Lights out, then up again on side of stage with Mr. Twain.
A table in the end, sitting is Mr. Twain, Mrs. Jacobs, Mr. Brooks and Mr. Suller. Mrs. Jacobs reads along with Greg who is reading lines for an audition in front of the table. Alice is in her office, a waiting room full of want-to-be actors, getting papers signed.
Greg:
(over dramatic) Oh Maria, you’re like the wind beneath my wings guiding me
into ever blissfulness.
Mrs. Jacobs:
Oh, do not have fear of leaving me, for I shall always be with you no matter
where you are.
Greg:
But why must you leave with him when it is truly I who has a place in your
heart. I tell you with all the strength in my soul that I am yours.
Mrs. Jacobs:
Yes, but I must obey my family fully and live the life I was destined to live. I
am regrettably sorry that you are not in that picture of my mind that I want for
you to be in.
Greg:
But if there is anything I could do for you, I would ….
Mr. Twain:
Stop! Please! That’s what you could do for me! Wait a minute. (Turning to Mrs.
Jacobs) Where did you get this crap?
Mrs. Jacobs:
You told me it didn’t matter what the audition was about, as long as I got
something you could use. It was truly directions I couldn’t go wrong with.
Mr. Twain:
Well, what do you guys think?
Mr. Suller:
He has no acting abilities and he’s too conservative looking.
Mrs. Jacobs:
I think he takes himself too seriously. But he’s very cute.
Mr. Twain:
Perfect! That’s what I want!…Um, excuse me. Ah, Greg is it? How do you feel
about abortion?
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