Jesus said, "Whoever wants to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me."

I want to follow Jesus! Over time, I have been able to gradually deny myself of self-reliance and of material things. Iím making progress, but I certainly have a long way to go.

However, to follow Jesus, what about this taking-up-a-cross thing? Since this involves suffering, the idea hasn't been getting any more appealing for me. But, I've been around long enough to also know that taking up a cross is inevitable.

Fr. Louis Vander Ley ministers mainly to the sick and dying. He does most of St. John's wakes and funerals. In his homilies, he eventually gets around to saying that he hasn't figured out how to get out of this world without suffering, but if he does find out, he will be sure to let us know.

Jesus is the example of why we have to suffer. If Jesus -- who was both God and human -- had to suffer to leave this world, why would we -- who are only human -- expect to not suffer? In other words, if Jesus went to heaven second class, why would we expect to travel first class?

So, what does this command to carry our cross and follow Jesus really mean?
- It means that sometimes doing the will of God is hard, and involves suffering.
- It means that sometimes following the example and teaching of Jesus is a real challenge.
- It means that loving God and neighbor sometimes demands sacrifice.

Many of us are already carrying our crosses. We do not have to go looking for them. They find us. For example,

- We have denied ourselves a thousand times over and have done the will of God by raising a family and all of the personal sacrifice that goes with it. We have gone without, so that our kids could have advantages that we did not have.

- We have endured the hardships of supporting that family member or friend in his or her struggle with an addiction. We have put up with the cycle of victory and defeats, ups and downs because of the command of Jesus to love.

- Or we're dealing with that addiction ourselves and digging in and trying to walk the straight line.

- We are teenagers and we are determined to live a life of virtue and chastity when it seems to us that no one else is. And we pay a price for that. We sacrifice popularity and hanging with the crowd that calls themselves cool.

- We have devoted what seems to be our life to caring for our physically or mentally challenged child, or our infirm, elderly parent, or our sick spouse because it is simply the right thing to do and we do it out of love.

- We have lost a child or our spouse and not a day goes by that we do not think of that person we have lost. But we find the strength to stand up and carry on and continue being a giving person when we feel that everything in life has been taken from us.

And there are many other example.

One, if not more, of these taking-up-our cross examples become part of our lives whether we want them or not. Each example presents us with a decision of how well we are going to take up the cross: are we going to lift it up and carry it or are we going to just grudgingly drag it along behind us.

The degree to which we take up our cross depends on how well we obey Jesus' two Great Commandments to love God and neighbor. By denying ourselves more and more, we increasingly put God and neighbor before ourselves and become able to more completely take up our crosses and follow Jesus.