And now, the end is near; And so I face the final curtain. My friend, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case, of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full. I've traveled each and ev'ry highway; And more, much more than this, I did it my way. –Frank Sinatra, song: My Way

Frank Sinatra certainly made that a popular song over the years of his life. Today many people succumb to that ideal. We hardly remember what the "Golden Rule" is anymore because the thought of doing it our own way has so pervaded our entire culture. We’ve become a bunch of people who have never gotten out of the two-year-old stage when absolutely everything in life revolves around us. Or so we think. "My rights" rule today. But the real question is this. Is MY way also God’s way?

Self-esteem, self-sufficient, self-serving, self-righteous, self-will--all these words have one very important and misunderstood concept behind them...SELF. This concept is contrary to God Himself. A look at the comparisons between God’s way and man’s way are quite evident in proving the wrong attitudes that we have in promoting my way:

[Excerpted from Chuck Missler’s briefing package, "Behold A Pale Horse".]

In the book of James, he states that all sin comes from pride and selfish ambition (James 3:16). When considering this fact, we see that sin is nothing more than selfishness or wanting it the way we, in our flesh, want things to be. My 4-year old is a prime example. When he doesn’t get what he wants he tells me, "I just want what I want." In essence, this paradigm is idolatry in its simplest form–idolatry of self–yet, we don’t always see it that way.

When we have erred in life, many times the ol’ blame game rears its ugly head. The blame game is as old as Creation! Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpent. I’m sure the lofty serpent would have had an excuse for his actions too if we could only hear the rest of the conversation between him and God! This is simply another way we idolize ourselves by seeing no wrong with our own actions. However, being a parent, I know from experience that more times than not when two children are having an uproar, there is usually some action from both parties to blame behind it.

The lesson in the Bible which says that we need to remove the plank out of our own eye first before we remove the splinter out of our brother’s is so desperately needed today (Matthew 7:3-5; Luke 6:41-42). All too often this advice is rarely followed though. The planks in our own eyes, in our estimation, often begin to take on the appearances of fine pieces of furniture, intricately hewed and sanded to perfection, instead of what they really are, pieces of warped plywood and irritants to our eye sockets. Though we CAN become that fine piece of furniture, we have to realize that it is not us who does the crafting. It is the Maker Himself. And He doesn’t just want our eyes, but our very being!

But what about those times we feel we are right according to God’s Word and feel we need to speak out the truth to someone because it is in their best interest? As a Christian, inwardly we may think that what we are doing or saying is for all good intentions. In reality, though, oftentimes what comes across is behavior that is controlling, divisive, negative, critical, self-centered, and more. Just because we feel we have good intentions, that we know the truth, and we think it needs to be said at this very moment doesn’t always mean that we are acting in the most appropriate way that God wants us to. Sometimes just to shut up and allow God to work instead of us being that resounding "holy spirit" within someone else can make a greater impact on others of our witness to Christ than what WE think is best. There is a fine line here between God’s will and our need to make our case known in any situation. Ask any parent who has to determine if another lecture to their son or daughter would be better than learning from life lessons themselves - actions and consequences!

Here’s the challenge...can you truly ask God if what you are doing or saying in each circumstance is His will or your own? If you cannot even ask the question, nor accept the answer and change if need be, then perhaps your idea of God’s will is really your own will at play. The bottom line is that as Christians we should start recognizing when we are acting within our own flesh and selfish natures instead of God’s will. It takes reflectiveness on our part and maturity as a believer. It requires sacrifice of self and opening ourselves up to vulnerability. It means submission to the authority of Christ where we choose to surrender ALL to Him. It requires us to forfeit our "right" to speak or to act in every circumstance, but instead only when God calls us to. We must employ the Holy Spirit to be our Guide for our words and our works, and even though we have all of the Spirit within us when we come to Christ, we must allow Him to continually fill us and work in our lives instead of stifling Him by our selfish natures.

Likewise, it is imperative that we develop a relationship in which we truly are in communication with God as to how we should live. We have to know His Word and test all things against His Word. We have to be in fervent prayer with Him so we can hear and recognize His voice. For those who have accepted Christ as their Savior, we have ALL of Christ in us and we have His power to live a truly victorious Christian life, but many times we do not apply ALL of Christ in our lives, instead choosing to live by our own wills instead of His will. We need to follow what Jeremiah 29:12-13 tells us: Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

As a non-Christian, you need to recognize you are a sinner in need of a Savior and you need to confess your sins to God so that you can be forgiven, changed, and have the power of Jesus Christ to overcome the sin in your life. Then you can begin to see what is right and what is wrong according to God’s standards and live righteously in Jesus Christ. After all, in the end, when we all stand before the Lord, we are all still judged by the sins we have committed (and we’ve all committed sin, even to the smallest degree). Only by the blood of Jesus covering us, will we be forgiven of our sins and reside in an eternity in heaven with Jesus. No amount of good deeds, church-going, or money we’ve given to the poor will gain us entrance into heaven with Jesus.

All this said, this victorious Christian way of living can only be done one way...by dying. Not the physical death that takes us into eternity, but the emotional and spiritual death that is required by God. The death of idolatry...dying to self. That, I believe, is the first and most important step we have to take as born-again Christians and even as non-believers. We have to make that choice. We have to have a willing heart and admit that we are sinners, powerless to combat or overcome sin by ourselves, and that we cannot live a Christian life in God’s will without surrendering ourselves to Him. That might seem like a hard thing to do, but it brings glorious freedom in living the Christian life. God wants us to be transformed into something special to be used by Him. He will only do that when we give ourselves up to Him. Romans 12:2-3 states: And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. For through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

My own example is so appropriate to share with you. I, like so many others, wanted to see "results" in my family. MY results, MY wishes, MY desires. I did not consult God as to what HIS results were to be. I began doing things in my own power to "make" things go my way, the way that I thought would make everyone become more "spiritual". In essence, I began to be a control-freak and play the part of a "little god". I prayed continually for everyone else’s sins and shortcomings. Little did I know, this was just where Satan wanted me–continually looking at all those around me instead of taking the plank out of my own eye!

Once I began to surrender myself to God, I began to take a look at my own life. Lo and behold, I thought I was so "righteous" and yet God was revealing to me my very own sin–my SELF. When I started working on MYSELF, God started working on those around me. You see, I truly believe that the physical law of science that states for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction holds true in the spiritual realm as well.

When my SELF was at the forefront, I reacted in certain ways, and continued to get the same responses. That, my friends, is the true definition of insanity: doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. But when I began to act in a different way, setting aside self, I saw a different reaction, and this time it was God’s will and desires coming through instead of my own. I haven’t arrived at perfection and never will since I am a sinner living in a sinful world, but through the work of Jesus in my life, I am finding a more perfect way, a victorious Christian way: It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. Psalms 18:32 (KJV)

Finally, for a clearer visual picture, imagine yourself sitting on top of a large balancing scale with a load of rocks upon your lap. You are weighted down with the rocks so that your side of the scale is clear to the ground. On the other side of that balancing scale is a person whom you know NEEDS some spiritual changing in their lives. However, they are balanced well above you with where they sit. You start by throwing out words so that the person on the other side can "help" to level you out so that you are balanced, but the person on that other side of the scale cannot hear your muffled words. You just know that if you work on the circumstances of the situation and make sure that person "does his job" by helping you or putting more weight on their side of the scale, your life will be easier. You continue to hurl remarks to them, but no movement takes place. The load seems heavier and heavier with each passing day. Finally, one day you notice the rocks on you. You decide to give one of the rocks to Jesus (surrender yourself to God), instead of trying to yell verbal commands to the one on the other side. Amazingly, you begin to balance out a little more! It seems as if the weight is unloaded a little more each time you give one of your rocks to Jesus off YOUR side, and soon enough, you are in balance with God and with the one on the other side. And now God is willing to work on you and the one with whom you have that relationship, because now that person can hear the voice of God, instead of your muffled words coming through. Now you have freedom to get up off that scale and go do something wonderful for God!

Consider self. When setting self aside, your load will always be lightened because Jesus has already paid the price to take it upon Himself at the cross. However, it’s a choice - a choice to admit sin in our lives, a choice to allow Him to work in ourselves and others, a choice to surrender our all to Him, and a choice to give the Spirit the chance to work in our lives by getting ourselves out of the way. All Christians are capable of setting self aside. The question is: Are you willing?