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I am so happy, I’m could cry. I’ve been
overweight for 23 years, significantly so for at least 20 of those years. I
could not remember how much I weighed the last time I was slim. I had
guestimated 150 as my goal for a long time, but I really had no idea where I
would end up. When I visited my doctor at 195lbs, he told me I would be
perfectly fine if I didn’t lose another pound. I told him I wasn’t fine with
that. We discussed my goal, and based on my height & muscular build, he
wrote me a note for WW giving me permission to have a goal of 170. Back at
195, I thought that seemed too high, so I kept my unofficial goal in my head
at 150. My leader didn’t bug me about setting it officially as she knew I was
not obsessed with either being at a certain weight or clothing size.
Anyway, about
the 150 goal: As my self-image has always been about 50lbs behind the
reality, I still see myself as chubby. People always seemed surprised that I
still had 25 lbs to goal…many thought I was at goal. I asked my husband if he
saw me as chubby. He said no. I asked a male friend & he said no. My
leader said she thought I ought to declare goal right now! She tried to
illustrate to me that I’m probably about the same size that she is. She
showed me that my hips are just as wide as hers, which looks like a normal
size to me. All these people I know are honest in their answers. 170 is above
the weight range for my height, but with my heavy duty strength training and
exercise program, it seems I have made myself quite muscular, therefore I weigh
more than what I appear to weigh. I just can’t quite see it yet, but I will.
After having the backing of some wonderful friends whose opinion I sought on
declaring goal at 170, plus the absolutely positive reinforcement from my
wonderful & wise leader, I am declaring my goal at 170. I will still see
how far below that I can reach, but that will come with my main goal of PEAK
FITNESS! Now I can have my cake & eat it too! (bad pun for
WW’ers!....lol) I get to make goal, get the free meetings, get to join a gym,
make my goal of doing BRAN, and best of all achieve peak fitness, and my
dream of being slim & healthy!
I really feel
at peace with this now. I struggled with this whole issue over the last few
days & today knew in my heart that this is so right. I'm just pumped,
jazzed, whatever, on cloud ten!
So many things have happened over the last few days! I started looking at gyms to join. I looked at four and made a decision. I almost joined a certain club, but then on Sunday, the YMCA had a one day only special where they were waiving the initiation fee. My 14 year old son wanted to go workout with me, but the cost of dual membership at the regular gyms was prohibitive. The YMCA was only about $12 more for a family membership than the other gyms’ individual costs. Also, as they have no contract, it seemed like another win-win situation not just for me, but for the whole family! I signed on the dotted line after viewing the facility and the equipment. I will meet with a personal trainer soon to set up a plan that will meet my objective of PEAK FITNESS.
On Saturday, I
went to shopping and saw a gorgeous pair of Bill Blass flat front pants in a
pretty plum color that I love. (that cross between purple & wine) I
picked up the size 12 & held it up, knowing full well after looking at
the back of it that these were a pair of "future pants" for me!
These looked so tiny!
I had a conversation with my mom about all these things, and she told me that perhaps in my mind (before the other day) that I was not “ready” to be at goal. My mindset has been firmly locked into a particular mode for such a long time. (the mindset necessary to win the weight loss battle) I’m going to have to switch gears slightly very soon, downshift, if you will. To me, I am embarking on a whole new journey. My journey now becomes my quest of attaining PEAK FITNESS. That is why the gym membership was so important to me. In achieving peak fitness, my body will settle in at the weight that is proper for me, whatever that might be.
I was driving home from Mass on Saturday night, and I started to think about the actual event: reaching goal weight. It suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks what I have (almost) accomplished. Waves of emotion poured over me. One of the first things that came to mind was: “Praise God!”. After all, He gave me the strength and tools to travel this road and come to this place. I’m still amazed everyday that I have come this far. I’m humbled by it all, the weight loss, the reactions of friends and family, the outpouring of support from my online friends and fellow WW members, and the positive and overwhelming reaction to my website. It amazes me that a personal website would have so many visitors in such a short time. If I have met my objective of helping others know that they too, can Dare to Dream, then it’s all worthwhile. I’m sure that the day I hit goal weight will be an emotional one. How could it not be? I’m really looking forward to it, and to what lies beyond.
Always remember that even though you are the only one that can accomplish your dreams & goals in the end, it sure is nice to be accepted & loved not for how much you weigh, but by who you are inside! Written on January 26, 2003
As I watched the scale throughout the week, it was typically around 172-173ish in the mornings, so I thought I was a shoe-in this week for a loss. I started to do strength training on the machines at the YMCA over the last few days, & boom, up goes the weight to what you see in the stats. I noticed last night that my ankles looked puffy. I would guess it's water weight. My leader did find my doctor's note that said 170 can be goal, & we read it & saw that it said "or higher". My leader said "Let's call it now", and I said that I wanted to wait & see what happens in the next couple of weeks. Our session only lasts about 9 more weeks, so time is of the essence, but even if I have to pay for a few meetings, no big deal. I will get there! I am wondering though, if my body is trying to tell me something by the fact that my weight has been hovering around 175 for almost 2 months now. Thanks for your support! Written on January 30, 2003 TOM (time of month) got me this week & I gained .4! It could also have to do with the fact that I'm doing my full ST at the Y, & I think my body is still adjusting to that. I refuse to give up what will be good for me in the long run, not to mention achieve my goals, just to avoid a little water gain. I had my free fitness
evaluation this week at the YMCA. I was a little
bit nervous as to what the results might be, and
also in that I had never done anything like this before. They
"rated" me in these areas: Resting heart rate, % body fat, 3 minute step test,
flexibility, bench press test, & sit-ups test. There are 7 ratings ranges
from very poor to excellent. Below excellent was good, then above average,
then average. I was very pleased & shocked to find that I ranked as excellent
in 3 areas, one each in the good, above average, and average range. Nothing
was below average, even the dreaded sit-ups! II guess that means my abs are
stronger than I thought from the other strength
training I do. I know I can still improve, and I will. In the excellent range:
resting HR, bench press, & sit-ups. Written
throughout the week of February 2-7,2003 Continued...please click here.
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0 pounds to go! |
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This page is dedicated to Sofika (Beata) from the WW 100+ board. She spent a lot of time helping me with issues involving my son, and recently helped me in regards to my making peace with myself and my goal weight. Her insight was invaluable and she is always able to put into words what I could not and to assist in solidifying my thoughts on what was the right thing to do for me. She did all this without hesitation and with the inner beauty and grace that she exemplifies. Sofika is also a valued contributor on the 100+ board. |