Trials
(Early Spring)
When they came within sight of the camp, he was surprised to see the elves seated in a circle, with Sindo in the middle. Adaron slowed as they approached the circle, and Noldo and Lorien followed suit. They could see Sindo's face. Suddenly Lorien clamped down on his hand again.
Sindo was sweating, body taught, fists clenched, fighting; his breath was coming in gasps; he gazed at Naurloth wild-eyed and fearfully. Suddenly Alphaelin turned to look at Noldo, who stepped into the circle full of concern for his brother. Sindo jumped, and a spasm of pain crossed his face.
"What are you doing?" Noldo cried, and at that moment, Sindo burst into tears and fell on his knees at Noldo's feet.
Noldo turned on Alphaelin. "What have you done to him! Answer me!"
"He will tell you himself, " Alphaelin replied evenly, and Noldo seized his brother's shoulders and hauled him to his feet, pleading with him. "Sindo, what have they done to you? Sindo, talk to me. Sindo, stay with me." He turned back to Alphaelin and barked, "What did you do!"
Adaron stepped forward. "Sindo will explain it to you. He will be well. Give him time."
"You distracted me," Noldo accused him, raging. "You kept me away while they tormented him!"
"You may hold me responsible for his well being," Adaron soothed him.
"I will, " blazed Noldo, not really knowing what it meant and not caring.
"Do not fear. Soon he will speak."
Noldo held Sindo, who sobbed completely out of control, gasping for breath, wild-eyed and shaking.
Lorien, meanwhile, stood behind Noldo, slowly turning on her heel, scanning the circle of elven faces. Her fear simmered, and she knew that she was next, and she was somehow both afraid, and unafraid; afraid of what she would see, but unafraid of the looking, unafraid of the search. She waited, meeting the eyes of one elf after another. She slowly, slowly calmed down.
So did Sindo, and when he was able to meet Noldo's eyes, Noldo said to him, "Sindo, what have they done to you?"
Sindo shakily replied, "They-- they asked me for our story, and I let them read it from me. And then, they read it back to me again through their own eyes, and in their eyes and in their minds I-- I saw what I had done... I saw what I had done to you. Noldo, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." He fell apart again, and slid back down to his knees, wretched and miserable.
Noldo immediately knelt beside him, but Sindo was overwhelmed in grief and guilt, and could not respond. Noldo wrapped his arms around his brother and turned to face Alphaelin, glaring.
Alphaelin watched Noldo, not without pity, and shook his head. "We will say nothing tonight about this matter to you, " he said. "You wish us to tell you what we saw; but that is for your brother to tell you, and not for us. Adaron has spoken wisely; give Sindo time, and he will tell you all that must be said. Adaron, bear Sindo away to a place where he can consider his deeds, and rest."
Adaron knelt on one knee and gently gathered the still-wretched Sindo up like a child, and bore him out of the circle, and stopped, waiting for Noldo. Naurloth stood, quietly approaching Noldo. Noldo turned to Lorien, protectively, suddenly defensive of her.
But Lorien shook her head. "Noldo, please go with Sinda. I will remain here."
"Darling, no. Don't."
"It is best," she said gently. "It is my turn now."
"No! I won't let them do that to you too!"
Naurloth stepped forward and Noldo turned on him. "Leave her alone!"
Rinloss stood but Alphaelin halted him and faced Noldo. "You asked us to give her healing," Alphaelin countered.
"Like that?" Noldo cried, gesturing at Sindo.
"Perhaps," Alphaelin replied evenly.
"No!" Noldo roared his defiance, and Adaron was reminded of nothing so much as the vision of Doldo facing the dragon and protecting the body of his wife. He stepped quickly back into the circle, handing Sindo to Naurloth, and turned to Noldo. But Lorien got there first.
She plunged into Noldo's thoughts, pouring peace and comfort into his soul, and reassuring him that she would be all right. He vehemently disagreed with her, and she quailed; he had never been forceful against her thoughts before. He cried aloud. "No, Lorien, don't stay. Don't let them do this."
And suddenly his fear, that had been growing since the time he first called the elves, took shape: They will take her from me, they will separate us by force, and I will lose her. He abruptly released Lorien, and turned on the elves, opened his mind to all of them at once, and launched all the rage in his soul at them.
He took them completely by surprise, and more than one of them winced. Naurloth staggered, tightened his grip on Sindo and recovered. Rinloss stepped forward threateningly, with clenched fists. Adaron closed his mind at once, and came and stood behind Noldo.
The remaining seven elves recovered from their surprise, and turned their wills against Noldo. Noldo reeled; Adaron caught him and steadied him; he rallied, and attacked them again; they bore down on his mind, and he reeled again, and rallied yet again; and the third time they pressed down on his soul, he buckled, and passed out. Adaron was waiting to catch him as he crumpled, and he lifted him, bearing him out of the circle.
There was a moment's pause, as the elves considered what had just happened. Alphaelin and Aergeleb looked grieved.
"Savage little fool, " said Helkaris.
"Brave little fool," replied Mirthlûn, with a grim chuckle. "He has a fiery spirit. We could call him Little Feanor."
"A dangerous jest, and an ill omen," replied Aergeleb. "Still it was bravely done. His strength surprises me; I had thought him weak, and easily led."
"Of course he is weak, " Rinloss spat contemptuously. "He is just a mortal."
Alphaelin frowned, annoyed both at Rinloss's impertinence in contradicting an elder, and his narrow attitude.
"Nay," replied Mirthlûn. "I perceive he has learned to humble himself and seek counsel. He is passionate, and knows that his passions mislead him. He is not weak, I deem. Say rather that his strength has willingly been gentled."
Thorontir nodded thoughtfully. "He sets a watch over his passions, and submits it to the eye of another."
Mirthlûn replied, "His submission shows deep wisdom. Would that even Feanor had had that wisdom."
Rinloss rolled his eyes, and Aergeleb stifled a smile. Mirthlûn's grandiosities were often amusing. No one told him that, of course.
Alphaelin was watching Lorien. At Mirthlûn's last statement she turned on him such a smile that Alphaelin smiled to see it.
"Still," Helkaris replied, "Wiser watchmen and counselors would have served him better. He has rashly spoken an oath in haste, and no humility nor gentleness will save him from the breaking of it."
"That is yet to be seen," Alphaelin rebuked him, "and will not be judged by aught who sit in this circle. Set all such thoughts aside. Of necessity we subdued Noldo, and to my grief. We are met to bring peace and healing, not dominance. Let us return to the task at hand. Come, child."
"I am ready," Lorien said, stepping forward, and squaring herself before Alphaelin.
"Your courage becomes you, child. And now, sit down, and tell us your story."
Lorien sat in the center of the circle, and silence descended, softly shimmering like dew on the leaves, glistening in the starlight.
Half an hour further down the river, Sindo sat quietly weeping beside his unconscious brother, and at a discreet distance, Naurloth and Adaron kept watch. But although they were distant from the circle of elves, their eyes flickered and kindled, and they watched Lorien's story as well.
**********
The sky lightened steadily, although the mountains blocked the dawn's sunlight. Sindo, now dry-eyed and hoarse, still sat beside Noldo, who stirred, and opened his eyes, got up on his elbows and looked around. He saw Sindo, and far off he saw Naurloth and Adaron, and no one else. He lay back down.
"They have taken her, and we are prisoners," he despaired.
Sindo only met his brother's eyes.
Noldo waited. Slowly Sindo began to tell the events since the flight over the mountains as the elves had seen them, and apologize as he went. Knowing Sindo needed to release his soul from it all, Noldo tried to listen but his own misery made him quite heartsick and rather deaf, and early in the tale he soothed his brother and hushed him. Sindo nodded and set it aside for another time.
An hour later, they heard the thunder of hooves approaching; Noldo rolled onto his elbow, and gazed. Two riderless horses separated from the group and approached Adaron and Naurloth, who leaped onto them, and rejoined the company.
They stood wearily. Lorien was sitting behind Alphaelin, and she gazed at Noldo. He met her eyes, and she nodded at him gently. He wondered what that meant. He returned her gaze with all the tenderness he could.
Mirthlûn spoke to their three ponies; Hunter and Archer obediently approached the two hobbits and let them mount, and the pack pony wandered along behind them. As soon as they were mounted, Noldo found himself flanked by Mirthlûn and Thorontir, and Sindo was behind him flanked by Adaron and Naurloth. Alphaelin, with Lorien riding behind him, led the company with Aergeleb. Helkaris and Rinloss brought up the rear.
Lorien was a good deal shorter than Alphaelin, and could not see well over his shoulders. She often leaned to one side or the other to see forward. Sometimes she just looked straight up. Noldo wished she would turn around and look back at him more often.
They rode hard, in grim and complete silence, for seven long, long days, eating from their backpacks on horseback, and stopping only to sleep, or drink from the river. Noldo thought he would go mad. His only comforts were, knowing that Sindo was still with him, and when he caught a rare glimpse of Lorien's face, seeing the bloom and shimmer return to her cheek and eye. He did not dare seek her thoughts. The silence was deafening and oppressive and he was sorely tempted to begin a chatty conversation with Hunter. He steeled himself and waited, for what he did not know.
What surprised him were small kindnesses from Mirthlûn and Thorontir. Although everything proceeded in the same eerie silence, at every meal they were courteous, and their glance was always respectful and kind. Had he known it, Sindo was puzzling over the same kindness from Adaron and Naurloth.
On the seventh day, Noldo and Sindo were teetering on the edge of self-control. Their escorts noticed, and when the pace slowed to a walk, Adaron offered Sindo one small sip from a flask. He was rewarded by seeing Sindo visibly relax, and he carefully gave him one more small sip. Sindo bowed his thanks, feeling somewhat better.
Adaron passed the flask to Mirthlûn, and Mirthlûn offered Noldo a sip. Noldo obeyed listlessly; Mirthlûn and Thorontir watched hopefully for a sign of rest or peace. But instead, despair surged within him; they were astonished to see his face contort, and he bowed over his pony's neck, desperately fighting off the rising flood of emotions. Mirthlûn and Thorontir exchanged glances of consternation. Thorontir spurred forward to Alphaelin and spoke to him. The company straggled to a halt.
"He is at the end of his strength," wondered Mirthlûn.
"He is in despair," Adaron countered, riding forward. "Noldo, listen to me."
Noldo did not move, but numbly surrendered his mind to Adaron, who sighed, and reluctantly but gently entered his thoughts and tried to encourage him.
"Let me," said Sindo, riding forward, and looking up at Adaron. "Let me try." He joined Adaron inside Noldo's mind, and nervously reminded Noldo of the settlements south of Amon Sul in Rhudaur and Dunland, along the Hoarwell and Bruinien. Gathering his courage, Sindo silently reminded him: "Stay with me, Noldo. We'll go riding and hunting, and we'll sing and laugh... "
"She will not be with us," Noldo grieved. "I will not sing, I will not laugh."
Sindo faltered, but Adaron replied: "That has not yet been decided. There is still hope. Take courage."
Noldo waited, wondering, not believing what he had heard in his mind.
Adaron explained: "The validity of her marriage oath has not yet been judged. For that judgment, we now seek the wise. We have ridden hard and we should arrive at Forlond tomorrow at sunset. Take courage."
Adaron and Sindo waited, and slowly Noldo straightened, and met Adaron's eye. A flicker of hope kindled. Alphaelin nodded, and turned his mount northward. Lorien looked over her shoulder back at Noldo, and he drank her gaze as the company reformed and walked south again.
Mirthlûn dropped back to ride alongside Adaron and asked, "Why did the Miruvor harm him and not help him?"
Adaron shook his head. "The release of grief is no harm, but great good. He has much to mourn for still. And when he has a moment's peace, I will help him find that grief again, if it does not find him first."
Shortly after that, Alphaelin set the company back into a gallop, and Lorien looked forward again. Noldo took comfort in watching her shimmering hair for the rest of the day.
*******
The Fairy Wife