RIDE ALWAYS, RIDE SAFE !!

07/03/07

The Team FLAKENBERRY Sunday Ride Picture Gallery

These photo-finish pics show Edweirdo San Miguel sprinting for the overpass so hard, his shorts start falling off his butt.  Attorney General Bruce Leslie valiantly takes off to bridge the gap, but ends up with a swollen nose from lack of oxygen. Still, he beat Eduardo by a whole nose for the coveted Green SPLINTER's jersey.

The rest of Team Flakenberry got dropped but had a great butt's eye-view from the 'rear' (or derrier). However, no one has been able to identify if this picture is Edweirdo or King Marty Helmet-Head. It was hard to tell the difference, specially when we are unable to see the saddle. Butt, it has been confirmed that Nellis Air Force Base ground-based radar captured 2 very-large and very-slow moving objects on an intercept course with the Pauite Indian Reservation overpass. As of this writing, Nellis has not confirmed if the 2 objects ever made it over the top of the overpass or hit the intended target scones at Starbutt's.

King MARTY-Helmet-Head and Prince EDWEIRDO congratulate each other on a sprint well done !!!  The century old 6-feet Sprint Record for the Pauite Indian Reservation Overpass in the Cat 6 Juvenille Division was shattered today by at least 2 secs. The previous record was held by a 6-yr. old who was unable to distinguish the difference between his bibshort chamois and a diaper. This is why the division was ultimately re-named Cat Litter Diaper Division. This is the most competitive division in the area allowing only mature and experienced juvies to compete, provided they do not use carbon trainer wheels. They also enforce a 1-baby bottle rule because the weight of the extra bottle causes a degradation in sprint performance. This forces the juvies to stop every 12-inches or 30-minutes (whichever comes 1st) in order to take a much needed rest stop. Based on this impressive statistic, the new 6-feet Sprint Record has finally been reduced to 2-hrs. and 58-secs.

The HONORABLE MENTION AWARD of the Day:  Prime Minister TIM searching inside his shorts for his missing 'pump'. If he had a big-enough 'pump' to blow up his soft rubbers so it is hard enough to ride, he'd be a ladies' favorite. However, we did notice a very short (sub 1-inch) valve stem sticking out from his shorts. It was not a pretty sight. In the excitement of the moment, he forgot which tube had the puncture, so we advised him to just find the one with the hole. After much searching, he was unable to locate the hole. We left it at that as we were not prepared to help Tim with his issues of finding his pump and the hole.

King MARTY Helmet-Head thanks everyone for supporting his team!  As a token of his APPREHENSION, he invites everyone to Brecker's 37th birthday party of the year. If you miss the party, not to worry, there's another one the following weekend. In lieu of presents, bring a lawn mower or pool brush to gain entrance to the party. Brecker's parties start promptly after the  lawn is mowed and the pool is cleaned.