake up with your sheets and blankets
soaking wet.
It’s amusing
to watch you make love to the toilet bowl heaving and retching not
able to hold me down. It is amazing how much destruction I can be to
your INTERNAL ORGANS while at the same time work on your BRAIN,
destroying it bit by bit. I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice
for me.
The countless
good jobs you’ve sacrificed for me. All the fine friends that you
deeply cared for—you gave up for me. And what’s more, the ones you
turned against yourself because of your inexcusable action-I’m even
more grateful.
And
especially-your loved ones-your family, the most important people in
the world to you-you even threw away for me. I cannot express in
words the gratitude I have for the loyalty you have for me. You
sacrificed all these beautiful things in life for me. But do not
despair, my friend, for on me you can always depend. For after you
have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even
more. You can depend on me to keep you in a living hell, to keep
your mind, body, and soul-for I will not be satisfied until you are
dead, my friend.
Sincerely:
Your Addiction
