Pre-game

Inspired by a 'Seven Sigmarites' Bat Rep in WD, I thought that a further variation on the theme might lend a little needed color to the concept: What's all this about the inherent nobility of so-called champions of law and order being mowed down by waves of evil nastiness? Personally I can't think of anything more cliche. The white hats are SUPPOSED to die under an avalanche of vileness (unless you're in Helm's Deep, where all bets are off).

Now lets say a small crew of decked out Chaos Champions are just wandering along, minding their own business, when a bunch of zero level good guys stumble across them. Or maybe bad guys. Who cares? I'm just saying it's the kind of fracas normally reserved for crack-addled WWE wrestlers or Haka-singing Kiwis. I mean an extremely, profanely high level of casual violence.

Luckily I know a man with the resolve and intestinal fortitude to accept such a challenge. Renufus may only be ten years old and weigh eighty pounds, but it's all napalm and concertina wire.

The Fragnificent Seven:

Seth Garrick - Slaaneshi Chaos Lord (343pts)
General; Mark Of Slaanesh
Blade Of Blood
Pendant of Slaanesh
Regenerate
Shield

King Willie - Exalted Sorcerer of Slaanesh (399pts)
Level 4
Mark Of Slaanesh
Power Familiar
Gaze of the Gods
Chaos Steed

Big Smoke - Exalted Champion of Chaos Undivided (165pts)
Mark of Chaos Undivided
Helm of Many Eyes
Great Weapon
Armor of Dargan
Chaos Steed

Moby Juju - Exalted Champion of Slaanesh (170pts)
Mark Of Slaanesh
Bane Shield
Sword of Might

L'Lion D'Zion - Exalted Champion of Slaanesh (170pts)
Mark Of Slaanesh
Armor of Damnation
Enchanted Shield
Biting Blade

Mary-Kate - Sorcerer of Slaanesh (206pts)
Level 2
Mark Of Slaanesh
Dispel Scroll x 2
Chaos Steed

Ashley - Sorcerer of Slaanesh (171pts)
Level 2
Mark Of Slaanesh
Spell Familiar
Chaos Steed

TOTAL POINTS: 1624

For reasons of game balance, Ren and I have agreed to a few minor modifications to the Seven Bretonnians Scenario rules, namely that all Chaos Character models will count as Unbreakable, rather than Immune to Psychology, mostly since most of them already are immune to psychology. As well, Seth Garrick is being allowed to exceed his magic item allowance by 5 points to allow him to take regeneration along with the Blood Sword and Pendant of Slaanesh, a particularly nasty combo I hope to surprise young Renufus with.

Their opponent, in the lacy-frilly fuchsia trunks, is the Dark Elves...

The Dark Elves of the Watch

Desh' Garroth - Commanding Officer of the Druchii Warhost
Noble w/ Chariot
Crimson Death
Heavy armour
Sea dragon cloak

Alexis - Witch Priest of the Cult of Pleasure
High Sorceress w/ Dark Pegasus
Lifetaker
Darkstar Cloak
2 Dispel Scrolls

Enelya - Dark Priestess of Ghrond
Sorceress w/ Seal of Ghrond
Tome of Furion

24 Corsairs w/ full command

12 RXB w/ shields

2x5 Dark Riders w/ RXB, musician

16 Executioners w/ full command, Banner of Murder

Cold One Chariot

2 Reaper Bolt Throwers

TOTAL POINTS: 2000

We're looking for a good, clean fight, no low blows, and if you tear your opponent's eye out, hand it back and apologize.

Prologue:

The package was late. Seth could feel the brittle tundra grass snapping beneath his booted feet. Dark elves moved to and fro across the top of the long wall as he watched, but the armored gate remained closed. He turned to his closest companion. "I don't think this is going to happen, King."

King Willie sat motionless upon his chaos steed. The Sorcerer Lord had called in a marker and, unlike many, Seth was not one to ignore a such a debt. "Eyyyy. There be time yet."

Seth shrugged. Odd assignments like this barely seemed odd any longer. Had he asked, Seth would have brought his entire warband to sit and wait along the border between the Chaos Wastes and Naggaroth. But the King had asked only for the Chaos Lord and his most trusted subordinates. Juju and D'Zion had served under Willie for years before being joining Seth. M-K and Ash were newer recruits, but proved reliable and extremely capable many times in recent months. And Smoke...

As always, the burly man was happily chuffing away at one of his malodorous cheroots. The extra steed they had brought to carry the package home tossed his sleek horned head in protest at the smell. Big Smoke laughed and calmed the steed down with pungent whispers.

Then all at once the reapers mounted along the wall snapped down and trained out toward the small group. Activity along the wall seemed to freeze in the arctic air.

Seth cocked an eyebrow and not taking his eyes from the many sharp projectiles currently aimed at him, spoke loud enough for the Sorcerer Lord to hear. "You want to tell me what this is about now?"

King Willie's patois fell away slightly as he spoke to make himself understood for the benefit of the fledgling mages. "They have my protégé. He fell into their hands more than a year ago. Through the elves' dark sorceresses I have managed to buy his freedom from the fighting pits. We will take him back when they release him. From that gate."

As he spoke, a loud clanking noise rolled over the tundra, and the gate opened. Seth's eyes narrowed when he saw not an emancipated slave, but an entire dark elf warhost proceed to spread itself along the length of the wall.

"Got a funny feeling here, King."

"Wait." Then a single shambling figure did emerge, running and stumbling, still encumbered by chains toward the Wastes and freedom. A long minute passed. Nearly to the low mesa where they waited, the sorcerer took a single step forward toward his comrade.

Two crossbow quarrels buried themselves in the slave's back. An instant later, two more. Across the broken plain, a high feminine laugh blended in with the scream of a horse, and the flap of leathery wings.

"Suppose it's out of the question we just cut our losses and head back to the Goat for beer and good companionship?" Seth asked rhetorically.

King Willie was already spurring his mount forward as Smoke swung easily into his new mount's saddle.

The Chaos Lord couldn't help but grin. "Just asking." Then he sprinted forward to join the growing fray.

This was actually the second game Ren and myself played, it being the better and more interesting one. For this one I brought a few hard lessons from game number one, basically stating that Gaze of The Gods, when dealing with Unbreakable characters, is best spent on Sorcerer Lords. As well, Juju lost the Rapturous Standard and picked up the bane shield and a sword of might.

If anything seems conspicuously missing (namely assorted missile fire which should have occurred but is not here, I apologize for incompleteness, but assure you that no significant actions have been left out).

And off we go

Chaos Turn 1:

Movement: Seth and Willie move up the long stretch of difficult terrain, but not off it. The rest move to the stone column, Smoke out a little left, L'Lion out a little right between the column and difficult ground. God bless characters who can march move all the time and ignore difficult terrain!

Magic: A very irate King Willie gets off an uncontested Delectable Torture, and drives two missiles into the General's chariot, doing absolutely no damage whatsoever. Lifetaker, my lacy underwear. Ash successfully casts Titillating Delusions on the executioners (killing blow on characters totally sucks) and sends them running off toward Dark Rider unit #1. M-K tries Enrapturing Spasms on the corsairs, but fails the roll.

Dark Elf Turn 1:

Movement: Alexis moves to the central open area on the back of her Pegasi. Enelya forward and left to the edge of the crag. The regular chariot moves forward and slightly toward the column, while the DE general's chariot moves forward and toward Seth and King Willie. Corsairs forward slightly to cover Enelya. Neither dark riders move (#1 were apparently off counting trees and forgot to move altogether).

Magic: Alexis gets off Wind of Death due to poor dispel dice (I decided to save the scroll for later). Winds up doing 2 wounds on Smoke. Dead first round. Ooooooooh was I NOT happy about that! Enelya follows up with Wind of Death on Ashley, which I scrolled. The Titillating Delusions on the executioners was also dispelled.

Shooting: Both Reapers open up on King Willie, and both miss. (this represents the worst rolling Ren did all day, but I'll expound more on that later). Dark Riders #2 opens up on Willie as well, causing one hit, but no wounds.

Chaos Turn 2:

Movement: Juju moves into the center toward the pegasi, followed by Ash. The Archmage moves from the difficult ground mesa to the difficult ground island nearest the wall. Seth moves to edge of difficult terrain mesa. L'Lion moves forward through column/mesa bottleneck toward chariots.

Magic: Delectable Torture cast on Desh' Garroth, but dispelled with dice. Then for his follow up, Willie miscasts Blissful Throes and abruptly ends the magic phase. Not so good.

Dark Elf Turn 2:

Movement: Charge! Both chariots plow into the L'Lion D'Zion (Ren throws boxcars when determining impact hits. Ouch. ). D'Zion is instantly converted to mulch as the chariots simultaneously puree/grind him into the tundra. In other news, the pegasi moves forward, ending up behind M-K. And Eleyna, feeling a little exposed, pulls back further behind the corsair unit.

Magic: Alexis' Wind of Death on M-K dispelled with dice as was Enelya's on Willie. Alexis' attempt to Drain Life all the Chaos models by the column was scrolled (last scroll, better not run out of dice before Renufus attempts that evil Drain Life).

Shooting: Dark Riders #2 open up on the Archmage again, but don't manage to cause any wounds, thought the X-bows up on the wall manage to send one sailing through armor and ward save. Both Reapers try to follow suit but are foiled by the will of Chaos. Alexis tries out the Lifetaker on M-Ks back, but fails to nail the plucky little twin.

Chaos Turn 3:

Movement: Charge! Seth moves on closer, non-Generalled chariot, which flees. Juju and Ashley move back toward the pegasus, Ash behind and Juju in front (closer to the wall).

Magic: M-K casts Delectable Torture on Alexis, but is dispelled with dice. Willie attempts the same for Desh' Garroth but can't make the dice roll. Ashley has Alexis' number with a Blissful Throes, but it's scrolled.

Combat: The charge failed when the chariot fled. Dammit.

Dark Elf Turn 3:

Movement: Not liking the close confines, Alexis moves to the difficult ground mesa to the right. The angle to Seth Garrick isn't what it could be, so General Desh' Garroth pulls his chariot back and around the column, looking for a better opening. Dark Riders #1 makes a long move and pull into the center to menace Juju and Ashley.

Magic: Alexis comes up with an irresistible Wind of Death on Ashley, but fails to cause any wounds. Enelya tries Dark Hand of Death on the Sorcerer Lord, but is dispelled with dice.

Shooting: Dark Riders #2, the X-bowmen, and both Reapers try and fail to kill the Chaos Archmage (GAZE OF THE GODS IS MONEY, BABY!). Alexis tries Lifetaker on M-K, but does. not. do it! Dark Riders #1 shoots at Ashley, will no results.

Chaos Turn 4:

Movement: Charge! Seth wants a piece of the formerly fleeing and now rallied chariot. Unfortunately, he wound up a quarter of an inch short. And while this is completely fair an legal, it would also suck since so far all I'd managed to do was make one chariot flee, and lost a seventh of my army (Alas, poor Smoke. I knew him, Horatio...). And so, in the name of entertaining gameplay and a ton of incessant groveling, one of my figs finally made it into combat. Ashley and Juju charge the General's chariot, which fled, and Willie finally charged those silly Dark Riders #2 who'd been shooting at him for three rounds.

Magic: Willie miscasts. Again. And ends the magic phase. Again.

Combat: Willie kills 2 Dark Riders, but they hold. Seth does three wounds to the chariot, but it manages to make it's break test. Power from the Blade of Blood flows and ebbs, leaving Seth with an additional wound, but also an additional attack (gained two wounds, but lost one, then failed to regenerate).

Dark Elf Turn 4:

Movement: Charge! Corsairs charge Juju. Charge! Executioners and Dark Riders #1 plow into Ashley. Charge! Alexis flies into M-K.

Magic: Alexis casts Drain Life with irresistible force. Then manages to cause no wounds on any of the Chaos characters embroiled in combat in the center. Not one. Seth, however, does take a wound, gaining another attack (up to seven), but fails to regenerate.

Shooting: None. Everyone's in combat.

Combat: Executioners manage one wound on Ashley, who I think manages one wound in return. Dark riders don't manage anything. Alexis and M-K exchange blows, neither causing any wounds. Moby kills two corsairs, but loses combat, and the elven sailors lap around. Seth kills the chariot, gaining a wound back. Willie and the Dark Riders #2 both fail to do anything, but the Riders win combat due to outnumber and lap around.

Chaos Turn 5:

Movement: A second gimme from Renufus allows Seth Garrick an additional quarter inch of charge distance (he'd actually be able to charge far enough to impale himself on the chariot's ram, but not hit the front edge of the base) and reach the Elven Warmaster's chariot.

Magic: Willie Enrapturing Spasms the darkriders with irresistible force (could have reached the executioners, but didn't know at the time). M-K and Ashley both fail to Enrapturing Spasm the executioners.

Combat: M-K misses, but her steed manages to Kick Alexis in the face. One wound. Ashley kills an executioner, but takes a wound from a Dark Rider horse. (Them animals is MEAN!) Juju kills three corsairs, and successfully bounces 2 more wounds with his bane shield. Corsairs still manage to win combat and lap around again. Seth manages only one wound on the chariot.

Dark Elf Turn 5:

Movement: None, everyone's busy.

Magic: Enelya attempts a Drain Life dispelled by dice. Steal Soul on Ashley also dispelled. Death Dealer cast on Dark Riders #2

Combat: Juju kills a corsair, but fails four straight armor saves, chopped limb from limb by the corsairs blades. Executioners lose one or two more, but finally bring Ashley down. M-K manages an additional wound on Alexis, but is kicked to death by the dark peagasi. Willie kills another Rider, but the last manages to make his break test (preventing the x-bows and Reapers from blowing the King apart next turn). Seth does 3 wounds on the chariot, destroying it. Desh' Garroth emerges unscathed, but loses combat and breaks. Desh' Garroth flees 9 inches, Seth (now up to 5 wounds and 10 attacks) pursues... 8. ARGH!!!

Chaos turn 6:

Well, actually we thought it was turn 6 last turn and didn't play an actual 6th round. It seemed a nifty place to finish anyway.

Epilogue:

Seth scrambled after the Dark Elf General. Blood covered him head to foot; some elven red, some reptilian green. The arcing power of the Slaaneshi token he wore had feasted on his suffering, had transformed it to strength and speed and power like nothing else on earth. He was footsteps behind when suddenly Desh' Garroth stopped, turned, and smiled pleasantly.

"This wasn't what I'd been told to expect." he declared.

Seth's sword found the hollow of the elf's throat. He spoke through clenched teeth. "I know the feeling."

The Druchii's smile widened. "Then perhaps you might be willing to call it a day."

Seth nearly laughed. "I'm thinking more like perhaps your head might fall off in a second."

The General motioned up at the nearby wall. "I'm thinking perhaps such rash actions might have repercussions." Two reapers and an entire regiment of repeater crossbowmen had trained their weapons on Seth Garrick from their elevated positions. They were now only waiting for Desh' Garroth to either walk free, or more likely die and clear their field of fire.

Desh'Garroth then motioned behind Seth. A short glance showed Seth several more regiments approaching quickly and unopposed. Not good. To his left King Willie had just finished hacking a dark rider to death, and having turned, now saw the same grim scenario as Seth.

Seth turned back to the General. "What are you offering?"

The elf nodded. "There is a place of honor for you in the fighting pits of Naggaroth..."

Seth sword snicked back and forth, powered by the chaos magic of pain and suffering. Desh' Garroth touched his neck, feeling blood beginning to trickle from a red 'x' lightly slashed there.

"I gave you two so you'd know the first wasn't an accident." Seth squinted at his surroundings. "My friends and I ride out of here. Unmolested. Now."

Elven condescension clouded Desh' Garroth's face. "I think your tactical position..."

Seth's swordpoint hovered steadily half an inch from the elf's left eye. "I'm just a stupid human, elf, and can't be counted on to understand such things as 'tactical positions'. However, I do understand two things. First, if you say we can go, we can probably go. And second, if you don't say we can go, while my friends and I will most certainly die," The point moved a quarter inch toward the frozen druchii. "It's not like you'll be around to enjoy the victory celebration. Savvy?"

Desh' Garroth didn't tremble or waver. He has sand, Seth admitted. For an elf.

Finally the elven noble shrugged. "I would hate to miss the victory celebration." With a snort the General turned and walked back toward the gate, calling out orders for his troops to follow.

In short order Seth and Willie were left alone on the tundra, looking up at the wall and the sentinels manning it.

"Seven men for a pick-up, huh, King?"

"They said they'd kill him if I brought more. I thought we might fight our way free if they double-crossed us..."

Seth's fist struck the man across the faceplate of his helmet, sending the surprised Sorcerer sprawling. The Archmage sprang up, weapon out, already chanting the words to a spell which would root Seth to the ground he stood on. But Seth did not seek to follow up his attack. He stood, looking sourly at the man he'd once trusted.

"You just consider that marker paid, King." Then with nothing further to add he turned to make his way back north, to more civilized lands.

Post Game

Lessons learned:

1. If you're going to put out a Sorcerer Lord, Gaze of Gods (or Eye of Tzeentch, presumably) is a no-brainer. King Willie dodged countless pointed barbs, much of it due to Slaanesh's benevolent gaze. One wound from a Reaper Bolt Thrower, one from a teensy crossbowman OVER FOUR TURNS OF SUSTAINED FIRE. Nifty.

2. There's a very, very good reason a Slaanesh Lord can't take Blade of Blood, Slaanesh Pendant, AND Regeneration. Even when you do manage to make only one wound with seven attacks on a Cold One Chariot, I think that it's clear that as a general case it's the most super-freaky combo possible to a fighter character. I was actually quietly cursing at Ren when he failed to wound Seth in the final rounds.

2a. If you're going to get permission for such a heinous combo, spend a little time figuring out how to get your troops in combat, instead of soaking up missile fire for three turns first. To this end the Slaanesh spell which causes Frenzy (available to two mages in the first battle, but sadly unavailable in the second) is da bomb. Mostly because most troops are simply unable with such a fundamental change in tactics. And, once it's cast, it can't be dispelled and you can go on casting other stuff. Titillating Delusions, for example. Just the thing to get those aggravating units moving the wrong direction for a turn or so. Also very nice for sending chariots into difficult terrain (not actually accomplished, but mentioned by Ren, and much approved by myself).

2b. A chariot for a fighty lord in such a scenario would seem a great way to pummel enemies. A steed might work as well, but the drop in armor save would actually work against the MI combo.

3. Minor mages on horseback can take a ton of punishment. A 2+ armor save kept the twins rolling for four turns, despite constant missile/spell fire and being surrounded by enemy troops for two rounds. And the horseys managed to do as many wounds as the mages. Worth the points.

4. It was pointed out afterward that Drain Life can't be cast into combat. Fair enough. But it was me who insisted, lacking evidence otherwise, that Ren go ahead anyway. I'm a sucker for punishment; the joys of Slaaneshi living.

5. Renufus is ta'veren. I realize this is a Jordanian idea, but it seems to hold. Ren rolled irresistible force about six times in two games. I rolled one, but got two miscasts in the final game which ended my magic phase before either of the twins could do anything. This, along with the phenomenal number of precise casting rolls which succeeded only due to the DE +1 to cast ability (four or five if memory serves) shows as clear evidence that Ren is in fact the Dragon Reborn and will die slopes of Shayol Ghul saving us all from the Dark One.

Seriously folks, I am indebted to Ren for such an entertaining afternoon, and his indulgences on behalf of Seth late in the game to allow me to save face somewhat.

Other than that, it was a pretty good day, even if it did turn out to be a long, lonely walk back to the Twisted Goat.

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