AUDI	Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
	Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW	Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
	Beautiful Masterpiece on Wheels
	Break My Windows
	Brutal Money Waster
	Big Money Waste
	Broken Money Waster
	Blasphemes Motorized Wreck
	Born Moderately Wealthy
	Big Money Works
	Bought My Wife
	Brings Me Women
BUICK	Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
	Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CHEVY	Change Heads, Engine, or Valves Yearly
	Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
	Your Vehicle Expels Hydro-Carbons - (Backwards)
CHEVROLET	Cranks Hard Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time
	Cracks Heads Eats Valves Races Only Little Electric Toys
	Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
	Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
	Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE	Drinks Oil, Drops Gears Everywhere
	Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
	Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
	Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
	Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
FIAT	Fix It Again Tony
	Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
	Failure In Automotive Technology
	Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
	Fix It All the Time
	Found In A Toilet
FORD	Fix Or Repair Daily
	First On Race Day
	First On Recall Day
	Flip Over Read Directions
	Found On the Road - Dead
	Found Off Road Daily
	Fast Only Rolling Downhill
	Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto
	Freakin Off Road Disaster
	Freakin Ornery Road Demon
	Freakin Off Road Demon
	F***ed On Race Day
	F***ed Over Road Debris
	F***ed Over Rebuilt Dodge
	F***en Owner Really Dumb
	F***en Over Rated Disaster
	F***er Only Runs Downhill
	Driver Returns On Foot - (Backwards)
	First On Rust and Deterioration
	Fault Of R&D
	Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
GM	General Maintenance
GMC	Garage Mans Companion
	Generally Mediocre Cars
	Get More Chicks
	Get More Crap
	Gotta Mechanic Coming?
HONDA	Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI	Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
JAGUAR	Just Another Gearbox Under Annual Repair
JEEP	Just Empty Every Pocket
	Just Enough Extra Parts
LOTUS	Lots Of Troubles Usually Serious
	Lots Of Tits Und Sex
	Leaking Oil Tears Up Starter
	Lectronics Or Timing Usually Shorts
	Send Us Tips On Lucas - (Backwards)
MAZDA	Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG	More Garbage
	Mostly Garbage
MOPAR	Mostly Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
	Mostly Old Parts And Rust
	Mostly Old Paint And Rust
	Most Often Passed At Races
	Move Over People Are Racing
OLDSMOBILE	Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
	Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
Plymouth	Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood
Pontiac	Poor Old Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac
Porsche	Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB	Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
	Such An Arrogant Bastard
	Send Another Automobile Back
	Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
	Some Ass Actually Bought it
TOYOTA	Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO	Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
	Vehicles Of Low Velocity Ownership
VW	Virtually Worthless