Out Of Tune
by C. Fellows  2005


You know, being in tune is about as important to a performance as showing up.  All of the bands I go to see regularly are always in tune, but occasionally I'll see a new band out there that..... well..... here's an example:

I'm sitting in Canes and this band is setting up to play next... singer, drummer, two guitar players and a bass player... they have great equipment -except none of them has a tuner.  The first guitar player tunes up -does a decent job.  The bass player asks him to hit an E.  The bass player tunes his E string, and he decides its close enough, but it was pretty flat.  He tunes the rest of  his strings to his own flat E string. 

Second guitar player now asks the bass player for an E.  He tunes it close to the bass player's E, but he's not quite there either.  He tunes the rest of his strings to his own E string.  Now I'm sitting there waiting for this train wreck to happen.  None of them are in tune with each other, and none of them knows it.  

As you can imagine, despite all the obvious talent and skill these players might have had, they sounded absolutely horrible.  The audience was silent between every song.  The singer ended up so pissed off at the crowd he started telling us we didn't know good music when we heard it and that we could all fuck off. 

Hahahahahaha

My point here is, if you don't have a tuner... make damn sure you're in tune.  Ask the drummer to be quiet a minute so you can hear.  If that band mate of yours is tuning to you, listen to him too and tell him, "Wait Dude, you're sharp!"  Make sure he's in tune with you.  If he's not, then you'll sound just as fucked up as he does.

Or better yet, tell him, "GET A FUCKING TUNER YOU STUPID CHEAP ASS SON OF A BITCH!"

A word about tuners... even tuners can be ever so slightly out of tune with each other from one make or model to the next.  The best insurance against that is for everyone to use the same model of tuner..... not always practical, but still gives you a little tuning edge if you can manage it. 

Another thing.... most of the guitar players I know already know this, but you still see it occasionally.... when tuning a guitar or bass TUNE UP to the note, NOT DOWN to it.  If you go past the note (you're sharp) tune just below the note (flat) and come back up to meet it.  The reason for this is strings tend to bind at the nut,.  If you tune down to the note, when you start playing the string tension equalizes and the string slips, and you're right back out of tune.  I've seen some people use powdered graphite to lube the nut... I've seen them dig out the slots to allow the string to slide easier, but whatever.... Just remember to tune UP not down, PLEASE!!!!!!   

OK, one last thing... check the intonation of your instrument now and then.  Hit the harmonic at the 12th fret -then hit the fretted note at the 12th fret.  Do they sound exactly the same?  They're supposed to.  If they don't, then you either need to adjust your bridge or change your strings.  ONLY ADJUST YOUR BRIDGE WITH NEW STRINGS, because as strings age, they lose their harmonic qualities and elasticity, so if you adjust the bridge with old strings, the settings will not sound right when you put new strings on. 

Think of it this way.  When you hit the 12th fret harmonic, you're hearing the note at exactly half the length of the string.  This is the note you want.  If the fretted note is flat or sharp, you need to tune it to the harmonic.   

If the fretted note is higher than the harmonic, that means the length of the string from the 12th fret to the bridge is too short, and needs to be longer (to lower the note).  You adjust the bridge string adjustment back (away from the pickups) to make the note lower.

If the fretted note is lower than the harmonic, that means the length of the string from the 12th fret to the bridge is too long, and you need to adjust the string adjustment toward the pickups to shorten the length. 

At a show I once noticed a good bass-playing friend of ours (I won't say who) was perfectly in tune when he played the open A string, but once he got past the 5th fret it was wildly out of tune.  I got a chance to take a look at his bass about a week later and discovered the block for that string had jumped completely out of the saddle and was hanging on for dear life.  Yes, he had previously thrown it into the air and let it crash to the stage.  It took me an hour to pop that sucker back into position. 

In conclusion, I want to thank all my friends for playing in tune, staying in tune, and being the great musicians they are. 

 [/rant]