1. THINK HEALTHY and CURABLE! Julie's doctor was adamant that we not treat her as a sickie, but encourage her to stay healthy and stay on course for school and track seasons.
2. BE KIND TO YOURSELF; TEMPORARILY SETTLE FOR LESS: Julie was a perfectionist, straight A student. She's had to learn to back up and start with the basics, in terms of goal setting. During hypo times, she'd get done JUST what had to be done and then she had to learn to forgive herself for the rest. Just completing the class for credit and a passing grade, would be an accomplishment, by itself.
3. SEPARATE EMOTIONS and SELF ESTEEM FROM PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION: Julie realized she couldn't allow her exhaustion to trick her into thinking she was depressed, unhappy, or not the self-initiating, positive attitude and full of energy person she usually was...when not hypo. While doing the hypo thing, she's just going to be a whole different person. It's like being a split personality. It's NOT her!!!! She's NOT like that!!! She knew something wasn't "her", when she couldn't even hold her arm up long enough to brush her teeth! :)
4. GIVE IN, just this once: This is one time, when you can give in, a little, and not push as hard. It's a good time to sleep and just take care of yourself. Julie would sleep 12-14 hours a night, while hypo. Then, she'd go to a class, take a nap, eat, take a nap, sleep another 12-14, etc. Conserve and use wisely whatever energy you have. Sometimes, Julie felt like such a wimp! She was at her limits just carrying a floor vase into the hospital when she went for her RAI. I used to tell Julie, "If you're still sleeping this much or acting this lethargic in two months, I'll be the first to tell you to get back to work! But for now, you're off the hook!" :) Attitude is everything...but during hypo hell, allow yourself an attitude of acceptance, for what you can't change.
5. LET SCHOOL BE THE FRAMEWORK that holds you together: Sometimes it helps to have a routine and a program or set of goals to keep you focused and feeling you are getting somewhere, when everything else wants to drag you down. It's up to you to decide whether you will view school as another burden and obligation, or as your saving grace, and a constant positive activity in your life.
6. YOU MIGHT SURPRISE YOURSELF! Remember the feeling when you're finally getting over the flu or a cold? You feel SO much better! Well, Julie managed to break her own track records, time after time, despite all the interruptions in practices and training. It was almost as though the break did her some good. And the new feelings of energy, after being hypo, for so long, can really spur you on to great things. You may just come out of it all in better shape than you could have dreamed.
7. TRY TO NOT FRET or PANIC: When I first learned of Julie's thyroid cancer, and I realized all the craziness there would be, I was so upset. I remember crying uncontrollably, in the shower. I was at wit's end and felt totally helpless. I prayed, but I didn't feel God was listening. After Julie's surgery, when she went off to school, and things seemed more in control, I remember hearing a voice saying, "Why did you fret so much? Didn't I tell you, all would be well?" Don't borrow worries!! Concentrate on the wonderful predictions and the thought that you are STILL basically a very healthy person, with a very curable disease.
8. BEST, but not MOST CONVENIENT! People will say thyroid cancer is the best cancer to have, if you have to have cancer. Just remember, they aren't saying it's the MOST CONVENIENT cancer. The scheduling and the ups and downs are a confusing mess. Your longevity might be promised, but your sanity is not. Give yourself credit for managing your time and emotions.
9. OTHERS HAVE IT WORSE? Some thycans felt guilty for all their worries and concerns, after the Sept. 11th tragedies at the World Trade Centers. Remember, YOUR fears and concerns about your own life and health are very real and very intense and you have every right to experience them. The feelings are neither right, nor wrong. It's what you do with those feelings that makes a difference. If you try to organize a Jerry Lewis style telethon for your cause, I'd say you have things a little out of perspective. But feeling intense fear and panic is totally allowed and normal.
10. DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF A LOVE: There is a wonderful book called, "How to Survive the Loss of a Love". It explains that a "love" can be anything that has changed. It could be your expensive car that's been dented, or a degree that's finally been earned (loss of the striving for the degree), or the loss of a loved one. In the case of thyroid cancer, it can be the loss of your health and your image of yourself as being untouchable by things like cancer. Because it IS a loss of a love, be sure to deal with this, and allow yourself to grieve for your loss. Try not to dwell in grief, but be sure to recognize your loss. Then, move on and count those blessings.
11. UNEXPECTED PROBLEMS: A week after Julie's first surgery, she flew back to school and started classes. We thought all was well, until she broke out in a horrible rash. Nerves? New birth control pills? Who knows? But it hurt like heck, and seemed like the end of the world. Finally, the rash episode passed. And then came a day in a lab class, with close quarters, lots of people, a warm room, no lunch, low blood sugar.....and she passed out cold. Luckily, she didn't hurt anything, but she got to see what an ambulance ride to the hospital was all about. And in the process, she met a lady in her class, who became her "adopted mom" at school. Sometimes, good things happen out of bad things.
12. SPREAD OUT YOUR WHINING: Julie found she just had to be able to whine and complain when she was hypo. Her trick was to complain a little bit, to a lot of people, spreading it around so any one person didn't get tired of her whining. :)
13. KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!! While we were still waiting for the original diagnosis of thyca, we were headed to a doctor appointment one day, when Julie blurted out, "I want to go shopping." We asked, "For what?" And she said, "Bandanas..for when my hair falls out." Well, her father and I were horrified!!!! We didn't even know it was cancer, yet....and she was having thoughts of her hair falling out! We both wanted to smack her. Her humor has continued throughout the ordeal with thyca, and has saved the mood of the moment, many times.
14. KEEP GOOD PEOPLE AROUND YOU: The people who want to support you are probably new to all this, too. Help them know what they can do for you. Make them part of your health care team. Try to keep positive and energy giving people around you. You need people who will help you laugh, and encourage you, rather than people who treat you like a sick person.
15. FOCUS ON YOUR FUTURE: Picture yourself a year down the road, with a barely visible scar, a nondetectable TG level, a lot of good stories to tell, and another semester, or two, of school under your belt. Focus on all the thousands of people who have had thyca, RAI, etc., and are now running around, healthy as a horse. They DO survive and they even thrive, even if the first year, or two, are terrible scary and inconvenient.
Please inform me of any corrections or additions you think are needed. I will try to update and add to the list of links in the near future. I'd be happy to hear of information YOU would like to see provided.
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