Calling
Above the Ettenmoors
Lorien was quite subdued when the two hobbits returned. After the venison breakfast, Noldo went around the north side of the hill to check on the ponies, and then returned.
Lorien approached him timidly. He took a deep breath, and met her eyes. "Lorien, come here, please."
She gladly came forward, and he took both her hands, and then he sat down. She climbed right into his lap.
"That wasn't what I had in mind, " he objected.
"Noldo forgive Lorien?"
"All right. Yes. I forgive you."
She snuggled against him happily.
He looked over to his father, and saw that Doldo was frowning and thoughtful. He rose and approached Noldo and Lorien.
"Let me repeat what I told your brother, " Doldo said very softly. "She's got to go back to her own people. You understand, don't you."
"Of course, Dad." Noldo gently disengaged Lorien, and sat her facing him, and took both her hands again. "Look at me, Lorien."
She looked at Sindo instead. He had been watching, and now he stood and joined them.
He stared hard at her, and focused on her eyes, with all of his strength and will. She flinched.
Sindo watched as Noldo concentrated harder, pushing at her, and then Sindo spoke. "You're trying way too hard."
Noldo scowled. "What do you mean?"
"Relax. Just let go."
Noldo nodded, and forced himself to relax. Distress crossed Lorien's face.
"No, no," Sindo laughed. "Just let your mind soften."
"Are you insulting me?"
"Idiot."
Lorien chimed in. "Idiot... idiot..."
Sindo tried hard not to laugh. "Lorien, no, " he smirked. She was offended, and turned aside and pouted.
"Look, Noldo. You don't have to do anything. "
"I'm not used to that."
"It's worse than that; you're just not like that. You'll have to go against your nature to do this."
Noldo only grew more determined. "Tell me what to do, " he insisted.
Sindo sighed, and thought. "It's like a book, lying on a table, open to a page. The book doesn't do anything. It's just open. Waiting. The reader does all the reading. The book's only concern is to remain open on the table." Lorien was watching them again.
Noldo thought this over for many long minutes, and then took a deep breath and touched Lorien's shoulder. Their eyes met.
There, thought Sindo. Now he's got it. He waited.
Noldo closed his eyes. Sindo was about to object, but Lorien smiled, so he waited. Apparently closed eyes were all right too.
Noldo sensed something, sensed a thought on the edge of his thoughts. He chose to let her closer, chose to let her look, read, see. He could sense her delight as she looked around.
A little closer. He waited. She drew closer still.
Lorien, he thought, trying to think gently; Lorien, call your people. Tell them to find you.
She smiled in his mind.
He tried again. Call your people. Tell them to come and find you.
Now her thoughts sounded clearly in his head: Come find me.
Yes, he thought. That's right. Call them. Good girl. Call your people.
Come find me.
Keep calling your people, Lorien. Call them until they come. Call them every day.
Come find me. He could hear her laughing in his mind.
He smiled. Keep calling them, Lorien. Call your people every day. Don't give up.
She was laughing like a spring rain, like a cheerful brook inside his mind. It was incredibly musical. Come find me, come find me. She laughed and laughed.
Good girl, Lorien. Call them. Good girl.
He gently closed his mind to her and opened his eyes, and looked up at Sindo.
"She's calling, " said Sindo, trying hard to hide his disappointment. "You did it. It worked."
"Splendid!" Doldo crowed, and pummeled Noldo's shoulder. "Good thinking, my boy. Splendid, splendid!" He looked very relieved.
Noldo smiled at him, and then at Sindo, but seeing Sindo's brave nod, Noldo's smile faded then. Doldo turned, and headed back towards Mallie and the fire. Noldo looked back at Sindo, and saw his face was strained. Noldo felt guilty, but Dad was right, and Sindo had to see that.
"My, People, " Lorien started.
"Don't start chanting!" Noldo snapped, but softened immediately. "Sing something nice. Something pretty."
She smiled, and a lovely tune began. But still, the words "my people" bubbled to the surface every so often, and sometimes they heard "Noldo," and sometimes "Sinda". She sang and sang, but she kept it pretty. Noldo reminded himself to be patient.
"She's still calling, " Sindo said softly. "Can you hear it?"
"Not listening, " Noldo said. "Wait. Let me try." As soon as he quieted a little, there it was. Come find me.
He nodded, satisfied.
Late that evening, Lorien was out in the woods alone. Doldo and Mallie had retired, and Noldo was heading into the hut himself. Sindo stopped him.
"Listen."
Noldo closed his eyes. (Come find me.) He smiled, and then chuckled. Good girl, he thought. I'm proud of you. Don't give up.
(Come now!)
Noldo withdrew, and opened his eyes, and clapped Sindo's shoulder. "It'll be all right, " he promised him. "Everything is going to be all right. We'll be just fine."
Midwinter
The stars glittered cold in the black sky. The low fire was now by the doorway of their hut; it warmed the large boulder next to the hollow, and the rock stayed fairly warm even when the fire burned low. Venison was hard to find in these moors, but rabbits were plentiful. Their main concern was making new arrows; they lost too many in the long grass hunting the rabbits.
They were glad of the rabbit fur, for Lorien's sake. She ate little, enjoying stewed rabbit no more than venison, especially since the Sorrel patch had gone dormant for the winter. She was usually cold. They had made her a cloak of rabbit pelts, and they wrapped her in every rabbit-fur they had, and still she shivered. She spent more and more time by the fire.
Except at night, when she went out into the nearby woods, and climbed a tree. She did this at least an hour every night, and came back cold. And while she was away, Sindo was distracted, restless, listening to her call. Sometimes he would leap to his feet, as if to answer the summons himself; sometimes he gave in to the impulse, and ran into the woods, searching ‘til he found the tree she was in; then he would sit down at the foot of it, and she would sing to him. But still she called as she sang.
Doldo fretted over his younger son. He seemed always distracted. He began to think that the staring game no longer involved staring, that Sindo and Lorien conversed more and more, at longer distances, for more reasons. It worried him.
Still, Sindo ate well, and tried to be cheerful, and persisted in obedience and respect. Ever since the boys' long chase in the woods, the quibbling over Lorien had stopped, and Sindo had much less "rescuing" to do. He gave Lorien a reasonable amount of respect and courtesy, treating her more like an adult. Doldo couldn't fault the boy.
Noldo kept an eye on Sindo. At first he listened, periodically, to make sure that Lorien was still calling. But after a while, he knew by Sindo's behavior, and did not have to listen for himself.
Early Spring
Three evenings in a row, Lorien did not go out to the woods. Noldo finally noticed that something was amiss, and asked his brother about it. Sindo shrugged and looked away.
"She stopped calling, didn't she."
Sindo didn't answer.
Noldo got up and went to Lorien, and sat down with her. "Lorien, did you stop calling your people?"
She nodded.
"Why?"
"You never came."
Noldo laughed. "You weren't calling me. You were calling your people. Keep calling them. They will come."
For an answer, she reached up and took his face in her hands, and met his eyes. He sighed. Her speech was better now; he had hoped this would not be necessary. But he took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.
Longing washed around the doorway to his mind. He welcomed her steadily, and the longing grew.
You miss your people, he thought. I'm sorry.
My people are Sindar and Noldor, she thought. Sinda and Noldo, my people.
They will come for you. Don't give up. Keep calling them.
Only Sinda comes. You don't come. You don't listen.
Noldo took a deep breath. He sensed a trap closing in on him. ...So if I come, sometimes, like Sinda does, will you keep calling?
Come find me.
Keep calling, he thought. Keep calling. Don't give up.
She released his hands, and stood, and went out into the dark. He sighed, not in the mood for hide and seek, but he knew this was a test. He kept his mind open, and she kept calling.
He listened. Tell me when to come looking for you.
When he found her, she sang for him. He listened for a while, and when he turned towards home, she came down and walked home with him.
Late Spring
When the garden produced fresh leaves and roots, Lorien's color returned, and the spring came back into her step. The change was dramatic enough that the whole family commented on it. Mallie was immensely relieved. Sindo laughed and joked with her, albeit without words. Sometimes Noldo grew so curious he eavesdropped, and whenever he did, he could sense welcome and delight in Lorien, and a hint of jealousy in Sindo, quickly controlled and overcome.
The nights grew warmer, and they stayed out later under the stars. Doldo, concerned, followed them both one night, as Noldo and Sindo both headed out into the woods looking for Lorien. He sat under the tree with them as they listened to her sing. It seemed harmless enough. Perhaps he worried too much.
Some nights she did not come home until dawn. Mother soothed their worries, saying that healthy elves did not always need sleep, and that if Lorien was tired she would take care of herself. And indeed it seemed to do her no harm.
One night Noldo woke from sleep haunted by longing and a deep sadness. He rolled over to check on Sindo, and found his blankets empty. Mother and Dad were fine, breathing softly. He stood and left the hut.
Sindo was not on the hill. He closed his eyes, listening, and in the midst of Lorien's call-- Come find me-- Noldo thought he sensed Sindo just inside the woods; the sadness was his. Noldo sought him out.
He was standing and weeping, with Lorien's call pulsing inside his thoughts. He heard Noldo approaching, and turned slightly.
"Are you all right?" Noldo asked, knowing he wasn't.
"Six months, " Sindo said. "She's been calling them for six months. And they haven't come."
Startled, Noldo realized that Sindo was as angry as he was sad. He put his arm across his brother's shoulders, but could find nothing to say.
Sindo drew his sleeve across his face, but the tears started fresh when he was done. "They have hearts of stone."
"Come on, " said Noldo. "Let's go find her. Perhaps she'll sing."
They did, and she did. But afterwards, she came down from the tree, and they sat at the foot of it, and thought together about the stars, and the warmth of the night, and the pleasures of summer. Only then did they wander home.
*******
The Fairy Wife