Pathetic Person Of The Month
Andy Dick
A winner once again!
-A flashback to July 1999-
with sincere apologies to Dr. Seuss!
"Do you like that Andy Dick?"
No, I do not. He makes me sick.
"Would you underneath Dave's house?
Or with a Dunkin Donut's mouse?"
I would not like him at Dave's house.
I would not like him with a mouse.
I do not like that Andy Dick.
I do not like him. He makes me sick.
"Would you? Could you? With his shrink?"
I would not. Could not. I don't think.
"Would you? Could you? At the Ed?
Would you? Could you? In a bed?"
I did not like him at the Ed.
And now I'm sick from what you said.
"Would you if he shed his self?
Cut his hair and watched his health?
Would you? Could you? On a plow?
Or maybe with his Hosey Cow?"
I would not! Could not! Stop this trick!
I DO NOT LIKE THAT ANDY DICK!
But if you will just let me be
I will check and I will see...
SAY!
I still don't like Andy Dick now.
But I'm going to keep his Hosey Cow!

Previous Pathetic People...
Cindy Crawford Nov. 96 Oprah Winfrey Dec. 96
Jimmie Walker Jan. 97, Carmen Electra Feb. 97,
Tie... Tokyo Shock Boys and the NBC Network Weasels March 97
Pauly Shore April 97, The "Guy From H&R Block" May 97
John Goodman June 97, Farrah Fawcett July 97
Jay Leno August 97, Tom Arnold Sept. 97, The Hooters Girls Oct. 97
Harmony Korine Nov. 97, Kirstie Alley Dec. 97
Bridget Fonda and George Miller Jan. 98
The Spice Girls Feb. 98, Marilyn Manson March 98
The Guy On Fire April 98, Matt LeBlanc May 98, Donald Trump June 98
Jennifer Lopez & Chloe Sevigny July 98, Nick Evans August 98
Jay Leno Sept. 98, Tom Shales Oct. 98, Larry, The One-Eyed Dog Nov. 98
Jerry Springer Dec. 98, Howard Stern Jan. 99, Patricia Arquette Feb. 99
Fresh Step March 99, Elton John April 99, Matthew Broderick May 99
Jennifer Lopez June 99, Andy Dick July 99, Chris Rock August 99
The Amazing Kreskin Sept. 99, Nobody Oct. 99
Richard Simmons
Nov. 99, Laetitia Casta Dec. 99
The Turkish Guy Jan 2000, Jon Lovitz March 2000,
Joaquin
Phoenix, Catherine Zeta Jones June 2001
Marilu Henner July 2001

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