Last night, Fargo's eyes lit up, as they usually do, at the prospect of his bedtime snack. And as usual, he took it happily and heartily, allowing me to maintain, for the moment, the illusion that all was still right with the world. But with a shocking suddeness and a numbing finality, he's no longer with us—for this morning we had the unutterably sad duty of relieving him from further suffering.
Over the years he's graced us with his very presence, he's had four surgeries for removal of malignancies, one for larygeal paralysis, one for removal of a large lipoma, and one for a herniated disc. He's come through all of these well and whole, save for the loss of his tail. But lately the years have begun to overtake him. After a recent recovery from a vestibular disorder, he's grown more feeble and less able to walk on his own.
A sudden, terribly painful malignancy on a toe pad appeared last week and would have required yet another surgery. Another surgery that, given his enfeeblement, would have been a selfish and unmerciful act.
We'd anticipated for months that the spectrum of our choices would narrow to one sometime soon, but no amount of anticipation or planning can prepare for the utter devastation that results from losing such a loving and devoted friend—such a pure and innocent soul.
Fargo is at peace now, but the heartache won't go away for a long time. He was a good boy. He was a very good boy.
To Fargo
All I have now are memories,
your collar, and your leash.
You were my unwavering friend,
my boon companion—loyal and true.
We traveled a long happy road together,
but as all roads must, this one has ended.
So the time has come for you to take another path
and part from me for a time.
Remember me as you course like a wind set free
through the limitless green fields of eternity.
Remember me—for I'll join you, tennis ball in hand,
when my own journey is done.
But for now all I have are memories,
a collar, and a leash.
Here are links to three small items about Fargo, which I wrote in happier times, when I edited Second Retrieve.
Fargo Gets A Second Chance (Second Retrieve, Winter 1998-99)
Fargo Update (Second Retrieve, Spring 1999)
Fargo (Second Retrieve, Fall/Winter 1999)
Larry Mittell
April 26, 2004