Epilogue
Lorien crested the hill and looked westward, and saw Adaron, Thorontir, and Mirthlûn riding towards her. Behind them the sea shone, and it beckoned her; soon, she thought, soon. She urged her mount down the hill and met her friends.
One by one, they embraced her. Mirthlûn embraced her last, and sadly asked her, "Lorien, Faelnaneth, has your last child left you?" Knowing the answer, he held her fast as she wept. Thorontir and Adaron wept with her, and when her tears slowed, they mounted again.
Together they rode to Adaron's house, where his whole family awaited her. They greeted her with a mixture of joy and sadness. Lothlûn proudly displayed her infant daughter. "What's her name?" Lorien asked, and Lothlûn giggled. "Lhûnel we call her, Blue Star; but her birth name is Bereth Lhûnel, Queen of the Blue Stars." They laughed merrily. Mirthlûn smiled, but did not apologize.
Lothrin had also married, but as yet had no children. Adaron had hunted far and wide for the right husband, and had practically wooed the young elf himself on his daughter's behalf; and once again, Rinloss had been disappointed. Adaron was waiting for Rinloss to ask him why, because he honestly felt that someone should tell Rinloss about his quick temper and his judgmental attitude, and this would be the perfect opportunity; but Rinloss never asked, and neither did Helkaris.
The next ship was scheduled to leave in a month, and Lorien had planned to leave for Mithlond early, but Cirdan sent her word that the ship would pick her up at Forlond instead. She was grateful. There was no one in Mithlond that she particularly wanted to see, and she dreaded leaving Adaron's family.
They asked her to stay, and not to sail; Lothlûn begged. She listened with tears in her eyes, and was tempted as long as she gazed at them; but the moment she looked down or away, Noldo's memory and that of her children, and Sindo and his children, filled her mind. Forlond could not hold her.
Most surprising, to all but Adaron, was Thorontir. Adaron and Naurloth looked out into the garden one afternoon to see Thorontir kneeling before Lorien, earnestly pleading, his face wet with tears. She was weeping, but with pity, and Adaron knew that all Thorontir's hopes had been in vain.
"Father, " Naurloth asked, "if he wanted to be married, why did he not pursue Lothrin?"
Adaron shook his head. "Because he fell in love with Lorien. He has been waiting, and hoping, the past hundred and sixty years, that when the mortals that she loved had all left her, she would be able to love him."
"When did he realize that he loved her?"
"The winter we all spent in the cottage in the woods. He told me then that he finally understood Noldo's inability to rest without her that day we first arrived in Forlond. I do not think he has had much rest since."
"But Father, he had never courted her in any way."
"How could he? He had to wait, and hope, and say nothing."
"And now her mind is set to sail."
"Yes."
"Father, I had always thought that Lorien was meant for Sindo, and that her marriage to Noldo was due to Sindo's interference and her own stubbornness. But was I wrong? Was Lorien meant for Thorontir all along?"
Adaron sighed, fighting off tears of his own. "Such choices and such destinies we cannot even begin to judge," he replied. "Avoid such judgments, and do not dwell on them. It is difficult even for the very wisest to discern what should have been."
"But Father, you asked me to consider these things."
"Consider, yes. Judge, no." Adaron sighed. "But as to the heart of your question, my son, it would not surprise me to learn that Thorontir believes what you suggested. And that will only make his grief deeper."
Thorontir was no longer kneeling, but he was still pleading, still weeping. Adaron wished Lorien would leave him so that he and his son could comfort him, if they could. But one hundred and sixty years of waiting would not be wept away so quickly, and she did not leave him in his grief, but waited respectfully with him. He was grateful at least for her pity. Eventually Adaron and his son turned away.
*********
When Thorontir and Lorien finally left the garden, Adaron came to find him. What he saw worried him; a new grief was etched in his face. Adaron asked him why.
"She is not simply going to Valinor, " he replied, and tears began to flow again.
"What do you mean?"
"She is going to ask for permission to follow them."
"I don't understand."
"To follow Noldo. And her children."
Adaron was stunned. "How will she do that?" he asked, although he was afraid that he knew.
"She has been thinking about the choice of Luthien, and her audience with Mandos. And she wants to follow her husband and children. She misses them more than she wants to live."
"What will you do?"
"Do? What can I do? Her choice is made. All I can do is sail with her on the small chance that her request will be refused. But I do not think it will be."
"And if her request is not refused?"
"Then what rest will I find here?" Thorontir asked.
To that Adaron had no answer.
*********
NOLDO= LORIEN MALLORN
LUNDO
MALLORN
ADARO
MIRLO
THORO
LILY
DOLDO
ALFAELO
ARGELO
SINDO=WATERLILY FAIRBANKS
NAURLOTH
FORLO
LINDO
LOTHLINNOLIEL
MITHIEL
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