Experience 2003

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never
cease to be amused.

My reality check bounced

Both reality checks bounced

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. 

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem

The reason I know my Youth has been spent,
Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went!
But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get-up has been.

Be careful . . .a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a
kick in the butt.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper, then ... 
Oh my  goodness, you forgot to pull your zipper down! 

We are born naked, wet, hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.

There's nothing the matter with me,
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

If the shoe fits......buy it in every color.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one up of coffee

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. 

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try miss cooking a couple of meals.

It is easier to get older than wiser.

"I AM FINE HOW ARE YOU ?"
The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is that for you and me, who are growing old.
It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we are in.