(Well, it's not like morons think a lot of deep thoughts.)

	OK, here's the deal. I hate Lana Lang. With a passion. Now, there are some in the newsgroup that seem to think this is some sort of knee-jerk reaction, but truly it's not. I've given it a lot of thought. I've pondered. I've soul-searched. But the hatred remains. Now, if you're not like me, right about now you may be saying, "But why?" Well, let me tell you. I hate her preternatural prettiness. I've never been a big fan of that sort of "put it on a shelf" beauty - I happen to like my ladies a little more rough around the edges. Attitude. Personality. Hu-man-i-ty. Lana, on the other hand, reminds me of one of those pod people from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." I mean, isn't Clark supposed to be the alien on this show? But the Pretty Factor isn't the only one at work here. Oh no. There are sooooo many more reasons to hate Lana. For starters, I'm sick of her playing the snake charmer to Clark's Kryptonian Trouser Moccasin. Hey, Lana, you've got a boyfriend. Go and flash those goo-goo eyes his way, why don'tcha? Then there's the intelligence factor. I could sit down and make a list of at least twenty completely idiotic things Lana did in season one without even stopping to think. Want an example? OK, well, how does a person who grows up in Kansas not know that the last thing you want to do when a tornado is approaching is to get in your vehicle? Especially if you've already wrecked said vehicle, destroying any thoughts you may have had about outrunning the storm? Dumb. And then there's the Dead Parent Factor. Raise your hand if you're totally sick of hearing about them. Raise your other hand if you think it's just a bit bizarre for someone to regularly go out to the local graveyard (at night, even) and spend hours talking to the dirt. And what about the Talon? I'm supposed to believe that a high school freshman with absolutely no skills outside of cheerleading (another alien trademark, by the way), horseback riding, and the ability to irritate suddenly knows how to run a successful business? Oh, wait, maybe she's getting business tips from the Great Beyond. So THAT'S what she's been doing in the graveyard all this time - psychic spreadsheets with Ma and Pa Wormfood. And then, on top of all of this Clark-teasing and Talon-running and Dead Parent-gabbing, she still has time to get good grades in school - even though, based on a lot of the things that we've seen, she'd have a hard time thinking her way out of an open box? And do her hair and apply her makeup and dress like a fashion plate? And hang out with Whitney often enough to keep him from realizing "hey, I'm a senior, why the heck am I dating this freshman?" And fall off windmills and get blown up in gas main explosions and get sucked up in tornadoes? Her home planet must have 40-hour days. And don't even get me *started* on Kristin Kreuk's acting skills, which at present seem to consist of two blinks, a twitch, and a hair flip. Even the most well-written character can be utterly destroyed by a poor performance from the person playing the part, and I happen to think that calling KK's performance "poor" is actually giving her more credit than she deserves. So, with all this in mind, I've decided that I Believe Lana's Meteor Missed - because life in Smallville would be so much better if that space rock had creamed an entirely different member of the Lang family. And that's what this page is all about. Do you hate Lana Lang too, for any of the reasons I've mentioned or maybe even for some that I've missed? Then come on and join BLaMM!