Prior to now, constructing a publishable article on The Fall was one of the most difficult tasks the modern music critic might face. The most common strategy employed when reviewing the work of The Fall was to rigidly follow the Bog-Standard Method.  Developed in the 1980s as a cooperative effort of the major music weeklies in the UK, the Bog-Standard Method at last made it possible for  a clever journalist to construct marketable reviews, features, career retrospectives, and even interviews simply by adhering to a range of well-defined rules and structures. The beauty of that system was that it could be applied to any past, present, or future Fall release without the tiresome requirement of having ever heard the record in question.

[1]     The Fall group have put out a lot of records out (too many to count). This is a fact and must not only be stated but blatantly exaggerated.
[2]     The music on any Fall record is repetitive and noisy; the vocals are shouted gibberish. This is a fact and your readership must be made aware of it.
[3]     Mark Smith is perpetually drunk, very ill-tempered and swears constantly. This is a fact and must be strongly emphasized.

[4]     The Fall group change line-ups all the time. Average length of career with the group is four and a half months (shorter for drummers).
[5]     Use of the word curmudgeon to describe Smith is highly recommended (preferably more than once).

[6]     It used to be  you could get something in The Face or NME just by writing that The Fall don't know how to dress.

[7]     Your article's best angle is going to be that The Fall is "not as good as it used to be." This can be slyly and indirectly pointed out by making a favorable (wildly inaccurate) comparison of the new release to some earlier (superior) work.

The Fall's new release, {insert record title} The Unutterable Are You a Missing Winner? Elf Fork Elopement 12" Live at the Lhasa Towers Hilton Slug-Fix Zipgun Usurisation , is their {latest} 25th 33rd 41st 154th 882nd record after {many} 24 29 34 39 44 years and as many line-up changes. Best described as {some} a remarkable a deafening a mediocre an indescribable a horrible {kind} accomplishment pinnacle imitation refutation distorted mess of {something} techno-beat-punk non sequiturs buzzing and grumbling spontaneous fatalism muffled nonsense , the album finds {certain} Godlike well-regarded blinky sarcastic irritable {character} genius frontman singer curmudgeon bastard Mark E. Smith {in a state} on his best form the same as always full of spleen more than usual pissed completeley out of his tree after {a recent event} signing to a new record label touring the continent an on-stage punch-up having sacked everybody getting his ears syringed , and now leading {a backing} an ensemble of a gang of the dregs of several hundred some hack {group} talented under-funded drug-abused weird sequencing bongo-playing {of some sort} musicians young turks Pro Tools experts sitcom extras grandmothers in what must be the {superlative} best most intriguing flattest least defensible worst {reference to something} Fall record analysis of modern life proof of phlogiston theory future drinks coaster monument to incomprehensibility since {sometime.} Bend Sinister. the Pistols swore on TV. the Punic Wars. the Great Sphinx of Khafre. the stone age.