We celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family each year because we must continually make the choice between being a holy family and being a worldly family.

The feast was established 107 years ago by Pope Leo XIII because at that time families were becoming worldlier and less holy.

After 107 years, our families are even more vulnerable to worldly trappings. Our society has become more pluralistic; it offers us many opportunities to participate in worldly things. This leads us to having less time to spend on being a holy family.

Todayís gospel reading puts things into perspective for us. Mary, being perturbed by not being able to find Jesus for three days, says, "Son, why have you done this to us?" Jesus replies, "Did you not know that I must be in my Fatherís house?" Another translation of this verse says, "Did you not know that I must involve myself in my Fatherís affairs?" In essence, Jesus is saying that God has priority over his earthly family.

A holy family is one that puts God first in its activities. This is a hard balancing act, because as humans we are automatically part of the world. However, we are not automatically a holy family. We must choose to become a holy family and then work at it.

A holy family is more apt to stay connected with one another. The alternative isnít attractive. First, I want to describe what is happening, in general, to worldly families today. Then I will suggest a method for becoming a holier family.

Here is the status of the average marriage in Oklahoma:

1/4 of marriages end by their 2nd anniversary and 1/2 by the 5th to 6th anniversary. Catholics fare only slightly better than nonCatholics. This results in

• Children of divorce having multiple parents and grandparents
• Fatherless families becoming economically vulnerable
• Fatherless children desperately needing adult males to help them figure our what it means to be a responsible, caring man.
• Children leaving home because they cannot cope with their families for various reasons.
• Children growing up thinking that this environment is normal. This can lead to multiple divorces, drug addition, alcoholism, kids murdering kids, random shootings, sexual promiscuity, and teen suicide.

Statistics say that new families have only a 50% chance of staying together. Even families that have survived for many years come apart if couples do not work at their marriages.

Whatís the solution to improving our success of staying together as a family? My suggestion is that we connect better with our parish. There we find support from others, establish a relationship with God, and recover an awareness of our moral values.

Coming to Mass on Sunday is the bare minimum. And a large number of Catholics donít come that often. How can one hour a week make us more holy when we spend the rest of the week immersed in worldly affairs?

St. John is as a program-oriented parish. There is a program for just about everyone. I drew this conclusion from looking at the front page of the Sunday bulletin under telephone extensions. I was going to categorize the programs offered for children, teens, and adults but the list is too long. Pick up a bulletin and examine it for yourself.

If we are minimally connected with the parish, we should get involved in a program. Then we will meet people who will support us as family and we will learn about other parish programs that we can get into later as our family situation changes. We must make the move toward finding a parish program; the program is not going to find us.

The kind of program or activity for you might be sacramental, for sacraments are our doorways to the sacred, to the holy. Beyond Sunday Eucharist, there is weekday Eucharist at 7:30 am and 5:30 pm. The Blessed Sacrament Chapel is open 24 hours per day for prayer. On Fridays, there is eucharistic adoration and benediction. On the first Friday of the month there is also anointing of the sick. Penance is offered on Saturday afternoons from 4 to 5 or by appointment.

We should be interested in education about our Catholic faith. Too many people work with a 9th grade education of their faith while having college degrees in the secular world. As primary educators of our children, we adults must continually learn about our faith so that we can express it as adults rather that as 9th graders. Our parish has many programs for educating both children and adults.

If preparing for marriage, there are programs that the archdiocese requires us to take in order to enhance our probability of staying married. These are led by trained priests, deacons, and married couples within our parish.

If already married, St. Johnís Marriage and Family Life Board is working to preserve and strengthen the journey of sacramental marriages and family life. They are planning many programs and will have a kickoff on January 25 by a nationally-known couple who will discuss ways to enhance relationships. There are also archdiocesan programs to enhance marriages.

How about a support group? There are groups to support our faith journeys, our marriages, and people who are divorced.

There are programs for any age group: for youth, teens, college students, adults, and senior citizens.

The gospel reading today is a resurrection story because of its similarities to Jesusí passion. For Luke, being lost is being dead. Being lost for three days is also the length of time Jesus spent in the tomb. Being found, for Luke, is coming back to life.

In a way, our society has been lost when it comes to the family. Now we have opportunities to bring our families back to life.

I know many families who, for me, are models of a holy family. I didnít say a perfect family. Even the Holy Family was made up of the human Mary and Joseph and Jesus who was both God and man. In todayís gospel, Mary was an unhappy camper when she couldnít find Jesus for three days. Any parent or child can relate to this.

God has to move to the top of our family priorities if we are to become holier families. We can make this happen by getting more involved in our parish.