16th Sunday of Ordinary Time—C2004
Luke 10:38-42
Deacon Lee Hunt (St. Monica)

Balance Your Priorities

The Gospel reading today always reminds me of my mother. When my four children were young, we used to travel across the State of Michigan to visit my mother and stepfather. If it were near mealtime, Mom would always be in the kitchen preparing something to eat. I’d always wait for her to come into the living room so we could talk, but eventually I had to go into the kitchen if I wanted to talk with her. This situation was only temporary, because we got in lots of talking during and after the meal.

I think that the connection of my mom with the Gospel story is clear: at times, my mom was much like Martha. She was so focused on serving that at the beginning of our visit she missed sharing with her family who had come to develop a closer relationship with her. Of course we all had to eat, but when she made simpler meals we had more time with her. Her serving and sharing balanced out in the long run.

In the Gospel, Jesus told Martha that Mary had “chosen the better part.” To understand why this was the case, we have to remember that Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem and that Mary and Martha were not going to be able to spend any more quality time with him during the short time he had left on earth. There was no time left for serving and sharing to balance out.

This should be a reminder to us to share with our family, friends, and neighbors while we have the chance, because we can’t be certain if we will ever see them again.

In our personal lives, we must set priorities so as to maintain right relationships. During my life, I luckily learned such priorities. However, it wasn’t until I was studying to be a deacon that this model was verbalized for me so that I could more clearly see what I practiced without knowing it. I frequently explain this model to others so they don’t have to spend 60 years to discover it like I did.

The model for our priorities goes like this:
1. First comes our relationship with God.
2. Next our family.
3. Then comes our job.
4. Last are all the other things that we do, such as ministries at church, personal sports, hobbies, etc.

For example, the Church tells deacons that their ministry as deacon is priority #4. The Church will not even accept deacon applicants with young children since an applicant’s higher priority is to first take care of his young family. Besides, how could a man be a deacon with a poor relationship with God, a messed up family, and no job to support them?

Also, consider that a family’s priority comes before that of a job. My best example of this is of a workaholic friend, who told me, when his two children were going away to college, that he had missed seeing them grow up. For me, this was a case of a negative example being just as important as a positive one.

Unfortunately, priorities in our lives are not as simple as 1, 2, 3, 4. Balancing these four priorities is as important as knowing what they are. There are times when a job may have to come before family to complete a deadline at work. But, this must be an exception and not the rule.

There are also times when we can’t get to Church on the weekend because of sickness in the family. This will eventually pass so that we can get back to the normal order of priorities.

I want to provide evidence that this ranking of priorities works. I meet with engaged couples preparing for marriage. I begin our first meeting by giving them a good reason for being there. Their relationship with God affects their probability of divorce. Studies show the following:
• Their chance of divorce is 33% if they marry in a church
• However, the chance drops to 2% if they also attend church together
• And the chance drops to less that 0.1% if, in addition, they also pray together

So, since we are obviously here in church, our priority today has God at #1 and this will positively affect our other priorities. I would not suggest that we come to church less frequently to test out the validity of the information I just provided.

All of us need to be like Mary and share time with others, but we need also to be like Martha and supply their basic needs. This is done very well when I go on mission to Peru. A proper balance of priorities is needed so that we can build up the kingdom of God.