Sindo
(Still mid-autumn)
The night was raining and pitch black. Doldo gave orders that Lorien and Mallie would sleep in the newly dug room, and he would sleep in the older room between Sindo and Noldo. Lorien had wept much of the evening, and fallen asleep exhausted in Mallie's arms. Noldo now suspected that Sindo's thought-sharing with her was even more extensive than he had guessed.
Sindo's restlessness did nothing to allay his suspicions. Sindo was as angry as Lorien was distraught, and tossed and turned. Noldo listened to him torn between fear and pity. Doldo waited until Sindo calmed down and his breathing because regular before he lay down and slept himself.
Noldo's dreams were restless, and Sindo featured in them. He fled from his brother again and again, only to find a knife at his throat. Distraught, he woke, to find that it was true. The knife blade rested under his right jaw. Sindo had crept over their still-snoring father, and Sindo's voice spoke in Noldo's mind: Don't move.
Noldo realized that if he planned any counterattack, his brother would be able to sense it and foil it. And if he closed his mind to his brother, Sindo would assume that he was going to counterattack and slit his throat anyway. Noldo lay perfectly still, and tried to think very gentle thoughts.
Yes, you're in a bit of a fix, aren't you, Noldo.
Mercy. Sindo, have mercy on me.
You had none on me today. You took my reason for breathing. You stole her from me. Again. You always steal her from me.
I love you. I'm tired of seeing you in pain. I--
Don't talk to me about pain. You have no idea.
No, I don't.
You have no idea.
What are you going to do?
Look and see.
Noldo was afraid to, but more afraid not to. He looked. Sindo showed him his rage, his anger, his jealousy, his despair; then he showed him his many and varied schemes for ending his brother's life. Noldo struggled against despair, and Sindo silently laughed at him.
All this, because she loves you and not me. She showed you yesterday, how much she loves you. I was watching. I saw it too.
Sindo's jealousy became more than Noldo could receive. Instead of opening to it any further, Noldo reached back inside his own heart, and thought of his affection for his brother. He thought of Sindo's first hunt, of chasing a buck across the mountain pass together, of swimming in the Langwell River. He thought of birthday celebrations, of Sindo's first beer at the inn. He felt Sindo wavering, ever so slightly. He gathered hope, and brought out happy memory after happy memory of Sindo and Noldo together, talking, laughing, joking, riding, hunting.
He was so focused on bringing up his love for his brother, he hardly noticed when his brother closed his mind and withdrew. He wondered when the coldness of the knife had left his throat, but it wasn't there now. Once he became aware of it, Sindo's absence was suddenly disconcerting.
On a sudden hunch, he sat up, probing desperately for his brother. Had he left the hole? He dodged out, clumsily waking his father. Doldo rolled to his feet. "Find Sindo, Dad, " Noldo whispered. Cursing, Doldo followed him out.
The rain was miserable, and no probing would locate Sindo, but suddenly Lorien was beside him. "Noldo, help Sinda!"
"Where is he?"
"That way. He's very angry!"
"Find him! Call him, out loud!"
"Sinda!" she screamed. "Sinda!" She broke into a run.
Sindo's shaking voice called an answer. She ran to him; Noldo followed. He heard Sindo burst into tears.
"No, no knife, " Lorien said; she had taken it from him. He had buried his head in her hair and was sobbing.
"What happened?" Doldo demanded, catching up. Noldo stood beside them, and she gave him Sindo's hunting knife. Noldo showed it to his father.
"He called out to me in his thoughts," Lorien said, and now she was in tears too. "He said goodbye."
Doldo looked at the knife again, and realized that the situation was still worse than he had yet realized. He gently took his son into his arms, without pushing Lorien away, and held him as he sobbed. When he ran out of tears, they went back to the hole, Lorien returned to Mallie, and Doldo kept watch over Sindo ‘til dawn.
The next morning, Noldo sat next to Sindo and opened his mind to him. Sindo stirred, and sat up, looking at him, a wild mix of emotions.
Noldo thought: It was hard to lose thought sharing. I know it's become important to you. Share thoughts with me.
I don't know. You're not nearly as sweet, nor as pretty.
Of course I'm pretty. I've stunned everybody on this moor with my dazzling loveliness.
If the ponies think you're pretty, I don't.
I meant the rabbits.
Get out of my thoughts.
Really?
No.
What happened last night?
I'd rather not think about that.
Later then. I love you, you little idiot. You're the peskiest thing around. Don't do that to me again.
I thought Lorien was the peskiest thing around.
I was grateful to her last night, let me tell you. She found you quick.
I thought we weren't going to talk about that.
Stay with me, Sindo. You're going to move into the hobbit hole next door to me, and we're going to go riding and hunting together, and drink beer together, and tell jokes and laugh and be happy. Really happy.
Sindo threw his arms around his brother's neck, and Noldo thought that Sindo's anger began to ebb, a little. Noldo held him for a while, and kept his own mind open, and Sindo stayed with his thoughts.
Staying open was hard for Noldo, and as the day wore on, there were times when he faltered and his mind closed. But before too much time went by, Sindo nudged the borders of his thoughts, and asked to be let back in again. By mid-afternoon, Noldo had a headache and was exhausted. Sindo laughed at him, retreated, and verbally offered to sit with him while he slept. Noldo accepted gladly.
Now, when Sindo showed up in his dreams, it was Noldo's own happy, affectionate memories of him. He suspected, even as he slept, that Sindo was gently exploring for them. He was glad to find, on waking, that his suspicions were correct.
*******
The Fairy Wife