Caution - Grandma with pictures.

If you want a happy marriage, do exactly what she says.

Support Bingo - Keep Grandma off the streets.

Hairstylists are shear pleasure. (perfection)

If I could remember your name I'd ask you where I left my keys.

Secretaries are a special type.

Waitresses serve smiles without reservations.

The man who rows the boat generally doesn't have time to rock it.

An optimist is someone who tells you to cheer up when things 
are going his way.

Bald is beautiful.

Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.

When children pay attention to their parents, the parents are probably whispering.

Women are perfect....God made man first for practice.

God is good - God is fair - He gave some men brains and some men hair.

Men's hair has 3 basic styles:  parted, unparted and departed.

Morning people are hard to love.

Of course I don't look as busy as the men - I did it right the first time.

Don't question your wife's judgement....look who she married.

They've found something that does the work of five men...one woman!

Lord, help me to be patient - there are teenagers in the house.

I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.

A grouchy German is a Sour Kraut.

Man doesn't live by bread alone, he also needs some buttering up.

Women are like tea leaves - you don't know their strength until they're in hot water.

My husband says he'll leave me if I don't stop shopping - Boy, will I miss that man.

The opinions expressed by the husband of this household are not necessarily those of the management.