1999 Packers in Limerick Form

For the past several seasons I've been sending out weather forecasts for on-line Packer fans. I usually include a remark, sometimes insightful, sometimes witty, sometimes just plain wrong, about what I expect from each game. During 1997 I began including limericks (or reasonable facsimilies), in some of the forecasts, as time and inspiration allowed. The following is a compilation of the limericks from the 1999 season. Note: You have to be a Packer fan to pick up on some of the inside jokes, and because most were written before the game, they don't all accurately reflect what occurred in each game.

Enjoy.

-Keith

Keith Brewster
Norman, OK
kbrews@cox.net
http://members.cox.net/~kbrews/

Summer Shareholder Meeting

Bonuses have taken a toll,
So a sponsor is sought to cajole?
But those naming rights,
Could lead to some fights,
If Lambeau becomes "Kohler Bowl".


Raiders at Packers

One path our Desmond knows,
To dodge his receiver woes,
Take the first kick,
Juke and score quick,
Then strike a Heisman pose.


Packers at Lions

Under his thumb
The team who once had us down
Under his thumb
The team who thrice grabbed it down

It's down to Favre
The difference in the scoreboard there
Down to Favre, the drive has come
They're under his thumb


Vikings at Packers

The Vikings leave their frozen home,
To sail to where the Gurnseys roam;
Says Eric to Olaf 'n Leif,
In shock and disbelief,
"Uff da, there ain't no plastic dome!"


Buccaneers at Packers

When over the line they're trying,
Whether by running or flying,
Our Williams will drop 'em,
The Bucs he'll be stoppin',
As that is the life of Brian.


Packers at Broncos

Bronco Eric Brown assures,
He'll bump the pain our QB endures,
From his thumb to his thigh,
On the field of Mile High,
Home of the original boors.


Packers at Broncos, postgame

Was it a lack of intensity,
The Packer offensive propensity,
To suddenly stall,
At the snap of the ball,
Or rather the lack of air density?


Seahawks at Packers

New sod has been laid out in rolls;
Would we rather greet him with coals,
The Walrus, defector,
Ruler of Seattle prefecture,
On this, the Feast of All Souls?


Seahawks at Packers, postgame

The names of the legends, much vaunted,
Inspire the Green 'n Gold, undaunted;
So who would have thunk?,
You'd have to be drunk,
To foresee the place so Rubley haunted.

Bears at Packers, postgame

From Lambeau, came news of a shocker;
The story begins at the 34 locker,
As Sweetness that day,
Must have gotten his way,
In the form of a field goal blocker.


Lions at Packers

The Packers, encumbered by rust,
Seek to shake the cobwebs and dust,
The Lions they'll slay,
Then circle the bay,
And leave in their wake gloomy Gus.


Packers at 49ers

Though the ground may shake and rattle,
The rumor is no more than prattle,
That the park may slide,
Go out with the tide,
And set the stage for a naval battle.


Packers at Bears

Jim let down the ticketholders,
At the field named for soldiers,
As he didn't read the book,
And too literally he took,
Chicago, The City of Broad Shoulders.


Packers at Bears, postgame

Like the ugly ducklin' now a swan,
Our Parker owned the sodded pond;
And neither rain nor drizzlin',
Kept his feet from sizzlin',
As he went and staged a coup du monde.


Packers at Vikings

The playoff moat has become a gorge;
A division win the Pack must forge,
So our men in the yellow hats,
Must fan the flames, heat the vats,
As they meet the Vikings and their Curious George.


Packers at Buccaneers

Into Tampa the Packers will roll,
To southern climes from the North Pole,
But what will be packed ensleigh?
A chance of a playoff day,
Or a big lump of Shaun King coal?


Cardinals at Packers

Lately the players and coaches have sought,
What they should, and what they ought not;
We're hoping they'll learn,
The answers they need to discern,
Come the year of twenty-aught-naught.


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