Lights on Mr. Twain’s office.
Mr. Twain:
Come on in. I have a great idea.
Mr. Brooks:
The circus.
Mr. Twain:
No, better! Council elections! We’re in the middle of campaign season!
Mr. Brooks:
I knew the circus would have something to do with this. We tried that last time,
remember? They just fired your butt.
Mr. Twain:
This time is different! I’m going to play it right this time.
Mr. Brooks:
Oh, and last time you didn’t?
Mr. Twain:
No, WE DIDN’T. We lost control. As soon as we got who we thought were our guys
elected, they made you city manager alright, but you couldn’t get the 3 votes
needed. Three lousy votes and it means millions of dollars.
Mr. Brooks:
I hate this system!
Mr. Twain:
No, Mr. Brooks. You’re going to learn to love this system. Look, last time we
weren’t ready for the votes as soon as they got on the council. Clearly, we’ve
done all the presentation works necessary, and we’re ready for the approval
now. If we can elect our guys, I mean new guys to the council who don’t know
any better, they can vote on it right away. We don’t have to wait for them to
start having their own opinions about how things should work. We’ll get them
to pass the Beach City Project right before they learn how things work. And if
we play our cards right and get very stupid candidates, we might have them in
our pockets for more than this project.
Mr. Brooks:
Great. Just great! How do you suppose we go out and get stupid people to run for
city council as our candidates?
Mr. Twain:
Mr. Brooks, Mr. Brooks. This might come as a shock to you but there really isn’t
a shortage of stupid people out there. Think of all the pet rocks people have
bought. The multi-level pyramid scams thousands of people sign up for every day.
People who buy used cars and property in Lancaster.
Mr. Brooks:
Point well taken.
Mr. Twain:
The popular non-sense reality shows!
Mr. Brooks:
OK, I get it! But how do you…
Mr. Twain:
Don’t worry. I’ve got an idea. It’s a sure way of getting people to do
what I want. Think to yourself, who are the most gullible group of people who
will do anything for a gig?
Mr. Brooks:
I really have no idea, I mean other than actors.
Mr. Twain:
(Nodding) Exactly!
(sides cont'd)
Mr. Twain:
No, no actually you can’t Greg. You see, you ran as the pro-family candidate.
You wanted to close down gay bars and businesses. So now what? Great! You’ve
just pissed away conservative voters, but now some how you’re going to get gay
voter? I don’t think it’s going to work that way. Besides which, I was going
to get conservative and gay voters to support you and Glenn. But now I don’t
even have that because Glenn decided to contradict my press release over him
being gay.
Glenn:
But I’m not gay!
Mr. Twain:
But you say and act totally gay. You are the epitome of gayness, I had it all
worked out! You’re in the French club and a member of a fraternity for Christ’s
sake. Besides, you could have pretended for a few more days anyway. But it’s
now all gone!….And you, I don’t even want to get started on you Chris, or
should I say Mike!
Chris:
I can explain!
Mr. Twain:
Oh this ought to be good!
Chris:
Remember when you said this was an acting gig? Well, I was just using my acting
name. Many actors do it. That’s all I was doing. I was acting a part.
Something I’m not. I wasn’t trying to break any rules.
Mr. Twain:
Why do you actors try to use different names?
Glenn:
I don’t know? I’ve always wondered that as well.
John:
Mr. Twain, no offense but I don’t think any one of us would have been that
great of a council member anyway. I mean, what do we know about governing a
city?
Mr. Twain:
That’s the point! I would have helped you guys every step of the way.
(In bursts Lilly upset.)
Mr. Twain:
And who do you think you are, young lady?
Email Address for Resume Submission CAST & CREW: actorsandpoliticians@issues101.com
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