THIS DIET IS DESIGNED TO HELP YOU COPE WITH ALL THE STRESS IN YOUR LIFE. THE STRESS THAT BUILDS UP DAILY... BREAKFAST: 1/2 Grapefruit 1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast, dry 8 oz. Skim Milk ===================================================================== LUNCH: 4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast 1 Cup Steamed Spinach 1 Cup Herb Tea 1 Oreo Cookie ===================================================================== MID AFTERNOON SNACK: Rest of the Oreos in the package 2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream 1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream ===================================================================== DINNER: 2 Loaves Garlic Bread with Cheese Large Sausage, Mushroom & Cheese Pizza 4 cans or 1 Large Pitcher of Coke 3 Milky Way Candy Bars ===================================================================== LATE EVENING NEWS: Entire Frozen Cheesecake Eaten Directly from Freezer ===================================================================== RULES FOR THIS DIET: 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do. 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, buttered toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake. 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner. 6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls. 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage. 8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae. 9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and Pistachio Ice Cream, Mushrooms and White Chocolate. NOTE: CHOCOLATE is a UNIVERSAL color and may be substituted for any other food color. ===================================================================== I'd like to thank the author of this very useful and sensible diet. However, I don't know who he/she is. This GREAT diet (as so many fine works do) just showed up at the office one day.... As I recall, it was sent anonymously on the fax machine.