You buy salsa by the quart.

 Your Christmas decorations include half a yard of sand and 100
 paper bags.

 You think that a red light is merely a suggestion.

 All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October
but clear out come the end of April.

 You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.

Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los".

 You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.

  Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.

 You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.

  You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

  You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.

  You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

  You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

  Every other vehicle is a 4X4

  Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

  You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

 You can make sun tea instantly. 

  People will drive over a hundred miles just to see snow.

 You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

  Most people will not drink tap water unless they are under dire
 emergency conditions. 

 Kids will ask "What's a mosquito?".

 People with black cars or black upholstery in their car are
automatically assumed to be from out-of-state, or nuts.

  You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
 being close-up.

The AC is on your list of best friends.

 Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 9:00.

 You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

 You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.

  Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

  You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro",  "Tempe", Ajo,
    "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim" and "Cholla".

  It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving
on the streets.

  You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

  Sun screen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, 
    a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go to Circle K.

  Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools 
will actually buy them.

 Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than 
the air inside.

  No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.