The Delicious Agony of Defeat

This is a straight up battle report from last Sunday. My army of Slaanesh, led by the Exalted Champion Briohmar Sriahdcat, facing off against some stunties. There were a few lessons to be learned here for all you Chaos players: First, Dwarves are hard core little buggers, second, though you may feel that slayers are a threat, the only way you can beat them is to a man, so that the resources are probably best sent elsewhere, finally, never send your hardest unit off on the flank when facing these guys, you need them up close and personal in the center of the line.

Having beaten down the Bretonnian Knights, Briohmar's forces separated from their rivals, the Tzeentchian contingent. They were pushing deeper in to the territories of the forces of good, and were having a difficult time finding them. They encountered a bunch of shambling undead, and for lack of a better opponent, began to square off, but one of the outriders appeared and reported that the dwarves were just a couple of miles down the road, and that another bretonnian contingent was fast approaching. A quick conference was called between the two generals, and it was decided that the undead would stave off the knights while Briohmar and the lads went off to try to add some dwarven beards to Grizzabella's Rapturous Standard.

They met the Dwarves at a bit of a cluttered field, the dwarven artillery already setting up on a hill, and a regiment of Crossbows marching up a second hill as fast as their short little legs could carry them. The Dwarf army consisted of 2 Cannons, an Engineer, a Dwarf Lord, a Thane, a Runesmith, three units of 20 clan warriors (all with heavy armor, hand weapon and shield), a stone thrower, some crossbowmen (20), and a 20 strong unit of Slayers led by four Giant Slayers.

Briohmar quickly arrayed his forces, thinking (mistakenly) that the Chosen of Slaanesh should face off against the slayers, he placed them on the left flank along with Grizabella and her standard, the other chaos warriors next to them, then some marauders, the knights, both chariots, the Fiend, and he sent some Marauders and marauder horsemen off to the right as a flanking force in the hopes they would arrive to collapse the dwarven flank in time.



Chaos Turn 1:

Briohmar's army started out discovering that the Dwarves had picked a choice location for the fight. As he, his knights, the chariots and the fiend all found themselves in a very tight knot right in the center. The warriors opted to follow the Chosen around the woods to the left, while the marauders and horsemen advanced easily up the right. Bombalurina and Mestoffeles tried to break up the dwarven line with magic, Mestof attempted casting Luxurious torment on one of the cannon crews, but the Runesmith raised his hammer, and the spell failed. Bombalurina called on her spell familiar to cast the dark hand of death, which managed to kill a single clan warrior from the Runesmith's unit, but then miscast her Blissful Throws, and suffered a wound for her pleasure.



Dwarves Turn 1:

The Dwarves being the stoics depressives that they are, grumbled at the good fortune of having so many high payoff targets right in the line of sight of their cannons, but they managed to get some shots off anyways. The Engineer really saved the day here, as the first cannon misfired, but somehow managed to shoot anyways, smashing the first chariot into splinters. The second gun had added a little too much powder, and overshot their mark, and the stone thrower had to make some range adjustments, as the rock went exactly where it was targeted, three inches behind the flanking marauders. The crossbows had significantly better luck as fifteen of the little buggers fired on the Fiend, and left him lying on the grass, a dying misshapened pincushion. The Dwarven line stoic and grumbling refused to move forward, to join us in our pleasure.



Chaos Turn 2:

Deciding that he was too cramped between the lake and the forest, Briohmar charged forward and challenged the Dwarf Lord to single combat while the rest of his forces advanced, a little too slowly for his purposes. Bombalurina was on her game now, the pain and pleasure of her last attempt giving her extra concentration, Blasted the left cannon with Dark hand of death and the rune smith's Clan warriors with blissful throws. Not to be outdone Mestof cast Luxurious torment on the Slayers, and Blissful Throws to finish off the Cannon crew. During the fight with the Dwarf Lord, Briohmar found that even pain and pleasure are not all that they are built up as. That sneaky little stunty had Runes all over his axe that let him strike first, but failed to wound, and then to add insult to injury, three of four hits failed to wound all because of some silly little engraving that shot out and made the dice of fate re-roll. Having caused only a single wound, which the Blade of Blood transferred to Bri, was enough to strengthen his resolve and keep him in combat.



Dwarves Turn 2:

The Dwarves began to react to the developing situation. The Slayers, now frothing at the mouth from their frenzy, had two of their Trollslayers die as their little hearts burst from the rage burning within them., but they moved forward just as fast as their short legs could carry them, eager to get to the fight with the Chosen ones. The Runesmith ordered his Clan warriors to shift towards the forest as he could see the armored Chaos warriors advancing around the woods. The Thane ordered his warriors forward, anticipating that his General would overcome the the challenge of Briohmar, which he did. Bri had to leave, the crazy stuntie lord was nearly un damageable, again he and his mount scored 3 successful wounds, two of which failed to hurt the dwarf, but Bri did mange to suck some more life out of him with the blade of blood. This time however, the Dwarflord chose to strike at the steed of Slaanesh, and caused two wounds. Though Bri was ecstatic about fighting, his mount chose that particular time to beat a hasty retreat. The dwarves followed, but stopped just short of the waiting chaos knights, who had lost another member of their rapidly diminishing unit to crossbow fire. The cannon chose to fire at the advancing warriors, and promptly misfired, but the Engineer reminded the crew of their immediate action misfire drill, and they still managed to get the shot off, killing two chosen and one regular Chaos Warriors. The catapult also misfired its shot at the advancing Marauder Horsemen, and was left unable to shoot for a while.



Chaos Turn 3:

CHARGE!!! Chaos finally got what they were looking for, openings in the Dwarven defense, and tried to take advantage. The Chosen ones attacked the slayers and killed three of the four Giant Slayers, another Trollslayer suffered from heart failure and also died. The remaining Giantslayer and the Trollslayer musician failed to wound the ecstatic Chosen warriors in their dance of death. The Chaos Knights, all three of them, charged the Dwarflord and his unit of clan Warriors, killing one dwarf, but losing another knight to the Dwarflord, which was enough to send them packing. The marauders still advanced, but slowly on the left, and even slower on the right as they had to move through the woods to get a good charge on the crossbow dwarves on the hill. The marauder horsemen lined up to charge the hill as well., threw their axes causing a wound (Chaos' one actual shooting phase in this game, Yeah!!!) and the lone chariot hit the Thanes unit with the force of impact that was shunted by the damp ground, killing only a single warrior. The crew managed to wound the Thane, and the Steeds killed another Clan Warrior, but the Thane had the Rune of Strength, or whatever, engraved on his hammer, and as he brought it down on the tongue of the chariot, the whole thing flew apart killing the crew and the steeds. The lord pursued the breaking knights right into Briohmar and Bombalurina, but not before she was able to hit the cannon on the hill with another Dark Hand of Death, killing two of the hapless crew. Mestof also hit the cannon with Blissful throws, and the remaining crewman died in exquisite pleasure. He also tried to cause frenzy in the Runesmith's warriors, but was overcome by the Dwarven resistance to spells.



Dwarves Turn 3:

The Runesmith continued his slow advance towards the Chaos Warriors . The Thanes unit moved up to try to support The Lord's unit, still engaged in a stoic fight against the unbreaking Bri and Bom. The Crossbows realized they had problems, and turned to face the Marauder Horsemen behind them, and the engineer threw his hammer at Mestof, but failed to wound him. And the Chosen of Chaos finished off the remaining Giantslayer, and a whole bunch of trollslayers were allowed to atone for their sins.



Chaos Turn 4:

The Chosen Warriors killed off Some more Slayers, but they were there to atone for their sins, and darn it they were going to. The Regular Warriors finally got to come to grips with the Runesmith's Clan, and although they killed two, and suffered no losses, they were driven back, with the Dwarves in cold pursuit (worst pursuit roll I have ever seen, a three -1 for the dwarves, resulted in a two.) but only far enough to capture the banner and leave them able to charge the Chosen ones. The Flail wielding marauders came to the aid of their General and Sorceror, and managed to kill the Clan Warrior Champion, but to no further avail. Chaos won the fight, but everyone held firm. Both Knights rallied, and came about for another go at the dwarves, and the Horsemen, realizing they couldn't wait for the marauders advancing through the woods, charged into the crossbowmen, killed a couple, lost the fight, but held for now, hopefully help would arrive in time from the rear. Mestof attempted to put a frenzy on the Catapult crew, but was dispelled, and hit the engineer with Blissful throws, that'll teach the little bugger to throw his hammer at me, but only caused a single wound (Three of the four dice rolled were ones, drat!).



Dwarves Turn 4:

The Thane and his warriors charged in to add the weight of numbers to the center fight, which was enough to drive Briohmar and Bombalurina from combat, but the marauders, able to see Grizabella still waving the Rapturous Standard (plus a lucky re-rolled break test of snake eyes) held firm (and passed their panic test to boot.) The Thane's clan pursued Bri, but only as far as the remaining Chaos Knights. The stone thrower crew finally managed to get their problems sorted out and launched a beautiful, arcing shot, right into the marauders in the woods, who promptly panicked, and legged it out. Seeing their support run away, the Marauder Horsemen decided to do likewise, but the crossbowmen managed not to pursue them. The Engineer threw his hammer at Mestof again, and this time caused a wound, he'd pay for that! And the Chosen Killed three of the remaining four Slayers, the one who remained, stolidly held the banner in one hand, his drum in his mouth, and his axe in the other hand.



Chaos Turn 5:

Everybody rallied except the Chaos Warriors who fled off the field, and the Chosen finally finished off the last Trollslayer. Mestofeles cast delectable Torture on the Marauders in combat, thinking that being frenzied might help them out, he also hit the pesky flying hammer engineer with Blissful throws, and killed him off. Bombalurina hit the remaining artillery piece with blissful throws as well, and slaughtered them to a man (Dwarf). The marauders were again beaten in combat, and lost their frenzy, but didn't have to break. The Knights killed the Thane, and 2 other Warriors, but not enough to break them.



Dwarves Turn 5:

The Runesmith and his clan attacked the chosen warriors, who were busy wiping themselves down from all the gory Slayers pieces and parts they were wearing, and even they were overcome by the weight of numbers from the Dwarf clan and fled off the battlefield, but Grizabella was not killed, so the Rapturous Standard, with a few Giantslayer crests added to it remained in the army's possession. The marauders, now down to eight of their original twenty, decided that they had had enough of that Dwarflord, and fled. The Chaos knights again worked over the Clan Warriors of the late lamented Thane, but the stubborn buggers refused to run from the battle.



Chaos Turn 6, Resignation:

With less than a third of his force still on the battlefield, Briohmar decided that discretion is the better part of valour, and ordered his forces to withdraw. As a parting shot Mestof and Bombalurina zapped the crossbowmen on the hill with everything they had killing several, but definitely not enough to make a difference. Everyone did manage to once again rally though.





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